Living another life
by bflahavin
Summary: Originally called 'Existing'. Kirk finds himself in another universe thanks to a transporter malfunction. It's a Universe with many differences, the main one being that James T. Kirk died as an infant
1. Chapter 1

A/N:

**_I need a break from my 'Private Tutoring' universe and so I am not going to write the sequel to 'You never stop learning' until I finish this one._**

**_Also, because of work and study, I won't be following a strict updating timetable. I will simply update when I can, but don't worry, I won't leave you hanging long._**

**_Thank you to T'Arrah for offering to be my Beta for this story._**

**_I don't own Star Trek_**

**_/_**

**_/  
><em>**

When the beams of light finally fade, instead of finding himself on Star Base 4, where he was going to meet Admiral Pike about more funding for the science department. Jim Kirk finds himself back on the transporter platform of the Enterprise. Normally he wouldn't be bothered by the obvious transporter malfunction, because even the best technology can fail at some point (and has a few times on this ship), but something is different this time. That difference is that instead of Kirk's chief engineer, Montgomery Scott, apologizing for the glitch like he has in the past, he is instead pointing a phaser at his captain.

"Put your hands where I can see 'em and then explain to me who you are and how you beamed aboard this ship when the transporter was deactivated."

Kirk lifts his hands up so that they are in plan view and studies the face of his friend. There is no sign of recognition in the Scot's expression, which has him worried. Before Jim can answer the man, he notices that Scotty's gaze is focused on his sleeves, or more precisely, the markings on his sleeves. The phaser drops slightly as confusion now washes over Scotty's face.

"You're a captain? I was nae aware that there were any ships docked at Star Base 4 besides ours. Maybe it was just a clerical error. It is nae like those people on the Star base haven't done stuff like this before."

The man in red seems to be talking more to himself then to Kirk, so Jim takes the time to analyze the information that has been presented to him. It doesn't take him long to come up with a plausible hypothesis.

_'Parallel universe. Old Spock told me it was possible to transport to one if ion clouds or storms are involved. Didn't really take him seriously. That'll teach me. Now, if only the old man had told me what to do if I ever found myself in one I would be all set.'_

Jim pulls himself out his thoughts and glances at Scotty, who is still has the phaser in his hand and is quietly muttering to himself about the incompetence that Star base personnel. Kirk rolls his eyes as he muses on the fact that there are some universal constants after all. He clears his throat and waits for Scotty to again focus on him. Once he has the older man's attention, Jim decides that he might as well go for broke and tell Mr Scott everything. He was never a man that enjoyed beating around the bush, no point in starting now.

"I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise and I all I can say for certain regarding how I got here is that I didn't do it by falling down any rabbit holes."

Scotty's lips twitch into a smile for a moment before his expression once again becomes serious, though Jim is thankful for the fact that the engineer's weapon has been lowered to the man's side. It means that this Scotty doesn't see him as a risk.

"Now I know that at least one of those things are not true. Captain Pike is the commander of this ship, not you."

Kirk stares at the man in red and smiles at the fact that Scotty is so calm and collected regarding this not so small inconsistency. Time to test that calm to it's limits.

"Actually, everything I said is true, just not in this universe. I think I may have been accidentally transported to a different dimension, universe, whatever you want to call it."

Scotty's eyes widen at this piece of information and he slowly slips his phaser into his holster. A hand goes up to scratch at his head as he struggles absorb all this. Finally, the engineers hand drops to his side.

"This is a little above my head. I think I'm gonna have to get the Captain down here, so we can sort this all out."

Kirk nods in understanding at the confused man.

"Good idea."

Scotty turns his back on Jim (another show of trust, that fills Jim with warm fuzzies) and walks towards the wall where the comm unit is situated.

"Transporter room to bridge. Come in Bridge."

There is static for a few second before Spock's deep voice fills the room. Kirk's heart speeds up at the sound.

"**Spock here. What do you require, Mr Scott?"**

Scotty glances over his shoulder at Jim who is only just now stepping down from the raised platform. Jim smiles at Scotty reassuringly and mouths "you can do it," hoping that help dispel the lost look on the older man's face.

"Well... um... you see... uh..."

Jim can almost hear Spock's eye roll (or the Vulcan equivalent).

"**Mr Scott, will you be forming actual coherent sentences in the near future or should I bunker down for a long wait. I will need more provisions if the latter is the case."**

Kirk's eyebrows shoot up in surprise at Spock's obvious joke. He always knew that his Spock had a sense of humor, but it is always so carefully hidden. No one but him (and maybe Nyota) could ever see it.

Jim turns to Scotty expecting the man's expression to mirror his own, but he is just smiling in appreciation of the joke, not surprised at all that the Vulcan made one.

_'Weird. It is like Scotty is used to Spock acting this way... wait, maybe he is. This is, presumably, a different universe after all.'_

"Sorry Commander. I comm'd to ask if Captain Pike could meet me here. There is a... situation."

Spock's voice is all seriousness when he answers.

"**Captain Pike is indisposed at the moment. I will come in his stead. Expect my arrival in 4.3 minutes. Spock out."**

Kirk's face breaks out into a lopsided grin. '_There's the Spock I know.'_

Scotty and Jim stand in silence as they wait for Spock to arrive. Exactly 4.3 minutes later, both men turn toward the entrance of the room as Spock steps through it. The Vulcan halts mid-step as his gaze shifts from Mr Scott to Kirk. Jim watches as Spock's eyes widen in surprise for a second before those brown eyes slowly give the blonde's body the once over. Jim just barely stops himself from fidgeting under the scrutiny.

_'If I didn't know any better, I would swear that Spock is checking me out. Lucky I do know better.'_

As if reading Jim's thoughts, Spock straightens slightly, walks further into the room and redirects his attention to the other man dressed in engineer red.

"Mr Scott, am I correct in assuming that this man is the situation you were referring to?"

Scotty nods, "Aye. He he just appeared out of nowhere as we left orbit. The transporter wasn't even switched on."

Spock's eyebrow rises as his gaze once again lands on Kirk. He clasps his hands behind his back and makes his way closer to Jim, who has decided to keep his mouth shut until he is actually spoken to.

"You are a member of Starfleet?"

Jim pointed looks down at his uniform before gracing the Vulcan with a look of incredulity.

"I think the answer to that question is pretty obvious, Spock."

Both of Spock's eyebrows are now past his hairline and Kirk mentally face palms himself for the slip up. Spock is now staring at him in suspicion.

"I do not believe that introductions have been made. How is it that you know my name when I most certainly did not inform you of it?"

Kirk hesitates. He doesn't think it is time to lay out everything like he did with Scotty, not when he hasn't even introduced himself yet. He needs another explanation and that is when he remembers something.

"I heard it when Mr Scott here was talking to you over the comm unit," Kirk voice becomes a little more confident with that justification, "Yeah, that's where I heard it."

Jim can see that Spock seems unconvinced. He doesn't blame the guy.

"What is your name? From the markings on your uniform I have already ascertained that you hold the rank of captain, which I must say is quite rare for a person so young."

Kirk glares at Spock and places his hands on his hips. He has never liked it when people have brought up his age and rank in a disbelieving light.

"Hey! I am only two years younger than yo..." Jim trails off as he sees the suspicion again enter the Vulcan' eyes, as he, for the second time, says too much. Kirk decides to pretend that he didn't say anything and answer Spock's original question.

"The name is James Tiberius Kirk and I'm captain of the USS Enterprise."

Spock turns to Scotty who has been watching their exchange. The Scot simply shrugs at the first officer.

"See the situation? This lad seems honest enough, but I have nae heard of him and we both know that he is not our captain."

Spock inclines his head in agreement and Kirk sighs in exasperation. He can't believe he has to explain this. He was sure that Spock would have worked it out for himself.

_'So much for the Vulcan superior intellect.'_ Jim mutters mentally.

"Guys, I think it is pretty clear to everyone in this room that I am not the captain of this Enterprise, but I am the captain of an Enterprise."

Spock's head tilts in confusion. "Explain."

Kirk straightens his spine and puts on his best 'I'm a serious captain' face.

"My ship passed through an ion cloud before reaching Star base 4 and I bet your ship passed through something similar before leaving the same Star base. I have heard that ion clouds and storms can do some weird shit to transporters. I have even heard of people being transported to other dimensions."

Curiosity overtakes Spock's expression and Jim is once again shocked at how easy it is for him to read this Spock. This version of his Vulcan first officer is far more expressive with his emotion, which is a little strange for Jim, (but he also finds it kind of hot). Kirk mentally shakes himself free from that non-productive train of thought, as Spock starts speaking.

"I gather from your nonchalant attitude during your explanation that you have had experience with realities other than your own."

Kirk sighs, "More than you know. Between Romulans and Vulcans from an alternate future and memories, that don't belong to me, of an evil universe...," A smirk forms on his lips as his eyes meet Spock's, "Where you have a sexy beard by the way, you could say that I am expert in the field."

Kirk barely finishes speaking before Spock is standing less then a foot in front of him and is holding his shoulders in a harsh grip. Spock looks almost manic (for a Vulcan, anyway).

"You mentioned Romulans. Do you mean Nero?"

Now it is Kirk's turn to look panicked.

"Nero was here too? Does that mean that Vulcan was also destroyed here?"

Confusion (and what looks like pity) crosses Spock's face before it forms a neutral mask that Jim is much more accustomed to from his own Spock. The Vulcan lets go of Kirk and backs away, again clasping his hands behind his back.

"I believe the time has come for you to meet with Captain Pike, who will be more apt at explaining our past experience with Nero. He also needs to be informed that his ship is currently housing an inter-dimensional visitor."

Spock spins on his heels and heads for the door. Once he reaches the threshold, he turns back to the man in command yellow and tilts his head to the side in question.

"Are you coming, Captain Kirk?"

Without waiting for an answer, Spock walks out of the door and heads in the direction of the turbolift.

Jim grins at this Spock, who is different, yet incredibly similar to his own Spock. He stiffens when he notices Scotty is watching him with a strange smirk plastered on his face. Kirk diverts his eyes, not quite sure what to make of the look and gives the older man a quick salute of farewell, before he jogs out of the transporter room and in the direction he saw Spock go.

The Vulcan is waiting for him at the entrance of the turbolift. They enter the lift quietly and the silence continues for more than a few minutes before Kirk finally breaks it.

"So, I thought Pike wasn't on the bridge, or at least that is what I gathered from your conversation with Scotty. Why are we heading there now?"

Again Jim is made aware that this is not his Enterprise or his Spock by the fact that Spock does not chastise him for casualness when addressing Starfleet officers. This Spock just eyes Jim for a moment before answering.

"He informed me that he would resume command at 1600 hours, which was 10.6 minutes ago. It is only logical to assume that to resume command of a starship, one must be on the bridge to do so."

Kirk's breath hitches at the small teasing smile that forms on Spock's lips. He has never seen Spock smile before, especially not at him. If Spock notices the change in Jim's breathing pattern, he doesn't say anything, which the Human is thankful for.

"You're a funny man, Spock. I think we'll get along really well."

Just as the lift door open onto the bridge, the smile leaves the Vulcan's face (but not his eye) and he steps out. Jim nearly misses Spock whisper "as do I," as the Vulcan moves towards the command chair that is facing the view-screen.

"Captain Pike, I wish to introduce you to a man that I am sure you will find quite fascinating."

Kirk takes this as his cue to step up next to Spock, watching as the captain's chair, and the man in it, spins around to face them. When Christopher Pike's gaze lands on Kirk, his expressions transforms from curiosity, to recognition, to utter disbelief. Jim can't help but think that Pike looks like a man that has just seen a ghost. The older captain slowly rises out of his seat and one of his hands reaches out towards Jim.

"George?" Pike says in a lowered his voice.

The one worded question that is filled with sadness, grief and... hope has Kirk realizing that the man standing before him is seeing a ghost. The ghost of his father.

/

**I will update when I can. Reviews always speed up the process.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am celebrating the fact that I handed in an assignment by posting this chapter. **

**Pike gets set straight and Kirk gets some unplesent news about this universe.**

**T'Arrah beta'd this chapter, but all mistakes remain mine.**

**Star Trek isn't mine.**

/

/

One minute Jim is staring into the haunted eyes of the man who, in another universe, is like a father to him, and the next minute he is being embraced in a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh my god! I can't believe it! How can this be, George? How are you here... and so young too. It's impossible."

Kirk's heart breaks a little for the man whose arms are surrounding him. He never realized how hard his father's death was on Pike. He doesn't know what to do, so he turns his head slightly to Spock, hoping the Vulcan will help him out. Those hopes are dashed however, when he sees that Spock seems to be frozen in shock by his Captain's unusual behaviour. His expressive eyes are wide in surprise and confusion.

_'Guess I'm on my own this time.'_

Jim lifts his hands and grabs Chris by his shoulders, and with gentle force, he pushes the older man away so that they are now facing each other. Kirk's expression softens further as he notes that, although Pike is not crying, it is a near thing.

"I'm not George Kirk, Chris. I'm his son, Jim."

With this new piece of information Pike studies Kirk's face before letting go of him and backing way a few steps. A look of bewilderment now crosses the man's face.

"That's impossible. James Kirk died on an escape shuttle during the attack on the _Kelvin, _minutes after his birth along with Winona. You can't be him."

Jim's face goes deathly white and he sways on his feet at hearing the fate of himself and his mother in this universe. He feels as though there is no ground beneath him and that he is seconds away from falling, but then an extremely warm hand grasps his arm and manages to ground him. Kirk turns to find a pair of worried brown eyes staring at him.

"Thanks," Kirk whispers to Spock.

Spock nods and releases him before addressing a still confused Pike.

"Captain, according to Mr Scott, this man appeared on our transporter pad shortly after we left Star Base 4. This gentleman hypothesises that he transported here from a parallel universe because of interference from an ion cloud."

During this speech Pike has managed to snap out of his daze of confusion and his sight sets on his First Officer.

"You're saying he is from another universe, Commander?"

Kirk's brows furrow when Spock shakes his head.

"Negative, Captain. I am stating that this is what what he is saying. I have yet to be presented with any evidence that this Captain James T. Kirk is who he claims to be."

Pike's gaze snaps to Kirk. "Captain?"

Kirk huffs in annoyance. _'Why is it so hard for people to believe that I am a fucking Captain?'_

Instead of voicing his indignation out loud, he plasters on his face one of his most brilliant smiles and nods.

"Yep, youngest in the fleet. I'm Captain of the _USS Enterprise. _Had it for a year now."

At Pike's disbelieving expression, Jim continues with a smirk tugging at his lips.

"In my universe, of course."

Pike returns the smirk. "Of course."

A deliberate cough has both captains turning to face a very impatient looking Vulcan.

"If you are finished with your moment of human male bonding, maybe we could concentrate on a way to confirm this man's identity. I would like to rule out the possibility that he may be an enemy agent. Or I could wait for you to fist bump each first."

Kirk stares at Spock in a strange mix of amused horror at his blatant display of sarcasm, while Pike just chuckles.

"Sorry Spock. I know how you hate to waste time. But don't worry, I have a way to prove if he is who he says he is."

Pike turns and walks over to his chair and activates the comm unit on its arm.

"Captain Pike to Sickbay."

Kirk holds his breath, waiting to see who will answer. A desire to hear his best friends voice burns through his body. That desire is fulfilled when a familiar souther drawl reaches his ears.

"McCoy here. How can I be of service, Captain?"

Kirk frowns at the lack of sarcasm and the unexpected politeness. _'I have never heard Bones speak that way, except when he is talking to his daughter.'_

"I need you to meet me in Conference room A... and bring your medkit," Pike says into the unit.

The slightly worried voice of the ships CMO again fills the bridge.

"Is someone injured, Sir?"

Jim is becoming disorientated once more. He is not used to this level of professionalism coming from his friend. He's accustomed to Bones screaming over the communicator about how this ship is filled with accident prone babies and how Jim is their king.

"No one is hurt, Doctor. I just need you, so that you can run a test for me."

There is an obvious sigh of relief before the doctor responds.

"I'm happy to hear that no one is hurt. I'll meet up with you in five minutes, Captain. McCoy out."

Pike straightens to his full height and takes a step away from the captain's chair.

"Sulu, our visitor, Mr Spock and myself will be in Conference room A trying to sort out this situation. I don't want us disturbed, unless it is an emergency. You have the conn."

Kirk watches as this universe's Sulu salutes.

"Aye, Sir."

Jim takes this moment to scan the bridge and the crew, since he was a little distracted to do so before. He discovers that nearly everything is identical to his own bridge, with only a few minor differences. Sulu is at the helm and looks pretty much the same at the one back home. Uhura is at the communications station (where she belongs), but her hair is different. Instead of her long ponytail, she has a shoulder length bob that, in Kirk's opinion, suits her better. She looks softer. Chekov is next to Sulu at Navigations. At first glance he looks the same as the one Kirk knows, but then he spots the long scar that mars the young man's left cheek. It looks as though young Pavel has had a harder time in this universe.

Kirk's observations are cut short when Pike called to him.

"Come on, boy. I'm sure you're as eager as us to get all this sorted out. You're with us too, Mr Spock."

Spock nods once in acceptance.

Pike returns the gesture and then heads towards the turbo lift. Kirk and Spock follow close behind. Jim tries to ignore the fact that Spock is walking a whole lot closer to him then his own Spock ever has and also the fact that the Vulcan keeps giving him these little unreadable side-long glances. He can feel his palms getting sweaty and quickly reminds himself that he is not a teenage girl and so he needs to stop acting like one. It doesn't quite work.

The journey to the conference room is made in relative silence. Apparently, both Pike and Spock want to pretend that Chris' little emotional out burst on the bridge didn't happen. Kirk can handle that. He was never one for conversations about emotions and in this instance the outburst was justified. He would have acted the same way if he thought his best friend just come back from the dead.

_'Yep, I am definitely not going to hold it against him.'_

When they arrive at the conference room, McCoy (who looks exactly as Jim remembers him) is already there waiting for them. The doctor rises from where he is sitting and salutes both Pike and Spock. Kirk can't help but crack up laughing at this. It is just too much. McCoy gives Jim a very well known scowl. But rather then intimidating Jim as the doctor had probably planned, it actually comforts him. He feels as though he is on more familiar ground when he is on the receiving end of one of those scowls. However, the scowl soon disappears when Pike steps closer to the doctor and addresses him.

"Doctor McCoy, I need you to take a sample of this gentleman's blood and run it through the computer to find out if he has any family relations on file."

From the corner of his eye Jim spots the moment when understanding washes over Spock's handsome features.

"You are planning to find out if James," Kirk's insides jump at Spock using his first name, "is indeed a member of the Kirk family by comparing his blood to the samples taken from his parents when they joined Starfleet. That is very logical."

Pike smiles at his first officer. "Always the tone of surprise from you, Spock. I'm starting to get insulted."

Spock's lips form their own small smile as his amused eyes lock with his captain.

"It was not my intention to be insulting, but I believe that my surprise is valid. Humans are not exactly known for their great leaps in logic, though you have other attributes that more then make up for the fact you are illogical creatures."

Kirk is so caught up in this unbelievable exchange that he doesn't even notice McCoy sneak up next to him until he is viciously (in his opinion) stabbed with a hypo. His hand automatically shoots up to rub the stinging flesh of his neck.

"Holy crap, Bones! Why do you always have to be so rough, huh? Those things really hurt."

Because Jim is so focused on the pain in his neck, it takes him a minute to pick up on the fact that the room has gone deathly quiet. Both Spock and McCoy are giving him the eyebrow of doom, while Pike seems to be trying to hold back his laughter. McCoy's voice is what breaks the awkward silence.

"I think I'll just run that test now. Shouldn't take but a minute, so just hold tight."

McCoy gives Kirk an apprehensive once over before turning away and heading toward the computer on the the table.

Jim nearly jumps out of his skin when an elbow jabs him in the ribs. Pike looks unapologetic when Kirk spins to face him. Instead he just seems curious.

"Bones? What kind of name is that?"

Spock is also staring at Kirk inquisitively, obviously wanting to know the reasoning behind such a strange name.

Jim shrugs. "Just a nick name I gave the McCoy of my universe. Sort of an inside joke."

Pike seems satisfied with this explanation and moves on to watch the doctor as he intently focuses on the computer screen. Spock, on the other hand seems ready to launch into more questions, but thankfully McCoy interrupts before the Vulcan can voice them.

"The computer is done analysing the blood sample." The doctor turns to address the computer unit.

"Computer, play results."

Everyone in the room falls silent as the computerized female voice sounds out from the speakers in the room.

"Familial matches found. Father: Lieutenant George Kirk, deceased. Mother: Lieutenant Winona Kirk, deceased."

Kirk winces at that, but he was prepared for it thanks to Pike's earlier comment on the bridge. He listens carefully as the computer continues.

"Brother: Ensign George Samuel Kirk Jr., deceased."

This, Jim was not prepared for and he collapses to the floor as his legs buckle beneath him. Spock is crouching beside him almost immediately with concern written all over his face.

"Are you okay, James? Are you hurt?"

Jim shakes his head in answer and slowly lifts his head to look up at Pike, who is staring down at him in sympathy.

"How? How did Sam die?," Jim wheezes out over the constricting pressure around his chest.

Pike reaches down with his hand, offering to help Kirk up. Jim is just about to take it when another hand, this time a pale green colour, appears before him. At some point when Kirk was addressing Chris, Spock must have made his way to his feet. He tries to control his heart rate as he takes a hold of both offered hands and the two men pull him to his feet. Spock and Pike lead Jim to the large conference table and guide him into a seat. Spock takes the seat next to Kirk, while Pike leans

against the edge of the table on his other side. McCoy is still seated next to the computer terminal, looking ready to jump to his feet if he is needed.

Chris stares down at Kirk in fatherly concern and it is almost more then the blond can bare, so his eyes drop to his hands that are resting on the table.

"Please, tell me how it happened. How did my brother die?"

Chris takes a a deep breath as if stealing himself against the pain that will come from talking about Sam. As if this topic will also injure him.

"It was Nero. Sam was on planet for leave when Nero attacked. He couldn't get to a transport in time. I'm sorry."

The warm hand from before is back again, but this time it is on his shoulder. He turns to Spock as the hand squeezes him gently as a form of comfort. The Vulcan's eyes seem to be mirroring his own grief.

"I grieve with thee, James."

Kirk doesn't fully absorb what Spock has said because his brain is just too busy trying to connect the dots. There is a piece of the puzzle missing. His eyes once again fix on Pike. The older man is startled by the obvious anger that is mixed with the confusion on the younger captain's face.

"What the hell was Sam doing on Vulcan? No starfleet personnel are positioned there and it is one of the Federation planets that doesn't offer shore leave. There was no reason for him to be there."

Pike and Spock glance at each other in puzzlement before Pike's gaze returns to Kirk's slightly flushed face.

"Jim, Nero never attacked Vulcan."

Pike hesitates. Kirk simply waits for the man to continue and Chris doesn't disappoint him.

"He attacked and destroyed Earth, son."

Jim's head swings towards Spock, who nods solemnly in confirmation. Bright blue eyes scan the room in a blind panic. He scrambles to his feet, knocking over his chair and backs away from the three other men in the room. Kirk points a shaking finger at a worried looking Pike. An equally worried Vulcan is now standing next to the older captain. Both men seem unsure of what to do.

"That's bullshit! You are messing with me. There is no way that happ..." Kirk trails off as his vision begins to blur and the room starts to spin. He feels himself falling. The last two things he is aware of before darkness overtakes him is that Spock has managed to catch him before he hits the ground and that the rest of Spock's body is just as warm as his hands.

/

**I will not be posting the next chapter until sometime next week. Got to do my homework first. I am just lucky that I have a super fast beta.**


	3. Chapter 3

Kirk opens his eyes to discover that he's in sickbay, which for some reason fills him with a sense of belonging that has been missing since he arrived (probably has something to do with the fact that back in his universe it was a second home to him) and that a pre-teen girl is sitting on the edge of his bio bed. It takes his sleep muddled brain a second to recognise the girl. He also isn't helped by the fact that the last time he saw her (or the one from his universe anyway) was at his graduation ceremony.

"Joanna? What are you doing here?"

Kirk is now awake enough to realise the huge mistake he just made. He inwardly kicks himself for, yet again, putting his foot in his mouth. All he needs at this moment is to freak out a twelve year old girl whose father has an endless supply of painful hypos and no knowledge of their friendship.

_'Maybe during my next physical I could get Bones (either one) to find the fucking on switch for the filter to my mouth because apparently I have no idea where it is. Jeez!'_

Kirk squeezes his eyes shut and waits for the screaming to commence, but it never come. He cracks one eye open to find Joanna staring at him in wide-eyed wonder.

"So you really are from another universe? It must be true because how could you possible know my name when we have never met, unless, of course, you have met another Joanna McCoy. Wow! It sort of blows the mind."

Kirk is floundering. He doesn't know what to address first. Possibly that she should not be so calm about all this. Or should he bring up the fact that she really shouldn't know any of this stuff, or maybe he should ask her why she is on his bed, or perhaps he should mention that since he is awake she should have gone and told her dad, so that he could do doctor-y stuff.

All that comes out of his mouth though is an inarticulate "Um... what?"

Joanna bulldozes on, seemingly unaware that Jim has even spoken. While she babbles on, he lifts himself up a little so that he can lean against the backboard of the bed and his pillows and hopes that she will run out of steam soon, so that he can get a word in.

"Am I prettier than the Joanna you know? Does she also live on a starship?"

Kirk watches as suddenly the young girl's pretty face loses all it's enthusiasm and turns sad.

"Did her planet get destroyed like mine?"

Jim's goes to speak, hoping that what comes out will be comforting (even if he himself is still coming to terms with the fact that his planet is lost to him in this universe), but his mouth slams shut when he spots McCoy resting casually against the door frame. The girl realises he is no longer focused on her and turns around to find out what has caught his attention.

"JoJo, I thought I told you not to go bothering this young man. I know you are curious after your little eavesdropping session," McCoy's eyes narrow a little in reprimand, "but the boy needs his rest."

Joanna blushes slightly before again facing Kirk and lowering her eyes in shame.

"I'm sorry, Mr Kirk. I didn't mean to disturb you as I did. My curiosity just gets away with me sometimes, is all."

Jim can't help but melt when hearing that soft, sweet voice that always becomes heavily accented when she is overly emotional, just like her dad.

"It's okay, Jo. No harm done and please, call me Jim. Mr Kirk was my father's name."

Joanna's eyes lift to meet his and she breaks out into a face spitting grin. What ever she was about to say though is cut off by McCoy clearing his throat.

"Your mother is looking for you, JoJo. I think you better get going. You know how you're mom hates it when you're late for dinner. I'll be by later to tuck you in."

Joanna apparently doesn't need to be told twice. Kirk inwardly chuckles as she scrambles off the bed and runs to the door, nearly tripping over her own feet as she meets up with her father. Then, as if just remembering her manners, she spins around and waves frantically at Jim.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Jim. It'll be real nice to talk with you again sometime."

Before Jim can respond, the young lady bolts out the door and disappears out of sight.

McCoy pushes himself off the frame and steps further into the room, allowing the automatic door to finally shut. The older man scrubs his hands against his face and gives a small groan. Jim takes this opportunity to quickly scan the doctor's hands for the ring that was pawned away by his own best friend many years ago. He spots it, right where it should be, on the ring finger of the older man's left hand.

_'Huh. Bones is still married in this place. Maybe that's why he is a little nicer. Still freaks me out though.'_

McCoy's hands drop to his side and he glances at Kirk apologetically. "Sorry about that, kid. She's a little goddamn busy body just like her mother. Can't do nothing but hope that she will eventually grow out of it."

Jim just shrugs. "She was no problem. I just hope I didn't bring up any bad memories."

McCoy's face loses it's hard edges after hearing the young man's concern for his daughter's well-being and Kirk is ecstatic that he is making head way with the man that has played such an important part of his life.

The doctor walks over to the side of the bed and holds out a data chip toward Jim. The blond looks up at McCoy questioningly. It seems this McCoy is just as good at reading Jim as the other one because he is quick to answer the unspoken query.

"Mr Spock asked me to give this to you. It is all the details about Nero's attack and the affects of that attack. He feels that it is in your best interest to be as informed about the situation as possible, so that you are not overwhelmed in the future. It also has info of your family on there."

Kirk nods as he takes the disk and flips it in one hand. "Thanks."

McCoy shakes his head. "Don't thank me. It was all Spock's idea. He also told me that he'll be down to visit you soon, right after he and Captain Pike finish finding out from Starfleet brass what is to be done with you. Sort of glad that I ain't in that meeting."

Jim gives McCoy a small smile before gesturing in agreement. McCoy just stares at him as if he were a puzzle that he doesn't quite get because too many of the pieces are still missing.

"Well, I'll just leave you to your reading. I would say enjoy yourself, but knowing what is on that disk, I would be worried if you actually did."

Kirk releases a sigh as his eyes follow McCoy's form out the door. He and Bones have never had trouble communicating, but that conversation was not comfortable at all. As Jim grabs the PADD on his side table and inserts the disk, he can't help but hope that with time (what little he has in this dimension) that he and this McCoy will become friends. Who knows, maybe in this universe he may even become friends with Spock, though since it still hasn't happened in his own time, he is doubtful it will happen here.

_'A man can dream.'_

* * *

><p>While reading through all the data Spock had given him, Jim is finally able to piece together the circumstances that that led to the destruction of his home planet.<p>

The major difference that he figured was the cause of events unfolding differently seemed to be that Nero and his crew did not manage to escape the Klingon prison planet until after old Spock (or Selik as he is now known in Jim's universe) had come through the anomaly and travelled to Earth to warn Starfleet about the Romulan mining ship and it's crazed captain. When Nero finally did escape, he followed Selik to Earth where he was confronted by a number of fleet ships that were manned by cadets. All but the E_nterprise _ were destroyed._ The Enterprise _managed to escape and meet up with the rest of the fleet (that had been called back, thanks to Selik's early warning). They succeeded in overpowering the Narada and destroyed the drill, but not before it had killed thousands (including his brother, who had been staying close to Starfleet HQ during his shore leave) by drilling directly through the centre of San Francisco.

Nero ordered is ship to leave Earth's orbit and head toward the Sun. At first, Starfleet command had thought the Romulans were destroying themselves so they could evade capture, but then Selik (only mentioned as 'the Ambassador' in the the files) informed them of what Nero had somehow managed to beam up from his ship at the last minute... red matter. Nero drove his ship into the sun, which set off the red matter and swallowed Sol.

Nero may not have destroyed the Earth in quite the same way as he did Vulcan, but he _did _destroy it nevertheless. Without the sun, the Earth's atmosphere began to deteriorate rapidly, plants and animals died and natural disasters plagued the planet. It only took 3 months for, the once thriving Earth, to become an inhospitable wasteland. In the end, only 20% of Earth's population managed to survive. At first, Kirk was shocked by this figure, but then he remembered that most of the fleet had been demolished in the battle against Nero. There were just not enough ships to transport people, even with the help of other Federation planets, they simply could not get people off the planet fast enough. It also didn't help that many of planets under Federation law were not suitable to house Humans.

_'Apparently we humans are a picky bunch when it comes to what we need to live. I never understood why Spock always said we are fragile creatures... Now I do.' _

Kirk is startled out of his depressing thought when the man he was just thinking about, walks through the door. He quickly wipes at his cheeks to rid himself of the tears that had unconsciously fallen during his does not give any indication that he has noticed (for which Kirk is grateful for) and simply sits down on the chair next to Kirk's bed. Jim gives the Vulcan an embarrassed smile and a watery chuckle.

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this, Spock. I don't even know why I was... am so emotional. It's not like it was actually _my _planet or _my _brother."

Spock says nothing, knowing that Jim has not finished yet. He waits patiently, watching the human with tender eyes.

"God, I wasn't even that close to the Sam in my time, or my mom for that matter and I had never really felt that Earth was my home, but coming here, where nobody know me and finding out, that not only is my whole family dead, but also that 80% of my species and my planet are just... gone, makes me feel so alone."

Jim's eyes fall to his lap as he tries to stop himself from crying again. Once was more than enough. He nearly jumps out of the bed when he feels one of Spock's hands cover one of his that is resting on the bed at his side. He glances up at Spock who has a determined expression on his face.

"You are not alone, James. I am here with you."

Kirk starts to get lost in the depths of Spock's eyes, but manages to shake himself free long enough to shake is head.

"You barely know me, Spock and I barely know you. I'm not going to ask you to hold my hand until I find a way back to my universe. It's not fair to you..." _''...or to me.'_

Spock lets go of the blonde's hand and sits back in his chair with a puzzled look on his face.

"I was led to believe from your actions and past comments, that you were acquainted with the Spock of your universe. If that is true, then you do indeed know me. As for myself, I find you to be an intelligent, kind and thoroughly amusing person. I would not be opposed to becoming your friend."

These words should bring Jim pleasure, but all they do is depress him further. How can this Spock, who has known him for less than a day, be so willing to be his friend, when his own Spock has rejected every overture of friendship for the last year. He fears that maybe once this Spock gets to know him, he will turn him away as well.

"You are not the same as the Spock I know. You are different... emotional."

Spock's eyes harden slightly and Jim is quick to continue before he is on the receiving end of a nasty nerve pinch.

"Please don't take offence. I've just noticed that you are much easier to read then my own First Officer. You are so much more expressive, both verbally and physically. It is a little strange for me."

For the first time since Jim has been here, Spock's face becomes completely expressionless.

"Is the way I act unpleasant for you, James? Does it make you uncomfortable?"

Kirk takes a moment to think about it. He remembers how this man has been patient with him when he should have just thrown him in the brig, has listened to him and has comforted him. He can still feel the phantom warmth from where Spock's hands touched him iin an effort to soothe. He heart palpitates as he recalls the soft looks this Vulcan has given him since he arrived on this ship. He definitely cannot say that any of that was uncomfortable or unpleasant. Quite the opposite in fact, and that is what scares him. He can't let himself get used to this if he is going to return to his own _Enterprise._

His heart will break if he does.

"No, I don't. It's actually quite nice... for a change."

Spock rewards Kirk for is answer by giving him a half smile that nearly fries the humans brain with it's sexiness.

"I am glad." Spock then stands and the smile fades, but his eyes continue to express his happiness.

"Dr McCoy informed me before I entered here that you can be released from his care. I came here to escort you to the conference room, where Captain Pike is waiting. He will inform you of Starfleet's orders regarding your status."

Kirk rolls out of the other side of the bed and with his back facing the Commander, begins divesting himself of his medical robe. Once he is rid of it, he walks over to the counter in front of him, in only his boxer briefs, where his clothes are neatly folded and grabs his pants. He is halfway through pulling on his pants when a question comes to his mind.

"Hey Spock, you were in the meeting with Pike, couldn't you just tell me what was said?"

Kirk has finished buttoning his pants and is waiting for the Vulcan's reply, but there is nothing but silence. He waits a few seconds more before he worriedly spins around. The sight that greets Jim has him trying desperately to suppress a gloating smirk. Even from where he is standing he can see that Spock's pupils are blown wide and his ears and cheeks are greener than usual.

_'Apparently, Spock is enjoying the view. Not that I can blame him. I am incredibly hot.'_

Kirk waves his hands in front of himself to try and get Spock's attention. "Kirk to Spock. Come in Spock."

The Vulcan jolts slightly and his gaze turns apologetic.

"I am sorry, James. I was momentarily distracted."

The corners of Kirk's lips twitch. _'Of course you were.' _He is mighty proud of his self control since he has stopped himself from puffing out his chest like a vain peacock, even though it is really tempting.

"To answer your question, I cannot 'just tell you' what was discussed, because I myself do not know. I was only present at the beginning of the meeting, so that I could relay my report of what occurred in the transporter room. I was asked to leave and wait in the ready room until the meeting had concluded."

Jim nods in acceptance of this explanation and turns to retrieve his black under-shirt. He decides to forego his command tunic because it draws to much attention, but he does pat the folded gold fabric lightly as if apologising for abandoning it. He dresses himself in the black shirt and turns back to face Spock. His smirk nearly returns when his spots the disappointment in the Vulcan's expression.

_'Sorry Spock, but I would give too many people heart attacks if I walk around the ship without a shirt.'_

Kirk steps around the bed to stand directly before Spock. He reaches out and claps the man in blue on the shoulder, before heading for the door.

"I might not be from this universe and I may have had an emotional breakdown, albeit a very manly one, but I do remember where the conference room is. Follow me, Commander."

Jim is out the door and heading towards the exit and so misses Spock's quiet words. "Anywhere, t'hy'la."


	4. Chapter 4

**Kirk finds out what he is going to be doing in this universe and we discover a little more about this new Spock.**

**This chapter was beta'd by T'Arrah.**

**Don't own Star Trek.**

/

/

Spock and Kirk walk side by side to the conference room in a comfortable silence and make good time. Jim is about to step into the path of the door sensor, when he is stopped by a hand on his arm. He turns to Spock with a quizzical gaze.

"Before we enter, I just wish to apologize for my taking liberties with you. Though you are not a captain in this universe, you _are_ still a Captain and I have been far too casual when addressing you. I neglected to even inquire how you would prefer to be addressed. I wish to remedy that now, before our time together progresses any further."

Jim takes a moment to translate the 'Spock speak' into standard. He smiles a little as he realizes that Spock is asking him what he prefers to be called. The smiles fades slowly as he truly thinks about the question.

_'The Spock on my ship usually calls me Captain, even when off duty. I don't want that. He could call me Jim since everyone else does, but I sort of like the fact that he is calling me James. Only Grandpa Tiberius called me James and it always made me feel special. I think...'_

"I like James," Jim continues out load.

He blushes as he realizes that he didn't even notice the switch. He will need to watch that around Spock because he really doesn't need the Vulcan hearing his thoughts. Spock already has touch telepathy, no need for Kirk to make it too easy for the man.

Spock makes a show of looking slowly up and down the Humans body before once again meeting bright blue eyes. His small grin can only be considered cocky, as Kirk stares at him dumbly.

Spock leans in close to Jim and whispers, "What a coincidence. I also like James."

Spock then moves away and walks past Kirk into the path of the sensor. The door slides open quickly and Spock steps through.

Jim continues to stand in the hallway trying to figure out if what he had just witnessed had actually happened or if he had just imagined it. He snaps out of his semi-comatose state when he sees that the door is about to close and he quickly squeezes through it. While giving himself a mental reminder to cut down on the burgers, he finds himself standing in the middle of the room with two amused faces, one Vulcan and one Human, watching him from their places behind the table. Jim, trying to muster what dignity he has left after that mad dash into the room, puts his hands on his hips and strikes his most captain-y pose (that he has in no way been practicing in front of his mirror, when he is bored).

"So what's the dealy-o, gentleman?"

Dpock's eyebrow lifts in a teasing manner and Pike tries to stifle his chuckle. Kirk releases a deep sigh.

_'Goodbye dignity. I barely knew thee.'_

Chris points to the chair on the other side of the table, across from he and Spock.

"Take a seat, Jim. It is all right that I call you Jim, or would you prefer something else?"

Kirk answers automatically. "Jim's fine. Everybody calls me Jim."

Then he remembers his very recent conversation with Spock and gives a quick glance in the Vulcan's direction. The wounded look he is expecting isn't there, instead he finds that Spock seems to look... pleased. The breath Kirk was holding escapes in a whoosh. He is beyond relieved that Spock understands (at least he hopes the Vulcan understands) why he doesn't want anyone else calling him James. It is something special he wants to keep between the two of them.

Jim takes the seat Pike has gestured to and makes himself comfortable, or as comfortable as he can

in these Starfleet issued torture devices.

Pike's face is now all business as he leans forward on the table and address the equally serious Kirk.

"I have informed Starfleet of your situation,"

Kirk can't help but roll his eyes _'Can no one around here think of a better word then 'situation?' Maybe I should place an order for a fucking thesaurus!' _

"And I have been told to 'figure things out'."

Jim shakes his head and chuckles humourlessly to himself.

"Yeah, that sounds like something the Admiralty would say. Passing the buck is what they're good at. So what are you going to do with me?"

Pike pushes his PADD over to Kirk and the blond glances down to see that it is basic information about the ship's next mission. He studies it further as the older captain answers his question.

"The ion cloud has dissipated and we can't just stick around and hope it reappears. We will try to find a way for you to return to your own _Enterprise _using the resources on this ship, but as you can see we have been ordered to Vulcan to pick up diplomats and it looks like you are coming with us."

After hearing that the mission is to Vulcan, Jim studies the PADD more intently to find out the names of the diplomats, but he is disappointed to discover that they have not been listed ( or more specifically, Selik and Sarek have not been listed).

His gaze lifts and halts on Spock for a moment before it eventually settles on Pike. His voice comes out minutely frustrated.

"So what do I do in the meantime? Sit in the guest quarters and twiddle my thumbs? I am going to tell you now that is not a good idea. There is nothing more destructive then a bored James T. Kirk. Things tend to get blown up, or at the very least, they get set on fire."

Both humans turn to Spock after he makes a sound that can only be considered a cross between a cough and a laugh. The Vulcan plasters on an innocent expression and bows his head in apology.

"I am sorry, I had something lodged in my throat. I was compelled to dislodge it."

Both Jim and Chris give the first officer a look that says they in no way believe him for a second, but they are both smart enough to not push it. Pike focuses once again on the young man in front of him.

"Don't worry, Jim. I wouldn't dream of keeping you idle when you could easily be of use around this ship. Of course, you can't take up your usual job since that is taken," Pike winks at Jim before continuing. "But I'm sure you have other talents that can be put to use. What else, besides command, are you good at?"

Jim ponders that question.

_'Does sex count as a talent. I think it does, but unless this universe is more different then I originally thought, I don't think it will be much help here. I did minor in computers. Maybe I can work in the computer labs, which would mean that I could work with Spock. Yep, that'll work nicely.'_

Kirk keeps his grin in check when he locks eyes with Pike's and tries to keep his voice neutral. No need for him to seem to eager.

"I'm pretty handy with a computer. I could always help out in the labs."

Spock purposefully clears his throat to gain the attention of his Captain. Kirk has an idea where this is going and so returns his attention to the PADD in his hands and begins typing furiously.

"Captain, though I am sure James does indeed have beyond basic skills in computer science, I wish to remind you that we have many crucial experiments under way and we would be risking their progress if we allow-"

Spock is cut of by what sounds suspiciously like pop music, coming from Spock's own PADD that is resting on the table, near his hand. The Vulcan's eyes go wide as they looks down at the device spewing music, and they go wider still when they see the message that is on the screen.

**Spock,**

**It took me less than a minute to get through all your security protocols and firewalls to implant the song and this message. I believe that qualifies me to hang out with you egg heads down in the labs.**

**-Jim**

**P.S. This song sort of reminds me of you. A woman from the 21****st**** Century sang it. It's called E.T. Fitting, right?**

Kirk presses a button on the PADD in his grasp and the music stops. He places his elbows on the surface of the table and rests his chin on his hands. He watches as Spock's eyes rise slowly to meet his and delivers the most magnificent smile.

Spock gives Jim an abashed nod before speaking to Pike. "I was mistaken in my assumption. It appears that James will be more than capable to work within the computer labs."

Chris, who is now leaning back in his chair, seems thoroughly entertained by their exchange. He grins at Spock, who is trying his best to look dignified after getting schooled so thoroughly Kirk style.

"Yes, it does, but don't fret Commander, Jim seems like the forgiving type. Now that Kirk's duties on this ship are all sorted, maybe you could show Jim to his quarters. The guest quarters across form yours will probably be the most convenient, since I am trusting you to take care of all of his needs."

At that statement, Jim struggles to keep the suggestive comments that begin floating through his mind to himself.

Pike ploughs on, unaware of the blonde's inner battle.

"Also, make sure Kirk is put on the next duty roster in the labs."

Both Pike and and Spock stand at the same time and the Vulcan salutes his commanding officer. Chris returns the salute.

"Aye, sir."

Pike faces Jim and gives him a friendly smile.

"See you tomorrow, Jim. Sleep well."

With that said, the older man makes his way to the door and disappears through it. Jim slowly gets out of his own chair and eyes Spock, waiting for the Vulcan to make a move. He doesn't wait long. Spock stretches one arm out towards the exit.

"When you are ready, James."

Without another word, both men exit the conference room and head towards the turbolift. Once inside the both go to activate the controls. Their fingers brush and Jim feels a pleasant jolt shoot up his arm at the contact.

_'What the hell was that?'_

Kirk is so distracted by the sensation that he misses the look of smugness that flashes across Spock's face.

It takes them no time at all to reach the level of the ship that houses the living quarters and Spock and Jim find themselves facing each other in front of the guest quarters Kirk will be using during his stay. Spock seems almost nervous as the stands there. Kirk is sure that behind the Vulcan's back, green hands are fidgeting, if the muscles tensing under his blue shirt sleeves are anything to go by.

"This is where I leave you, James. My quarters are adjacent to yours. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to call on me."

Kirk smiles gratefully at Spock. "You will be the first person I come to. Now, before I go and crash in my bed, maybe you could tell me when you want me to report for duty. You know, so I can set my alarm like a good little officer."

Jim is half expecting Spock to ask him to clarify the 'crash in bed' comment, but he should have known by now that he was not going to act like the Vulcan he is familiar with. Spock instead takes out his PADD and scrolls his finger down the screen.

"I will place you on Gamma shift. I am the lab supervisor of that shift, so you will report directly to me."

Kirk starts at this. _'Spock couldn't possibly mean that he supervises Gamma shift everyday. Even my Spock doesn't do that. He would have barely any time to himself.'_

"You don't work every Gamma shift, do you? I know you also work Alpha on the bridge. How do you find time to hang out with your friends?"

Spock purposefully keeps his eyes on the device in his hand, hiding his saddened eyes from Jim's searching gaze.

"Though I am on friendly terms with many of the officers I work with, there is no one that I consider my friend. Since I have few opportunities to socialize, I made the decision to utilize my time by taking on an extra shift."

Kirk is still confused.

"What about Uhura?"He voices the question and now it is Spock's turn to look confused.

"I do not understand your query. Lieutenant Uhura and I are co-workers, but we share very little else in common. We have no reason to socialize with each other and I have no interest in doing so in the near future."

Jim's heart and mind go into overdrive. _'He is not with Uhura. He has no interest in her, which means he is not dating her. He's single.'_

He endeavours to keep a straight face, so that Spock will not see how giddy he is about this revelation.

His voice is thankfully steady as he speaks. "I don't approve of this at all, Spock. Everyone needs time to socialize and unwind with other beings. I am taking it upon myself to ensure you get that chance. After shift tomorrow, we are going to play chess. You do play, don't you?"

Spock is staring at Kirk with a look of open astonishment. "I... do."

Kirk claps his hands together and smiles at the flummoxed Vulcan.

"Excellent it's a date."

Spock's cheeks are slightly flushed as nods and whispers a quiet "Goodnight, James."

The Vulcan spins around quickly and races to his door. Before he can his keypad, Jim calls out his name and the Spock freezes mid-step, his back still to the Human.

"In the document Pike showed me about our mission to Vulcan, it mentioned that we were picking up diplomats, but it did not mention any by name. Will your father be one of the diplomats coming aboard?"

Jim notices Spock's back tense at the mention of his father and can't help but wonder what could possibly have caused such a negative reaction. Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait long for Spock shed some light, even if his back is still facing Kirk's when he speaks.

"Though you are correct in stating that my father was in fact a diplomat, it would be quite impossible for him to travel with us on the _Enterprise, _seeing as how he has been dead for the last 13 years."

Spock takes another step closer to his door and it slides open. He hesitates for a moment before speaking again. "Sleep well, Captain."

Jim winces at the formal title and watches, with wistful eyes, as Spock quickly disappears into his quarters without so much as a backwards glance. Kirk continues to stand in the empty hallway trying to absorb what he has been told and failing miserably. He travels into his own room and makes his way over to his bed and flops down on top of it. He stares up at the ceiling and recalls the last image he has of Spock, all stiff and guarded. But then anyone speaking about a dead parent would act the same. Shit, he has acted that way himself when people have mentioned his father.

Kirk releases a heavy sigh and places his hands behind his head, while continuing to stare up at the plain white bulkhead above him. As he feels himself begin to drift off into sleep, he makes the decision to do everything in his power to show Spock that he is there for him in whatever capacity the Vulcan needs him.

\As he falls further into slumber, his sleepy mind fills with images of Spock and his small smiles, and he curses his heart for doing this to him again.

_'It was painful enough the first time.'_

_/_

**Next chapter shouldn't be too far away. Friday at the latest.  
><strong>

**We find out about Chekov's scar and we see that this Spock is not ashamed to show his jealous side.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here is the next chapter. We get learn a little more about how this universe is different and Jim meets another familiar face. Spock is not overly happy about that.**

**I would like to thank T'Arrah for being my beta and offering such great support.**

**Don't own Star Trek.**

/

/

Kirk wakes up an hour before his shift starts, still in his uniform (even his boots). He can't believe that he slept for so long, or so deeply, but considering the day he had yesterday, he does have an excuse. He quickly takes a shower and gets dressed in his regulation blacks.

Jim is starving, not actually able to remember the last time he ate, so he walks over to the replicator and orders up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He scans the room as he takes his first bite, seeing as how he did not have the opportunity, to look it over last night. On the side table next to his bed he spots a PADD unit and there is a light blinking on it, indicating that there is a message waiting for him.

Kirk takes another bite of his sandwich as he strolls over to his bed and picks up the device. He presses a button and the message appears on the screen.

**James,**

**This PADD is for your personal use while you are on this ship. There will also be a communicator and phaser in your top draw.**

**Captain Pike received a communiqué**** from Starfleet command informing us that you are to keep the title of Captain that you carried with you from your universe. This allows you to wear command gold and your stripes while on duty. I have attached the codes to this message that will allow you to replicated the correct tunic.**

**I hope you rested well and look forward to seeing you at the commencement of Gamma shift.**

**-Spock**

Jim smiles around the last bite of his sandwich as he re-reads the message. He is happy that he gets to keep his rank as captain, but that is not the reason he can't seem to wipe the grin from his face. It is the last line of the message that has done it. Spock has been thinking about him. His smile gets wider at the thought.

It doesn't take Jim too long to remember that he has places to be, so he hastily replicates himself a tunic, grabs the communicator from the draw and putting it in his pocket (he leaves the phaser where it is, not liking to carry it around while on ship). He then replicates himself a cup of coffee to drink on his way down to the labs.

As he steps out into the passageway, with coffee and PADD in hand, he comes face to face with an slightly impatient looking Pavel Chekov. Kirk tries to hide the fact that this slip of a boy had just managed to scare the ever lovin' crap out of him. He seems to have succeeded because the young man shows no sign of noticing Jim's fright. Chekov just straightens his posture and salutes.

"Captain Kirk, Commander Spock has ordered me to escort you down to labs for your shift."

Jim wants to argue the fact that he is perfectly capable of finding his own way down to the labs, but then realizes that it would be wasted on the wrong person. Chekov is just following orders. His real opponent lies with Spock and he is determined to set that Vulcan straight the moment they are alone together.

So instead of voicing his complaint, Jim simply nods at the ensign, who is fidgeting slightly as he waits for Jim to acknowledge him and comply.

"Okay, boy wonder. Lead the way."

Pavel's doe eyes widen a bit at the unexpected nickname but he says nothing. Instead, he begins walking towards the turbolift, obviously confident in the fact that Kirk will follow him. Jim doesn't let him down.

After a few seconds in the turbolift, Chekov turns to Kirk, with curiosity that he has successfully managed to hide up until now.

"Captain Pike has explained to the crew who you are. I find it wery intriguing that you are are from a different uniwerse. Are there many things different here?"

Jim mentally chuckles at the familiar accent. He is glad to see that the child-like wonder that was within his own navigations officer is also brimming within this one, but the good feeling dies a little when his gaze falls on the nasty scar on the man's cheek. He can't control the small frown that forms on his face.

"There are a few differences."

Chekov's young eyes stare at him knowingly and a hand comes up to touch his scar.

"You are perhaps wondering about this scar, no? I will tell you. I am not ashamed."

Kirk shakes his head, "You don't have to tell me if you don't-"

Jim cuts himself off as Pavel shakes his own head and juts his chin out determinedly.

"I was on team that did space drop onto drill. One of the Romulans snuck up on me, but I was the one who claimed wictory in the end. With the help of Hikaru... I mean Sulu, of course."

Jim stares down at Pavel, his respect growing for the man, even though he had thought that emotion had already reached it's limits when Chekov was concerned, but apparently not. Before he can say anything though, the lift's door opens and Chekov is making his way towards the entrance of the labs. He waits there while Jim jogs to catch up. Chekov takes the now empty coffee cup from Kirk's hand before speaking.

"I think you can make your way from here, Captain. It was nice meeting you."

Just as Pavel is about to turn and walk away, Jim grabs the sleeve of the ensign's arm that is closest to him. Chekov's eyes meet his in question.

"Do you play cards, Chekov?"

The curly haired man appears a little taken back by the the unexpected question and he replies hesitantly, "Da, sir."

"And do you drink vodka?"

This question pulls Chekov out of his uncertainty and he gives Kirk a wide smile.

"Da, sir," Pavel answers enthusiastically.

Kirk returns the smile and inwardly congratulates himself for his utter brilliance.

"Well then, maybe we can get together tomorrow night for a game of poker and a few drinks. Invite Sulu too. The more the merrier as I always say."

Chekov nods his head frantically and starts to sprint away from the older man, but then he looks to remember where he is and turns back to Kirk with a sheepish expression in his face. His young face is red with embarrassment as he salutes. Jim returns the salute with a straight face and watches as the navigator walks away at a more dignified pace. He waits until he his sure that Pavel is out of earshot before bursting into laughter. He curls in on himself slightly and wraps his hands around his waist as he laughs harder.

Jim is brought back to himself when he hears the door behind him open. He spins around, still chuckling, to find Spock standing in the doorway with a soft, yet unnameable (to Jim anyway) look in his eyes.

Kirk finally has control over himself and he stands a little straighter as he addresses the Vulcan before him.

"Sorry Spock for the outburst, but I can hardly be blamed when it seems that in every universe Pavel Chekov is as adorable as a basket full of kittens."

Spock's lips twitch in one corner as he continues to stare at the Human standing in front of him.

"Indeed. I will not hold it against you, seeing as I have also fallen victim to Ensign Chekov's cuteness. I have even begun exploring avenues to harness his power as a weapon, but my endeavour has not yet yielded any substantial results."

Before Kirk can reign it in, he snorts a laugh that gets Spock raising one slender eyebrow in response. Jim composes himself (again) and gently grabs Spock's upper arm. He holds his breath as he waits for Spock pull away from him, like the Spock in his universe would, and frees it when, instead of pulling away, Spock actually moves a little closer. Jim squeezes the arm lightly as he starts guiding Spock through the doors.

"Come on, Spock. It's nearly time for our shift. Come and show me where you want me and what you want me to do."

From the corner of his eye, Jim can see a green blush stain the tip of the Vulcan's ears and cheeks. It takes all his willpower to keep his smirk to a minimum.

The smirk has totally disappeared and his hand has dropped to his side, by the time they make their way into the main computer lab. There are at least 15 officers in the labs, working diligently at their consoles. They are so engrossed in their work that not a single one has turned around to see who has entered their inner sanctum. Spock motions for Jim to stay where he is while he steps away into the center of the room, where everyone will be able to see him, once he has gotten their attention.

"Excuse me officers for the interruption but I request your full attention for a short amount of time."

The incessant tapping of keys come to a stop and everyone in the room swivels in their chairs to focus on Spock. Kirk is beyond surprised to find that Gaila is among the group. In his universe Gaila had died during the Vulcan massacre. He smiles at the beautiful Orion that he has always had a soft spot for when her gaze meets his, and she winks at him in return. The sound of something snapping has Jim's eyes focusing in Spock direction, where he can see that the Vulcan is now holding two halves of his stylus. The ship's First Officer is not looking in his direction though, he is instead glaring at Gaila, who is doing her damnedest to avert her eyes. Everyone else either did not see what Spock had done or are choosing to ignore it. Jim's bet is on the latter.

"If we are all paying attention, Lieutenant Vro, then perhaps I can continue. This gentleman, as you have most likely heard from Captain Pike's earlier announcement, is Captain James T. Kirk. While he is on this ship he will be working within this lab during Gamma shift. Please make him feel welcome."

There is a chorus of 'aye, sir's' that fill the room.

Spock shoots another glare at Gaila, trying to wordlessly pass on the message that he doesn't want anyone being too friendly with Jim. The hardness in his eye vanish when he turns to face Kirk.

"Which station would best suit your skills, James?"

Jim is silent for a moment as he mentally goes through his option. Since he was really good at hacking computer systems, it seems only logical that he would be good at finding and stopping hackers. It looks like computer security is his best fit.

"Um... I think I would be most comfortable in computer system security."

Spock's whole expression goes dark at this and Kirk wonders what he has said that could possibly have changed the Vulcan's mood so drastically. Before he can ask, Spock looks back over his shoulder in Gaila's direction.

"Lieutenant Vro, could you come here for a moment?"

Jim watches as the Orion hops out of her seat and practically skips over to where he and Spock are standing. She glances between the two men before finally fixing her attention on the Commander.

"Captain Kirk wishes to work in computer system security, which means that he will be partnered with you during Gamma shift. Please show him where his console is and what tasks his is expected to complete. I will be over at the main terminal, completing change over, if you require me."

Gaila gives him a salute. Spock hesitates for a moment as he glances at Kirk from his peripheral, but then he spins around and walks away.

The moment Spock's back is turned, Gaila grabs Jim's hand and pulls him over to a pair of computer consoles. She then manhandles him into a seat and then takes one herself next to him.

"The names Gaila, and you're James. You've become a bit of a celebrity around here, what with the inter-dimensional traveling and all."

She holds out her hand and he grasps it gently, but firmly and shakes it.

"Nice to meet you, Gaila, but I would prefer it if you'd call me Jim."

Gaila's eyes quickly flash to somewhere over his shoulder before meeting his again. She now has a confused frown on her face.

"But Commander Spock called you James."

Jim blushes at the woman's lack of subtlety, which he should have been more prepared for. He quickly averts his eyes from her searching gaze as he goes to speak, because if anyone can pick up on his bullshit, it'll be Gaila.

"Yeah well, Vulcan's are not overly fond of nicknames and I don't want him to feel uncomfortable, do I?"

He risks a glance at the Orion's face to discover a knowing smirk on her face. She pats him condescendingly on the head before speaking.

"Whatever you say, sweetie. Now, let me show you what you need to do, before Commander Spock comes over here and clips our ears."

Kirk leans over to look at his console as Gaila sends him the information he needs to complete his work, all the while sensing that someone is watching him. Normally, he would be freaked out by the sensation, but for some reason, in this instance, he finds it reassuring.

Jim's shift goes by relatively fast. The work is interesting and Gaila is good company, but the one downfall is that because Spock is supervising all the science labs during this shift, he hardly gets to see the Vulcan during that time.

He is just packing up his station when Gaila taps him on the shoulder. Kirk looks up into her smiling face and can't help returning the gesture. He always found her smile to be contagious. He stands up and waits for her to speak.

"Jim, I was wondering if you would like to hang out with me in the rec room for a little while after we are all finished up here? We could play some table hockey?"

Jim opens his mouth to inform her that he already has plans with Spock, but the Vulcan, who appears out of nowhere, beats him to it.

"I am sorry to inform you, Lieutenant Vro, that Captain Kirk has already made plans with me after this shift. I am sure you find someone else to socialize with during that time. You are so very popular after all."

Gaila's cheeks turn a shade darker in embarrassment and Jim's eyes narrow into a glare that he directs at Spock, who, despite his words, does not look the least bit sorry.

Jim's eyes turn gentle as he grabs the Orion by the wrist and actively ignores Spock's own narrowing eyes that are directed at him.

"I'm having a poker game tomorrow night with a few members of the crew and I want you to come."

A small smile tugs at Gaila's lips and she gives a small nod.

Jim delivers a toothy grin at her acceptance to his invitation. Spock, on the other hand, is openly glowering.

"Great, I'll give you the details during our next shift."

Gaila gives him another nod and pulls out of his grasp. She gives him a little wave and then leaves Spock and him alone near Jim's work station.

Kirk places his hands on his hips and stares angrily at Spock, who has plastered on his most innocent expression.

"That was not very nice, Spock. Why did you have to be so rude to her? Surely there was a nicer way to tell her that I was busy tonight."

Spock, totally ignoring Jim's question and accusations, grabs the blonde's PADD off of his station and pointedly looks towards the exit.

"Shall we depart, James?"

Jim gives an audible sigh, knowing that he is not going to get anything out of the stubborn Vulcan and instead grabs the Vulcan's hand, pulling him in the direction of the door.

They are just outside the door when Jim asks,"So, my room or yours?"

Spock makes a choking sound as they both march through the hallway.

"I beg your pardon?" Spock stutters.

Jim glances over his shoulder to find Spock staring at him in disbelief.

"For the chess match. In my experience it is too noisy to play in the rec rooms, so I think the best solution is to play in private quarters. Which ones would be better; mine or yours?"

Spock almost seems disappointed as he motions in understanding.

"I am of the understanding that the guests quarters of this ship are not equipped with a 3D chess set, so I believe it would be best if we play in my quarters."

Jim voices his accord and squeezes Spock's hand companionably. Just as he is about to turn around, he spots brown eyes darting down to their joined hands and the green that begins to flood the Vulcan's cheeks.

Jim is starting to worry that Spock maybe coming down with something, seeing as how he has never seen his own XO's color as much as this one.

As they walk the final few steps towards the turbolift, Jim makes a mental note to talk with Bones about his concerns. You can never be too careful, especially when it concerns Spock.

/

**Next chapter will be up on Monday.**

**There will be some angst, so be prepared.**


	6. Chapter 6

** All those who wanted to know what happened to Sarek, here it is. Also you find out a little more about Kirk's relationship with his own Spock. **

**Warning: Here be some angst.**

**Thanks to T'Arrah for being a fantastic beta.**

**I don't own Star Trek**

**/**

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After following Spock into his quarters, Jim waits patiently just inside the door and watches as Spock walks over to the environmental controls. The Vulcan presses a few buttons and Jim can feel the temperature of the room start to drop. At realizing what has happened, he takes a hasty step towards Spock, who is walking back over to him.

"You don't have to do that, Spock. These are your private quarters. You should be comfortable in your own space. I can handle a little heat."

Spock's face softens as he takes another step toward Kirk. He goes to reach for the man in yellow, but aborts at the last minute and instead clasps his hands behind his back. A warm, barely there smile forms on Spock's lips as he gazes at the concerned man before him.

"Just because you can handle heat, does not mean you should have to, James. You are my guest and I would not be able to adequately concentrate on the game with the knowledge that you might be uncomfortable. You wouldn't allow me to be at such a disadvantage, would you?"

Kirk just blinks dumbly at Spock for a few seconds, before the corner of his lips turn up in a knowing grin. Spock moves to the side and motions to the table and seats in the middle of the room. Kirk takes the hint and glides past Spock, muttering about 'sneaky Vulcan's and their dirty tricks.'

As he sits, he notes that Spock is now by the replicator, which reminds him that he is starving. He goes to ask Spock if he can order something, but discovers he doesn't need to, because when Spock turns around he is holding two plates of food. Jim is practically drooling when Spock places the plate with a burger and fries in front of him. He rips his gaze away from the delicious looking food long enough look over to the the other side of the table where Spock seats himself. Jim gives the Vulcan a grateful smile.

"Thanks, Spock. I am so hungry, I could eat a horse... and maybe the rider as well."

Spock lifts an amused eyebrow and watches as Kirk lifts the burger to his mouth and takes an impossibly large bite.

"Indeed. I would also be quite ravenous if I only ate a sandwich with questionable nutritional value and drank three cups off black coffee in the last eight hours."

Kirk nearly loses the filling of his burger when his hands spasm, and he starts choking on the food he is chewing on. He manages to swallow it and place his still (barely) intact burger on the plate before glaring up at Spock.

"You have been checking up on me?"

Spock nods calmly in the face of Kirk's indignation.

"I am in-charge of ensuring that you get everything you need and that includes your dietary needs. As it turns out, it was advantageous that I did check up on you because you were not adequately feeding yourself."

Most of the ire drains out Jim at Spock's very accurate statement, but he refuses to let the Vulcan win this easily.

"And sending the boy genius to babysit me, what was that about?"

Spock doesn't look the least bit apologetic as he responds.

"Ensign Chekov has an uncanny ability to put people at ease and I thought that since it was your first official day working on this ship that you might be nervous and in need of calming. I am sorry if I made you feel as though I believed you to incompetent. That was never my intention."

Kirk tries desperately not to melt into a puddle of goo at Spock's thoughtfulness. He succeeds (just) and instead gives the Vulcan a grateful smile.

"When you put it that way... thanks, Spock. It's nice to know I have someone watching my back."

Kirk lifts his burger off his plate once more and resumes eating with renewed gusto. Focusing so intently on his meal, Jim fails to notice the sly grin that Spock can't quite keep under control as he spears at his tofu salad.

* * *

><p>They eat in companionable silence and when they finish, Spock clears the dishes and gathers the chess board from his bookshelf and sets it down on the table. They both set up the pieces and after much playful arguing, Jim takes white. He makes a mental note to rub the fact that the Vulcan insisted on this arrangement in his face when he wins the match.<p>

A few turns pass before Jim finally decides to break the quiet of the room by asking the question that has been eating away at him since he found out about the next mission.

"So, you must be excited, or whatever the Vulcan equivalent is, at being able to visit your home planet, even though it will be for only a short time? I'm sure Pike has given you leave to go down to the surface. That is what I would have done."

Spock stills for a moment before continuing with his move. He keeps his eyes firmly fixed on the chess board.

"I assume I would be excited if I considered Vulcan my home, but it has not been a home for me since I was 15."

Spock's soulful, brown eyes finally meet Jim's puzzled blue ones as he keeps going. "After my father's death, my mother felt it best that we move to Earth, where she would be surrounded by a support system of family and friends and away from the negative attitudes of my people, who were never fully welcoming of her... or me. It got worse after my father's death, since he was no longer there to protect us."

Spock's head finally rises to meet the sympathetic gaze of Kirk who opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. His mind has gone blank in anger. Spock save him from his struggle but continuing with his story.

"After Nero killed 500 of the 800 crew members aboard the _USS Kelvin,_" Kirk's eye go wide at this new twist in history, "relations between Humans and Vulcan's, who greatly resemble Romulans, became strained. A terrorist group calling themselves 'Humans first,' attacked and destroyed the ship my father was on as it was heading back to Vulcan after a Federation meeting. There were no survivors."

Jim, without conscious effort, reaches out and lays his hand on top of Spock's. He repeats the words that had given him so much comfort the day before.

"I grieve with thee."

Spock turns his hand over so that his palm is now pressed against Kirk's and he wraps his fingers around the cooler hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you, James. It is sometimes still hard for me to talk about. He was my father and my mother has never gotten over his passing, but being on Earth and around her family gave her strength to cope with the pain of a severed bond. It also allowed me more freedom to express my emotions, which I will admit, I had trouble controlling to the standard my father's people would have preferred and without my father's influence, my control would not improve. The people of Earth were far more tolerant of my faults then the inhabitants of Vulcan were."

Jim can now feel a pleasant buzzing sensation, slowly creeping up his arm, beginning where his hand is encircled by Spock's. He tries to distract himself by finally asking one of the questions that are still bouncing around his mind.

"I don't get it. You say you had an easier time on Earth but if things were... are so bad between Humans and Vulcan's, how did you survive living there? I know first hand how cruel people can be to people who are different."

Spock eyebrow rises at this statement and searches Jim's face for reason for speaking in such a way, but the human's expression indecipherable. Spock gives up the search and gives Jim's hand one final squeeze before letting it go and placing it in his lap, where it is soon met by its partner. Kirk own hand relocates to the board and he takes his turn without even looking to see what move he has just made.

"I was most fortunate to be accepted into a school that taught the children of diplomats. A vast majority of the students were accepting of me, seeing as how many of them were aliens themselves or had exposure to them. The town I lived in with my mother for the two years before I left for Starfleet Academy, was very hospitable. They were, one could say, protective of me. I think they took great pride in proclaiming that they housed a Vulcan."

Jim notices a far off look in Spock's eyes and a wistful smile. But his eyes soon become sad and his lips fall into a frown that just makes Jim want to jump out of his chair and hug the Vulcan. He is startled out of that unhelpful train of thought when Spock's deep voice fills the room once more.

"I was extremely... emotionally compromised when Earth was destroyed. If it was not for my mother's presence on the ship, I am sure that I would have been of little help to Captain Pike when fighting Nero."

Spock glances down at the chest board to make his move before meeting Jim's watery gaze. Jim gulps a few times before being sure that he can speak without his voice cracking.

"That's why you were so understanding with my own little outburst."

Spock nods, "We have both lost people we cared about and who cared for us. They may not have known you in this universe, James, but I am sure that if they had they would have loved you with they're very beings, just like people surely do in your own universe."

That compliment is like a knife in the gut. The Vulcan' words, that paint a reality that he has always wished for, but was always beyond his grasp, cause the many bitter memories of his life to flood his mind. Something suddenly snaps in Kirk. He stands abruptly, knocking over his chair and backing away from the table. Spock's eyes are wide in alarm and shock. The Vulcan slowly rises out of his seat and hesitantly moves towards Jim, who has backed himself against the wall.

"You know nothing of my life and the people in it. Don't speak like you do, Spock," Jim whispers harshly, "I did love them all as you say, but they never loved me. My father died minutes after my birth, he was too busy saving 800 strangers to love me. My mother couldn't even look at me without seeing my dead father, so she never did look at me, just past me. My brother ran away when I was 13, never to be heard from again and I had a step father whose favorite game was 'how many ways can Jimmy bleed'. Even some of my crew do not feel that I am worthy of their time."

Spock doesn't seem to notice how Jim's eyes glance at him longingly before he looks at the last part of the rant. Instead his eyes are closed and his fists are clenching and unclenching at his side. When his eyes finally open, they are filled with rage. He closes the distance between himself and Kirk and grabs the slightly shorter man by the shoulder hard enough to get those blue eyes focusing on him again.

"They are fools, all of them. They do not know the gift that was in their possession. I do, however, know how fortunate I am to be in your company and once the rest of the crew on _this_ ship get to know you, they will feel the same way as I."

Kirk is mesmerized by the passionate gaze that seem to be boring into his very soul. His face gravitates closer to the Vulcan. He can now feel Spock's hot breath against his lips.

"That would be nice, Spock, but I won't be here forever."

Suddenly warm fingers are caressing Jim's cheek and all he can do is close his eyes at the intimate gesture.

"We do not know with any certainty how long you will be here, but what is most important is that you are here now, James. That is enough."

When warm lips press against his, it is like a cold bucket of water has been dumped over Kirk's head. His eyes snap open and he slams his head against the bulkhead in an attempt to move away from Spock, who at some point had shut his eyes as well. He slides out from in-between Spock and the wall and is at the door before the Vulcan has even opened his own eyes. By the time Spock has gotten his bearings and turns around, Jim is in the hall, staring at Spock through the doorway. His body is tense, ready to flee at the first sign of movement. Spock doesn't move. He just gazes at Jim with confusion, longing and hurt shining in his gaze. Jim lowers his in shame.

"We can't do this, Spock. I'm... you're... _we're _emotionally compromised. This isn't what you want."

Spock uses all his Vulcan discipline to keep himself from going to the younger man, who he can see is shaking ever so slightly.

"What is it you want, James? Instead of always focusing on others, I want you to tell me what it is you desire."

Jim's eyes are now determined as they elevate once more, before he shakes his head.

"What I want... is irrelevant. I'm not good for you, Spock. It's better this way."

Before Spock can object, Jim is darting across the hall and into his own room, setting the privacy locks behind him.

Kirk retreats to the farthest wall of the room and slumps to the ground. He places his head in his hands and begin mumbling to himself and the empty room.

"This is not meant to happen. He's not meant to like me back."

Jim heaves a sigh as his fingers thread through his hair and pull at the short, golden strands.

"It was so easy to control my crush when I was on my ship because Spock wouldn't give me the time of day outside of working hours. Then I come here and this Spock turns that crush into... something else."

Kirk lifts his head and searches the room helplessly, hoping that there is something that can help him hidden within. There is not.

Jim retreats into his mind, thinking he will have better luck sorting out his thought this way, then he has spilling his thoughts to an empty room.

_'Jesus! I can never make anything easy on myself. I may be falling in love with a man who lives in a universe I don't belong in. What makes matters worse is that this Spock actually seems to return my feeling, yet I have to go back to a Spock that told me point blank that he wanted nothing but a professional relationship with me.'_

Kirk tugs at his hair harder, almost pulling it out of his scalp, as these thoughts spin around his mind.

_'I could always stay here and give in to what I want, but then what about my ship... my crew... Bones? I can't leave them. Maybe I just be with Spock while I'm here.'_

He groans, knowing the consequences if were to go through with what he is pondering.

_'If I surrender to my feelings, I won't be able to leave here... leave him'_

Jim's head slowly rises as this realization sets in and he stares at the door that would lead him out into the hallway and to Spock's door in a matter of seconds. He gets to his feet, but instead of walking to his door he goes to his bed. He rids himself of his clothes quickly and slips into his bed in his boxer brief. He pounds his pillow with his fists twice, before resting his head upon it and gazing towards the ceiling.

"I have to back and if I give into this thing between us then it will destroy us both when I leave. I won't do that to him. I need to stay away."

With a yawn, he nods his head determinedly against his pillow, having made his decision.

As Jim's eyes drift closed of their own accord, his last clear resolution echoes throughout the barren space.

"I won't be the one that breaks him."

/

**Next chapter will be up Thursday or Friday.**

**Reviews will help me write faster.  
><strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Here is the poker game I promised. Kirk finds out a little more about the other people of this universe, while trying his hardest to keep away from Spock.**

**This chapter was really hard to write and I don't consider it my best, but I can't figure out any other way to make it better, so I'm posting it. **

**Thanks to my beta T'Arrah for being so supportive.**

**Star Trek isn't mine**

**/**

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It is just after beta shift commences that Jim wakes. Knowing that Spock is off shift during this time, Kirk decides it would be best to stay in his quarters. The less time he spends outside of it when he is not working, the less chance he has of having to face Spock.

_'It's best of I just pull away completely. Keep away from temptation and all that.'_

After he has eaten, Jim uses his PADD to reserve one of the smaller rec rooms for the poker game tonight. Once he gets the confirmation, he sends a message to Chekov, informing him of the time and place of the game. He also reminds him to invite Sulu.

After that is done, Jim uploads the duty roaster to find out if McCoy is free for the game. He is and so Kirk send a message to the doctor, inviting him to the game. This Bones may be more professional and just generally nicer than his own, but Jim is sure that the man still enjoys a stiff drink and a good game of cards. The response he gets 5 minutes later confirms his suspicions.

**I'll be there with bells on. Be prepared to lose all your credits, kid.**

**-Dr. McCoy**

The first smile in hours appears on Jim's face at the hint of the man that was/is/could be his best friend. The smile, however, slowly slips from his face when he realizes that he still has a 3 hours until the start of his shift and he has nothing to do.

He strolls over to the comm unit on the sparse desk and takes a seat. After scrolling through the ships digital library and finding nothing of interest, Kirk decides to go through the archived news feeds that give him more details about to the slow disintegration of Earth.

By the time he pulls his eyes away from the horror on the screen (that he wishes he never looked up), he actualizes two things; one: he has about 30 minutes until the start of his shift, and two: he really need some hard liquor right now.

That his the moment his eyes widen as he remember something.

_'Fuck! I promised Chekov and Bones drinks. If I was on my own ship it wouldn't be a problem. I have a shitload of stuff I collected on shore leave, but this isn't my fucking ship, so I have squat.'_

He begins pacing the room, running his hands through his hair and licking his lips like he always does when he is flustered.

"What do I do? Where can I get alcohol 30 minutes before my shift? Who would be willing to share for a small..."

Jim stops in the middle of the room as he trails off. He chuckles to himself as he runs for the door, knowing that if he leaves now and he sprints all the way to Engineering, he will make it to his shift on time.

_'Some things will be constant in any universe and __Scotty__ having a still is one of those things.'_

Kirk, in the end, doesn't have travel all the way to Engineering to speak with Mr Scott. As he is sprinting past the communication labs, Scotty steps out of one of them and right into the blonde's path. Jim manages to stop just before he ploughs into the Scotsman and grabs him by the shoulders instead.

"Scotty! Just the man I was looking for. I need to ask you a big favor."

The slightly startled look disappears from the engineer's face to be replaced with one of curiosity.

"Sure, Captain. Ask away."

Jim has always appreciated Scotty's trusting nature (even though it would sometimes border on naïvety) and it always feels good to be on the receiving end of that trust. Even more so now when this version of Scotty doesn't really know him.

"Well you see, my Mr Scott had a still," Scotty's begins to look nervous, so Kirk quickly continues, "and he would trade some refreshment whenever a group of us got together to play cards. I want to invite you to a game tonight and see if you would be willing to make the same arrangement."

Scotty is trying keep his face serious as he continues to stare at Kirk, but the small grin tugging at the corner of his lips give him away.

"What exactly do I get in this trade you're proposing, Captain?"

Kirk starts rubs his chin and pretends to think for a moment before he gives the man in red a huge, smile.

"Not many people know this about me, but before I joined Starfleet, I worked in a deli. My job was to make the sandwiches. Not to blow my own horn, but I was good at my job."

Scotty's eyes light up at the mention of sandwiches and Kirk knows he's got the man hooked. He watches as the brunette holds out a hand in invitation.

"You've got yourself a deal, Captain. I'll bring the booze as long as you bring the sandwiches. I'm so excited!"

Jim takes his hand and shakes it firmly before letting go to glance at his watch. He quickly tells Scotty where and when the poker game will be held and then start running in the directions of the computer labs, hoping that he can get there before his shift starts.

With one minute to spare, Kirk bursts through the lab doors panting, but quickly composes himself when he realises that every single set of eyes in the room are staring at him. Just within his peripheral view, he can see that Spock is making his towards him and so he all but yells Gaila's name and flees to his workstation.

He sits down and faces Gaila. The Orion is looking him as if he were insane. He can't really blame her.

"Ah, hi Jimmy. You seem awfully eager today."

Jim just shrugs. "The sooner I get started, the sooner I can finish and then head to the rec rooms for the poker game. You're still coming right?"

Gaila seems a bit uneasy as she glances over Kirk's shoulder before looking back at him.

"Who's coming?"

Jim takes a mental head count in his head before answering. "Me, Chekov, Sulu, McCoy and now Scotty."

The Orion's surprised eyes snap over his shoulder again before they meet Jim again and she leans closer to him conspiratorially.

"What about Spock? Isn't he invited? I thought you two were being all buddy buddy."

Kirk sighs. He tries to think of an excuse that will get Gaila off his back, but all he can come up with is a partial truth. He decides that will have to do.

"I just think it would be best if I don't get _too_ close to anyone since I'm going to be leaving soon. He understands. I spent time with him last night." _'And that was a total clusterfuck.'_

Gaila leans back in her chair, crosses her arms over her ample chest while giving Jim her 'You are so full of crap' look.

"Ah ha... if Spock is so okay with your decision, then why is he looking at you like you just kicked his shelat, while using Surak's name in vain?"

Jim risks a quick glance behind him to discover that Gaila is right. Spock is making no effort to hide the fact that he is openly staring at him. He has to look away because the pain shining in the Vulcan's eyes is creating cracks in his resolve.

Jim turns to Gaila with a neutral expression and shrugs.

"Not my problem. Now, lets get to work."

Jim pulls his seat closer to his workstation and makes a show of being totally absorbed by the computer screen in front of him. The Orion watches Jim for a few more seconds before turning to her own console. Spock, on the other hand, barely lets his eyes drift away from Kirk for over an hour.

Kirk tries to remain focused on his work during the shift, but his hyper awareness of every movement Spock makes keeps him on edge. By the end of shift he is ready to explode. He jumps out of his chair and, not even caring if Gaila is finished closing up her station, grabs her hand and begins dragging her towards the door.

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Spock heading to cut them off, but a yeoman steps into his path to request a signature. Jim takes this opportunity to pick up the pace and finally escape into the hallway, where he continues to power walk all the way to the rec rooms.

Jim bursts through the door or the private rec room he had booked, with Gaila stumbling in behind him. She rips her hand free of his grasp, glares at him and moves towards the table where everyone else is waiting for them. The Orion takes a seat next to Sulu and snatches the shot glass from the pilot's hand and downs it in one go. Everyone stares at her in disbelief as she refills the glass and gulps it down without hesitation.

"What? I'm thirsty. Some crazy man dragged me at breakneck speed through the ship for no fucking reason."

Everyone turns to Kirk in sync. Jim just rolls his eyes.

"Don't be such a drama queen, Gaila. I wasn't going that fast. Now where am I sitting?"

McCoy kicks out the chair next to him and points to it.

"You're with me, kid. I wanna keep an eye on you."

Jim strolls over to the doctor and takes the seat next to him. He grabs one of the empty shot glasses in the middle of the table and fills it with Scotty's ship-made concoction. He winces a little at the burn he feels when it travels down his throat, but it isn't the worst stuff he has ever had. He slouches a bit further in his seat and then looks to McCoy with his most innocent expression.

"You don't trust me, Bones?"

The older man's eyebrow goes up at the nickname but he doesn't seem angry. If anything, he looks amused.

"With those baby blues... not a chance in hell."

Kirk lets out a laugh and then scans the table to see what the other are up to. Scotty is happily eating the sandwiches Jim ordered from the galley during his break (he will make them himself next game when he actually has time to do it). Sulu and Gaila are animately discussion the new VR games that have just entered the market. When he spots Chekov, who is staring dishearteningly at his untouched drink, he frowns. Kirk decides he has to make it up to the disappointed ensign.

"Chekov, I know I promised you vodka, but at the time I sort of forgot this isn't my ship. All of my booze is in another dimension. I'm gonna put an order in tomorrow and hopefully we will have some for the next time we play."

Chekov smiles understandingly and nods. Jim picks up the deck of cards and throws them at the 18 year old. Pavel catches it just before it hits him in the face, his expression one of confusion.

"You can deal first, boy genius. No card counting though."

Chekov responds with an enthusiastic "Aye, sir." and begins shuffling. The others at the table glance between the ensign and the young captain with kind eyes.

Chekov's again speaks and manages to pull the occupants of the room from their good hearted thoughts.

"You know, poker was inwented in Russia."

After a beat, the room explodes into laughter.

* * *

><p>After 2 hours and numerous games of poker everyone decides to call it a night. McCoy claps Jim on the back with a warm smile on his face, before saying goodnight to everyone and disappearing through the door. Chekov and Sulu are next to leave. The young navigator is practically carrying the Asian to the door. Jim asks Pavel if he needs any help. He just shakes his head.<p>

"I hawe done this many times. Hikaru cannot hold his alcohol, but I do not mind."

By the way Chekov is gazing down at Sulu, Jim can see that the boy really doesn't mind at all. He tells himself that when he goes back to his universe, he will have to take a better look at the interactions between his pilot and navigator.

It is now just Jim, Gaila and Scotty in the room. He has a feeling that Gaila is hanging around so that she can walk him to his quarters (hopefully just as a friend), but he has no idea why Scotty is still here. Just as he is about to ask the engineer what's up, the door opens and Uhura walks in. Scotty bolts over to her and wraps around her in a hug. Kirk waits for her to push him off, but instead nearly has a heart attack, when the dark woman kisses the man's forehead and brushes fingers through his hair.

"Did you have a good time, Monty? Plenty of sandwiches?"

Scotty buries his face further into Uhura's neck and nods.

"Aye lass, The sandwiches were magical, but I would have had an even better time if you were here."

Uhura pulls the Scotsman closer to her and presses a kiss to one of his rosy cheeks.

"I wish I could've been here but I had to finish off some reports. I promise to come next time. Now, lets get you to bed."

Scotty pulls away from the communications officer with a sly grin on his face and a twinkle in his slightly glassy eyes.

"You planning to have your wicked way with me, lass?"

Uhura giggles as she plants one last kiss on her boyfriend's nose.

"Damn, you have discovered my devious plot. I am simply no match for your brilliance."

By this time, Gaila has managed to drag Kirk over to the enamoured couple (Jim sees it as revenge for their earlier trip through the ship). Gaila clears her throat to get the pairs attention.

"Nyota, I know that you know who this is, but I think you deserve an official introduction. This is Jim Kirk," The Orion looks to Jim, "Jimmy, this is Nyota Uhura."

Kirk holds out his hand. "Pleasure to meet you Uhura."

The woman in red gives him a blinding smile that Jim has seen his Uhura give others, but has never been directed at him.

"It is a pleasure to meet you as well Jim, but please call me Nyota."

Kirk stares at her dumbly as she releases his hand, gives Gaila a quick hug and then grabs a hold of her swaying boyfriend.

"I better get him back to our room before he passes out or starts groping the bulkhead."

She shakes her head at Gaila's questioning look.

"Don't ask. Let's just say that I have to fight this ship for his attention sometimes. I'll see you both later."

Gaila and Kirk watch as a very patient Uhura uses gentle force to get Scotty out the door and into the hallway. Jim finds himself not that far behind them as the Orion takes his wrist and begins guiding him back to his quarters. He tries to ignore the fact that the pleasant tingling sensation he gets whenever Spock touches him is completely absent at Gaila's touch. Those kind of thoughts will lead to nothing good.

In no time at all they are both standing in front of Jim's door. Gaila has yet to release his wrist and she is now looking at the blond expectantly.

"I could come in with you if you want, Jimmy."

Kirk is tempted. God knows he needs a distraction and Gaila was always good at giving him one, but he also knows that it will not solve anything. Also, he knows it's ridiculous, but he sort of feels that he would be cheating on Spock if he is with anyone one else, even thought he knows that is an idiotic thing to think.

_'Jeez! That Vulcan has ruined me for anyone else.'_

Jim is just about to turn her down as gently as he can, when Gaila's head snaps to the side as if she has heard something. Kirk can't hear anything, but then he remembers his xenobiology lessons about Orion's and how they have far better hearing then humans. He waits patiently for Gaila to tell him what she is listening too, but all she does is let go of his wrist as if it was on fire and takes a frantic step away from him. Her eyes are wide with fear and Jim is getting concerned.

"Gaila, what is it?"

She takes a quick glance at Spock's door behind her before shaking her head at Jim.

"Nothing. It's nothing, but I'm afraid I won't be able to come in tonight.., or any other night. Probably best if I let you get some rest... alone. See you in the labs tomorrow, Jimmy."

She suddenly flinches and amends, "I mean Jim. See you tomorrow, _Jim._"

The Orion is practically running down the hall as if the devil himself is chasing her. Jim watches her disappear and then examines the empty space around him trying to find a reason for Gaila's weird behaviour. He discovers nothing that can explain what had just happened, so he just puts it down to it being late and to the fact Gaila has always been a bit strange.

He gazes longingly at Spock's door for a few moments then turns to his own door. He enters in the code and crosses the threshold into his quarters. He freezes in the middle of the room when he spots his PADD, which he had left in the computer labs, lying on his bed. He spots a note attached to it, which contains very familiar writing. His heart speeds up as he makes his way over to the bed and takes the note in his hand and reads it.

**Dear James,**

**I took it upon myself to return this to you, knowing that you may need it. I hope I have not overstepped my bounds, but I had no other way of getting it to you.**

**Though we do not seem to be on the best of terms at the moment, please be assured that I am always here for you.**

**Sleep well.**

**Yours truly,**

**Spock**

The last three words of the letter has all the blood in Jim's body travelling south and he groans, which echoes loudly in the empty room.

"He's determined to kill me. 'Mine truly' indeed."

**/**

**Next chapter should be up on Sunday.**

**Please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter was fun to write.**

**The Vulcan diplomats beam aboard and Kirk meets a familiar face. Things also happen between Jim and Spock.**

**T'Arrah beta-ed this chapter.**

**Star Trek isn't mine.**

**/**

**/**

Kirk rolls over in his bed and places his pillow over his head, trying to drown out the incessant beeping that is filling his room, but he gives up as he deduces that whoever is calling him doesn't know how to take a hint. He scrambles out of his bed and pads across the darkened room towards the comm unit on the wall.

"Kirk here."

For a second, Jim expects it to be Spock and he stiffens anxiously, but then sags in relief when he hears Pike's voice instead.

"Hi Jim. I know that you are on the roster for Gamma shift in the labs, but I will need you to join me and Spock in the transporter room when the diplomats arrive. As you know it is Starfleet policy that all high ranking officers be present to welcome diplomatic parties aboard. Since HQ has allowed you to keep your ranking, you are required to be part of the welcoming committee. I need you there in 30 minutes"

Jim knows he should be annoyed at the fact that even in his own universe he has to play the 'good captain', but he is actually happy that he gets to be there. He is curious to see who the Ambassador to Earth is since Sarek is dead and he is holding onto a small glimmer of hope that Selik might be among the diplomats, even though his own Selik refused a diplomatic position in his own time.

"Sure, Pike. I'll just clean myself up a bit and meet you there. See you soon."

The call disconnects and quickly races to the bathroom, knowing that he doesn't have a second to waste. He knows he is not allowed to be late for this. Vulcan's hate tardiness.

As Kirk walks into the transporter room, he tries to hold back a chuckle as spots Spock trying to teach Pike the Vulcan salute, with very little success.

"Captain, I believe that you should simply bow to the delegates, because while you have formed many Vulcan hand gestures, all of them are used to insult rather than welcome and I am sure that is not the message you wish to send."

Pike sighs and nods. He looks up from his hands and is the first to see Jim standing near the door way. He waves the younger man over. As Kirk steps over to them, he locks eyes with Spock and can see that the Vulcan is struggling to keep his face neutral. He seems to be winning the struggle, except around his eyes. There is a longing in their brown depth that has Jim turning away to look at Pike, who is the picture of frustration.

"Hey Kirk, have you ever tried to do the Vulcan salute? It is not as easy as it looks."

Jim raises his hand and both Spock and Pike eyes go wide in surprise when his hand forms a perfect Vulcan salute. Pike is the first to snap out of his shock and frowns at the younger captain.

"How the hell did you do that? My fingers feel like pretzels."

Spock is still staring at Kirk, but instead of a shocked expression on his face, he is smiling at Jim as if he had just turned into a big basket of kittens. The look makes Kirk's heart flutter.

He shrugs at Pike before dropping his hand to his sides and stares down at his feet in an effort not to look in Spock's direction, even though it is incredibly hard when the Vulcan is looking at him like he hung the moon.

"I practiced a lot. I wanted to impress Spo... special Vulcan guests."

_'Smooth save there Jimmy boy. Let's hope you managed to fool them.'_

He slowly lifts his gaze to find Chris looking at him with new found respect. He mentally pats himself on the back for obviously fooling the older man, but then soon he the mental patting stops and he is mentally kicking himself instead. Spock is staring at him knowingly and there is a small triumphant smirk on his face.

_'Of course I couldn't fool the man that I need to fool. Fuck my life!'_

_'_The Vulcan goes to take a step closer to the blond, but halts when he hears the officers at the transporter terminal call to them. By the look of annoyance on Spock's face, Jim can tell he is not pleased with the interruption. Kirk on the other hand could kiss the ensign for his excellent timing.

"Sirs, the diplomatic party is ready to be beamed up."

Pick give the man the order and the commanding officers stand and watch as the transporter pad first fills with light and then the forms of ten Vulcan diplomats appear. Before the light has fully faded, one of the Vulcan's has stepped off the pad and is embracing Kirk.

"Jim Kirk, I would know you anywhere. I had believed that I would never see you again. It is reassuring to know that you are still able to prove me wrong."

Jim's rigid frame relaxes as that achingly familiar voice fills his ears and he lifts his arms to encircle the old Vulcan's waist and returns the hug desperately.

"Selik! You don't know how good it is to see you, old friend. You are exactly the same as I left you."

The older version of Spock releases Jim, but keeps his hands on the young man's shoulders, to pull back and allow their eyes to meet.

"Oh Jim, though you are different to how I last saw you, I am pleased nether the less to have you back."

A sound that could not be called anything but a growl, breaks the spell that this old Vulcan has over Jim. His blue eyes scan the room to find everyone silently staring at him and Selik. The Vulcan's are looking at them in thinly veiled disgust, Pike seems confused and Spock is... murderous.

Kirk blushes and quickly jumps away from his (new? old?) friend. Selik doesn't look the least embarrassed as he turns to Captain Pike and gives him a salute.

"I apologize for that emotional display, but as you have most probably gathered, Jim is a friend of mine that I have not seen in many years."

Before Pike can accept the apology, Spock steps closer to his counter part and his eyes narrow.

"You forget yourself, Selik. This is not the man you are acquainted with and when he is on duty you will address him as _Captain _James T. Kirk."

Jim is outraged at Spock's attitude and is about to step in between the two Vulcan's when Pike's voice rings out across the room.

"Commander Spock, that is no way to talk to the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth. Step down, now."

Spock has enough sense to back away with his head bowed, but Jim can tell that Spock is not even a little ashamed of his action.

Pike now turns to address Selik. "Your apologies are unnecessary, Ambassador Selik. I had a similar reaction when meeting Kirk. Welcome aboard the _Enterprise. _I will get Commander Spock to show you to your rooms. If there is anything you need do not hesitate to ask."

Selik glances at Jim from the corner of his eye and then focuses on Chris once more.

"Since you have offered, I would like to ask that, while Spock escort my companions to their quarters, Captain Kirk be allowed to escort me to mine. We have much to discuss."

Spock's panicked eyes turn to Pike and he opens his mouth to object, but Pike lifts a hand to silence him. The older captain bows to the ambassador.

"Of course. He will have to report for duty at the start of Gamma shift, but he is yours until then."

Selik nods in thanks and gives both the captain and XO a Vulcan salute (who does not return it). He starts making his way towards the door. Jim smiles at Pike in gratitude, but it soon fades when his eyes meet Spock's furious gaze. Jim's own gaze drops guiltily and he quickly races out the exit after his friend, afraid that if he stays any longer, he will do something he will regret... like give Spock a hug or something equally unproductive to his plan of distancing himself from said Vulcan.

15 minutes later, Jim finds himself sitting across an exact replica of his own Selik in the Vulcan's guest room. He listens to Selik as he fills in the gaps left by the official reports. From what that older Vulcan tells him, he and Jim's own Selik led identical lives up until they travelled through the wormhole. Kirk can't help but sigh in relief at that because it means he doesn't have to get to know yet another person in this universe, though because his counterpart never survived in this Universe, the old man doesn't actually know who he is.

Kirk scans the Selik's face to see if the Vulcan is at all uncomfortable around him. All he can see is amazement and happiness, tinged with a sadness that Jim has grown used to seeing in his own elderly Vulcan. He is pulled from is observations when a warm hand lands on his wrist, which had been resting near his glass of water.

"I cannot begin to express how pleased I am to see your face again, old friend. After discovering that you were not enrolled in Starfleet in this universe, I obtained your personal files so that I could learn your whereabouts. I was... devastated when I discovered that you had died as an infant."

Kirk opens his mouth to deliver words of comfort to the old Vulcan (and maybe also point out that it wasn't actually him that died), but Selik seems to have guessed what he is planning and shakes his head at the blond.

"I was not upset for myself... well, not only for myself. I was saddened for my counterpart. I was fortunate to spend many years with my Jim Kirk. The Spock of this universe would never get that chance."

Jim pulls his hand away from Selik's and crosses his arms over his chest in a defensive manner, as if the next thing he is about to say will cause him physical pain.

"Spock hasn't missed much and one could even say he has done better without me. He is so much comfortable in his own skin then time Spock back in my time. From what I picked up from my own Vulcan's behaviour, this Spock also had an easier time growing up. Also, he didn't lose his mother, who I know is the most important person in his life. From all that, even I can see that a world without James T. Kirk isn't too bad."

Jim is startled and snaps his head up as he hears Selik chuckle. The Vulcan is staring at him with fond amusement in his eyes. After the shock has worn off, Jim fixes him with a glare.

_'I don't see what is so funny. I was being serious.'_

"Oh Jim, you are as oblivious to the power you have over me, in any form, as you were back in my own time. Yes, this Spock is not at battle with himself as I was at his age and he did indeed gain many fond memories from living on Earth, but he experiences an intense loneliness, a loneliness that I never experienced because I had you in my life."

Shame fills Kirk at the reminder of Spock's isolation and the fact that he has deliberately taken part in that isolation. He is even worse than the people who never tried to be Spock's friend, because he actually showed the Vulcan what it is like to have friendship and then took it away.

_'Thus another reason Spock is better off without me.'_

"You probably didn't notice, what with you hugging me and then stealing me away earlier, but I haven't exactly been a greatest help when it comes to curing Spock's loneliness. If anything, I have made him more miserable."

Selik tilts his head as he studies Kirk and his lips twitch slightly when the young man does everything he can to not meet his eyes.

"I did notice that there was some tension between you and my counterpart. I have every faith that you both will solve that misunderstanding on your own. You are wrong, however, when you state that you are adding to his discomfort. The moment I materialized into the room, I could sense the improvement in my younger selfs emotions. The only thing that has changed in his life since I last saw him, is you, so it is only logical to assume that you are the reason for the change."

Jim lifts his gaze until it is again level with Selik's. The words, filled with such conviction, bring a blush to Kirk's cheeks. He had almost forgotten how much faith this Spock had in him. It is extremely humbling.

A smile begins to tug at the blond's lips as his mind travels to thoughts of the Spock of this ship. An almost overwhelming sense of happiness and pride fills him at the idea that he has been the cause of Spock's improvement.

Jim wipes the smile from his lips when he sees the amusement shining in Selik's eyes and the knowing smirk that is just dying to spread across the old man's face.

"Shut up, old man."

The familiar eyebrow shoots up. "I did not say anything, Jim."

Kirk doesn't buy this innocent routine for a minute. He goes to say as much, but then he spies the clock on the far wall and jumps out of his seat.

"Shit! My shift is starting soon. Sorry Selik, but I gotta go now. I have to go back to my room and pick up my PADD before I head down to the labs. I'll meet up with you tomorrow and we'll play a game of chess, okay?"

Selik slowly rises to his feet and bows as Jim backs towards the door.

"I look forward to it. Enjoy you shift, Jim."

Kirk waves as he opens the door and then he is gone.

As Jim speeds around the last corner that leads to his quarters, his gaze fixes on Spock who is standing in front of his door with his hands behind his back. He slows as he gets closer to the Vulcan and eventually stops when he gets within 10 feet of the dark haired man.

"Ah, hi Spock. I was just coming to get my-"

In front of him, Spock is holding out Kirk's PADD. One of Jim's hands reaches out for the troublesome device, while the other goes to the back of his neck, where he rubs it bashfully.

_'Stupid PADD. Making me look like an idiot.'_

"Thanks, Spock. You shouldn't have to get it for me."

Spock shrugs. "I did not know when you would be finished with Ambassador Selik," Spock's eyes flash in anger when he mentions the other Vulcan, "and I though it wise for me to pick up your PADD in case you didn't get time to retrieve it yourself. It was only logical, but if it makes you uncomfortable that I went into your quarters without your permission, I will cease doing so."

Spock seems to stiffen as he waits for Kirk's response and Jim's heart breaks at the knowledge that the Vulcan is now in constant fear of upsetting him. He pushed Spock away in the hope of sparing his feelings but obviously it is having the opposite affect.

_'It can't be that hard for me to keep our romantic feeling to myself. I did it for over a year in my universe and it just seems like Spock really needs this... the connection.'_

Jim's hand leaves his neck and positions itself on Spock's shoulder.

"It's fine, Spock. It's not like you are going into my room and sniffing my underwear. I trust you. You can go into my room any time you need to."

Jim gives the Vulcan's shoulder a squeeze before letting it slide down the blue clad arm and then dropping it to his side. He catches Spock's (slightly glazed) eyes and jerks his head in the direction of the turbolift.

"Come on, Spock. We better get going or we'll both be late. Maybe after work, we could play a couple of games of chess. "

Kirk walks several feet toward his destination before stopping and turning to find that Spock hasn't moved from his original position. The Vulcan is openly staring at him in disbelief and... hope.

"James? I-"

Jim cuts him off before the Vulcan can say something that will just end up making him fall more in love with the man. He needs to give him the message that all there is only an offer of friendship.

"You know, as friends... In the rec room." _'Where I can't molest you.'_

Instead of disappointed, Spock looks almost elated and that in itself confirms to Jim that he is doing the right thing.

Spock moves to so that he is now standing next to Jim and he gives the human his best re-assuring smile.

"Of course, James. Anything you wish. I am just pleased that I get a chance to be in your company once again."

Jim cheeks redden at Spock's heartfelt words and he internally steals himself against growing the attraction he has for the Vulcan, knowing that he can't let it get the better of him. There is too much at stake if he does.

Kirk nearly jumps out of his skin when Spock's hand encircles his. He goes to raise a (very small) form of protest, but it dies on his tongue as Spock starts pulling him towards the turbolift.

"We only have 7.2 minutes to get to the labs before we are late. We must make haste, James."

As their fingers entwine, Jim decides that he has put too much emphasis on hand holding and that there is no reason for it not to be considered a totally platonic gesture.

Spock's thumb starts caressing the back of Kirk's hand and Jim gulps as a heat begins to build in his abdomen.

_'Yep, totally platonic.'_

**_/_**

**I am sorry, but I am going to have to cut back to one chapter a week. I have more hours at work, I am turtoring students after work and my study workload has increased. I know you guys want more, but I just can't physically give you more, but I promise that you will get one chapter a week.**_  
><em>


	9. Chapter 9

**Jim spends time with other on the ship and with Spock and Selik, but the good times don't last.**

**Thanks to T'Arrah for beta-ing for me.**

**Star Trek isn't mine.**

**/**

**/**

The next several days pass in a pleasant blur for Jim.

He spends first few hours of beta shift hanging out with Selik. They usually play chess, but sometimes they just sit and talk. Selik tells him about what he has been doing in this universe, such as becoming the Vulcan Ambassador for all the Earth colonies. He in turn talks about his life as captain on his _Enterprise. _The one topic Kirk veers away from every time the old Vulcan brings it up, is his relationship with his own Spock. The disappointed expression that covers Selik's face when Kirk changed the subject for the sixth time, has Jim fearing that the Vulcan has guessed that there is no relationship to actually speak of. Jim is thankful that the Ambassador has enough tact not to ask for confirmation or bring it up again after that.

Kirk usually passes the second half of beta shift either practicing his fencing with Sulu, discussing Russian literature with Chekov (or pretty girls), lazing around and chatting with McCoy in Sickbay, teaching Scotty the perfect chicken to mayo ratio for sandwiches or learning Vulcan from Uhura (who doesnt seem to have the same hardness as the woman on his ship. Probably Scotty's influence).

Jim has, on quite a few occasions, invited Gaila to have a coffee with him in the mess hall and gossip like he used to back at the Academy with his own Gaila, but she shoots him down every time with excuses of being busy. Kirk has never know an Orion to be too busy for gossip. She also maintains that distance at work, not physically (that would be impossible seeing as how she sits right next to him), but mentally. Jim will spend most of his shift trying to get her to act more like the girl he met on his first shift and just when he thinks he's has made some headway with a dirty joke or by turning on the charm, this dash of fear will appear in her gaze and she will turn away from him with a reprimand about his work ethic and focus on her screen once more.

Besides his unstable friendship with Gaila, Jim is enjoying his work. Computers have always been a passion for him, but his completely consuming love for Command has always meant that it needed to be pushed to the side. Being in this universe, where he is a Captain without a ship, means that he is allowed to focus on something he hadn't realized he had missed until he was in a position to do it again. It also didn't hurt that he gets to work with Spock. Kirk gets to see a side of the Vulcan that he rarely got to see in his own universe. The side dedicated to science. Sure his own Spock would stand at the science station and spout facts and figures, but the one time Jim had ventured down to the labs, Spock had all but kicked him out, claiming that the science labs would be of little interest to him. This Spock not only allowed Jim to work in the labs, but also seeks him out to ask for opinions or simply inform him of advancements in experiments. This of course just feeds the already powerful feelings he has for the Vulcan.

After work, Jim and Spock always head to the mess hall for a bite to eat and then go down to one of the the more quite rec rooms to play a game (or three) of chess.

Spock will talk about his time on Earth, while Jim told him stories about his misspent youth or his adventures as captain. Sometimes they don't talk at all and Jim wonders at the fact that he felt such peace during those times, instead of the uncomfortableness that would surface when it happens with anyone else.

Spock usually walks him back to his room and, every single time, they draw out their good-byes. Fleeting glances and aborted movements riddle their final moments together and leave Jim hard and aching for the Vulcan that he refuses to take for himself.

Jim's memories of his time on this ship and the mixed emotions that are swirling within him because of said memories dissolve and he comes back to the here and now when his computer beeps at him.

From the corner of his eye he can see that Gaila has her headphones on as she scans all communications for any viruses and gathers that she did not here the alert that sounded from his station.

His eyes fall to his screen and his brow furrows in confusion.

_'There is no maintenance scheduled in engine room C for tonight but someone has logged on. Strange.'_

He starts to become alarmed when he discovers that, while the log on info seems authentic at first glance, it is a total fake on closer inspection. The fear begins to grow when a code that would mess with the matter/anti-matter proportion release program. If that program is even a little bit off then it is only a matter of time before the ship blows up.

Kirk types at his keyboard furiously, hoping to block the intruder before the code can be implemented. It is a close call, but he manages to boot out the hacker before any irreversible damage can be done. Once he has put in place a few more firewalls (and booby traps for good measure) around the engineering computer systems, Jim quickly sends a message to Spock telling him that he has found a security breach.

10 minutes later finds Kirk, Spock, Scotty and a security team searching engine room C for any clues that could lead to the identity of the intruder.

Lieutenant Giotto, who is actually quite friendly in this universe (and is an excellent opponent in pool), steps up to the three senior officers and shrugs.

"I'm sorry sirs, but we found nothing. There is evidence that someone has been down here and used the computers, but whoever it was knew how to cover their tracks. Not a single hair or fingerprint could be found and they managed to utilise every blind-spot for all the security feeds."

Scotty eyes seem crazed as he grabs a hold of the chief security officer and begin dragging him towards the computer consoles.

"You're gonnae show me where they touched my girl and you're gonnae show me now, laddy."

Giotto looks pleadingly over his shoulder at Spock and Kirk, who have identical sympathetic expressions on their faces. Scotty pulls at the larger man a bit more firmly and they both disappear from view.

Kirk turns to Spock to find the Vulcan deep in thought. He his hand in front of unfocused brown eyes. "Kirk to Spock. Come in, Spock."

Green tinted lips quirk into a small smile as Spock spins to look at the blond man to his side.

"I am sorry James for ignoring you, but I was trying to come up with a list of possible suspects who could be responsible for nearly destroying this ship."

Jim stares at him expectantly. "And?"

Spock folds his arms across his chest, which for humans usually means they are frustrated, angry or uncomfortable, but for Spock, simply means he is uncertain about something.

"I have not come up with anything conclusive, but I have a hypothesis. This happened only after the Vulcan diplomatic representatives came aboard and one would have to have advanced knowledge in computer programming to be able to insert the code and be well versed in forensic knowledge to avoid leaving any evidence, so..."

Kirk finishes his thought for him. "You think it's someone working for Selik. You believe a Vulcan just tried to blow us all up."

"James, I do not take pleasure in my conclusion, but you must admit that all evidence so far points to one of my own people."

Jim nods solemnly. "What are you going to do, Spock?"

Spock's hands fall to his and he pulls at the bottom of his tunic, as his back straightens.

"I will need to inform Captain Pike of this development. Will you be able to supervise Mr Scott and security, while I go collect the Captain from his quarters, James?"

Jim gives the Vulcan first officer a reassuring smile and pat on the shoulder that lingers a moment too long.

"I'll be fine, Spock. I'll make sure the kiddies don't misbehave. You go and tell daddy Pike what has happened."

A incredulous, slanted eyebrow goes up, but the affect is negated somewhat by the adoration shining from brown eyes. "You have a very singular sense of humor, James. Though, at times I find it confusing, I have decided that I am quite fond of it."

Spock doesn't allow Jim time to stop gaping and gather his thoughts so that he can reply, and instead turns on his heels and (in Kirk opinion) saunters out of the room.

Jim is still standing there staring at the, now empty, doorway 4 minutes later when Scotty comes bounding back over to him and shoving his PADD into the younger man's chest. Kirk reflectively clutches it to him before it can fall to the floor.

"You did good, laddy. Whoever it was messin' around down didn't do any real damage because of your quick thinkin'."

Jim glances down at the PADD now nestled in his hands and confirms what Scotty has said. The ship is not in danger... at the moment, but that doesn't mean whoever it was won't try again. They will have to take precautions to ensure the ship is secure.

Either Scotty is a mind-reader or Jim is telegraphing his thoughts via his face, because the engineer immediately addresses Kirk's concerns.

"Don't worry lad. Along with your extra computer security, I have organized with Lieutenant Giotto for there to be security personnel stationed in every engine room around the clock until we catch the bugger who tried to hurt my ship."

Kirk automatically goes to correct Scotty and inform him that it is in fact his ship, like he has had to do in the past, but then he remembers that this is not the same Mr Scott and this is not his _Enterprise. _He deflates a little art that reminder.

Scotty must notice the sudden change in Jim because he lays a hand on the blond's shoulder.

"Don't fret, Jim. Even with all this excitement we will nae forget about getting you back home."

Jim goes to assure Scotty that he isn't worried about that, but the man in red just keeps talking.

"We were even making headway with the formula that we thought might get you back to your own universe, but we hit a little snag."

"What kind of snag?"

Mr Scott rubs his hands together, a sure sign that he is anxious. He doesn't answer straight away, which starts to worries Jim because it means that, either Scotty is having trouble understanding the answer, or he doesn't have an answer. Turns out that it's a little of both.

"I don't quite understand it myself. Theoretically the formula should work, but after we send it to the science labs to have it analysed and put into the computers, the same thing always happens when we go test it, no matter how many times we tweak the bastard."

Jim is curious. "What happens?"

Scotty hesitates and Kirk realises it must be bad.

"Our test subjects have sorta... blown up."

Jim's eyes widen comically at this little snippet of information.

"Blown up! As in exploded? How the hell can something explode in the transporter? I've never heard of such a thing happening before!"

Scotty does this weird head movement, which seems to be a mix between nodding and shaking. Jim would laugh if this wasn't so serious. 'Keeping your vital organs on the inside of his body' serious.

"Like I said Cap'n, I don't rightly know how or why it's going wrong. By all accounts, the formula should work, or at the very least, not blow things up, but something keeps going wrong."

A thought starts to niggle a Kirk's brain. He tries to rid himself of it because it's such a terrible thing to accuse someone of, but it won't leave him along. He asks the question that will help confirm his suspicions.

"Who is the one that analyses the formula and inputs into the ship's system?"

Mr Scott is taken back by that unexpected question. "Why, Mr Spock of course. He's the chief science officer of this ship, so anything of this kinda importance needs to go directly to him."

Kirk stumbles back as if he has been hit in the gut. Scotty gazes at him in concern and goes to reach out for the pale captain, but Jim lifts his hands to stop the engineer coming any closer.

"Um... Scotty, are you... are you okay to stay here until Spock and Pike get here? I need to go talk to somebody."

Scotty nods. "Aye lad, but should you really be leaving? You don't look too well. Maybe I should call the doctor."

Kirk plaster his most reassuring smile onto his face, hoping the older man does not notice that it doesn't reach his eyes.

"I'll be fine, Scotty, but I need to go, like right now."

At Mr Scott's acknowledgement, Jim calmly walks out of the engine room, but once he is in the hallway, he breaks into a dead run towards the turbolift.

He is panting by the time he gets to Selik's quarters and begins pounding on the old man's door. It seems like forever to Jim when the door finally slides open and the elder Vulcan is staring at him in puzzlement and concern.

"Jim, what has happened?"

Kirk doesn't answer. He just pushes his way into the room and begins pacing between the bed and desk, while he brushes his hands roughly through his hair.

Selik worry increases as he takes in the state his friend is in.

"You seem extremely agitated, Jim. Please tell me what is troubling you."

Jim stops his pacing and turns to Selik with an almost manic look in his eyes. He points an accusatory finger at the Vulcan, who is startled by the sudden movement.

"You! You are sabotaging the formula that is meant to get me back to my universe!"

Selik's eyes go wide and both eyebrows shoot up at the charge laid against him by the Human. He moves closer to the jittery Kirk trying not to startle him, and takes a gentle hold of the hands that are now pulling at the soft blond hair.

"Jim, I can assure you that I would never do that to you. I would never take away your chance of returning to your world, even if I do not think it is the best coarse of action open to you."

Jim pulls is hands free of Selik's hold and glares at his friend, as he steps back to put some distance between him and the Vulcan.

"You might not do something like that, but apparently your younger self has no scruples when it comes to committing acts of sabotage."

Selik takes a careful step closer to the clearly furious Human, but does not make the mistake of touching him again.

"What are you saying, Jim?"

Suddenly, Jim collapses into the chair next to the desk and buries his face hands. If it weren't for his Vulcan hearing, Selik would have missed Jim garbled words.

"Spock is the reason I am still here."

**/**

**I'm sort of glad I have cut back on my updates because not only is real life kicking my ass at the moment, but I am having a little trouble writing the rest of this story. I know where I want it to go, but getting it down in words is becoming more difficult. Do not fear though, I will still be able to give you a chapter once a week, just pray that my muses don't leave me completely.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Jim finally gets some answers and there is a confrontation.**

**Thank you T'Arrah for beta-ing this for me. All mistakes are still mine.**

**I don't own Star Trek.**

**/**

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It seems like an eternity before Jim lifts his head from his hands to meet the disbelieving gaze of Selik. Kirk watches in a sort of daze as the old Vulcan crouches before him ans gently places his hands on the humans knees.

"Jim, what makes you think Spock is responsible for you still being here?"

Jim wants to be pissed at the fact that the Spock in front of him need him to prove himself when they are meant to be such great friends, but it seems as if all his anger has been burnt out of him for the time being and now he is just... tired. He feels as if he has aged 10 years since he arrived here all those days ago. Trying to desperately hold onto an old life that he is not sure he wants any more, is both physically and mentally exhausting. He heaves a heavy sigh and instead of yelling at Selik, he tells the Vulcan everything Scotty said to him down in Engineering and what he has pieced together on his own. A slight frown begins to mar the Ambassador's face as he listens to the human.

He stands when Kirk is finished and bows in apology.

"I am sorry I doubted you, Jim. Taking into account the evidence you have just presented, there is a 93.2% possibility that my counterpart has indeed taken deliberate actions to ensure that you do not leave this universe."

Jim's eyes begin to water as he hears Selik validate his theory. He did not expect to feel this amount of pain at the affirmation of Spock's betrayal. He almost wishes that the Vulcan elder had told him that he was imagining all this, because then that would mean that the man he thought was different, the one person who has actually proven he liked him for just being himself, hasn't been screwing him over this whole time. Jim gazes up imploringly into brown eyes that he is sure were created by God himself to torment him.

"Why would he do this, Selik? He said he cares about me, so then why would he stop me from going back to where I belong?"

Selik's hand reaches out to caress Jim's almost desperate face, but pulls it back when the blond flinches away.

"I cannot speak with 100% accuracy, but if I were to guess, I would say my younger self has ensured you remain here because he believes you belong with _him_."

Jim scoffs at the elderly Vulcan and his crackpot theory. No one would ever go to such extremes, like sabotage, to keep him around. Also, there is the little thing about him not being from this universe that also puts a dent in Selik's reasoning.

"Either you are delusional for thinking Spock would think that or he is delusional for actually thinking that. Maybe it's both. You are both the same person after all. Maybe I have unintentionally stepped into a universe where all Spock's are as nutty as a fruitcake. "

Selik just shakes his head as the Humans voice rises in volume. Kirk almost seems to have been taken over by a mild hysteria. Selik throws caution to the wind and grabs one of Jim's hands, which is flailing in front of him as if he is trying to physically pull all the answers he needs out of thin air.

"Jim, you must understand, to Spock you are t'hy'la. A Vulcan would do almost anything to ensure that such a treasure never leaves their sight. He is only doing what his blood demands of him."

Kirk is utterly confused now, which really shouldn't surprise him since talking to Selik (from any universe) seems to always create more questions than answers.

"What the hell is a tu-hey'la?"

Despite the circumstances, a smile forms on Selik's lips. It is utterly fascinating to him how Kirk manages to the butcher one of his language's most sacred words in the most adorable way.

"T'hy'la. The most accurate translation is friend, brother... lover. It is similar to what Humans would call a 'soul mate'. It is an extremely rare bond amongst Vulcans. Spock has obviously discovered through his touch telepathy that you are this to him. His perfect mate. He has come to realize that you are the only being in this universe that completes him."

Jim shakes his head with renewed vigor. He is now certain that both of the Spocks in this dimension are crazy.

"One: we aren't lovers. We decided to be just friends. Two: and this is probably the most persuasive argument... I'm not from this fucking universe! Even if I was to believe in this whole 'soul mate' thing, it wouldn't matter because the Jim Kirk that died as a baby is his true t'hy'la, not me. I am just the substitute. The feelings aren't real."

Selik squeeze Jim's hand and then pulls him towards the bed. As they both sit down, Selik can see that Jim is still agitated, but has calmed down a little. He continues to stroke the Human's hand a reassuring (and completely platonic) manner.

"To begin with, if I am to address your first point I must first ask you a question. Did you actually tell Spock that you were only interested in pursuing a friendship with him?"

Jim hesitates for a moment and then glances away.

"Not exactly, but... but it was implied."

Selik tries to hide his grin at Jim stumbled speech. He fails miserably.

"As I thought. He was courting you, Jim. The chess matches, taking meals together, the touching of hands. He was showing you that he wishes to become your mate. He most probably knew that you were hesitant to move beyond friendship, but with no formal agreement made, he believed you to not be totally against the idea and so you were considered 'fair game' as you would say . You are aware that hands are erogenous zones for Vulcans, are you not, Jim?"

Kirk's quick forming blush and 'deer caught in headlights' expression tells Selik that the Human was in fact unaware of that piece of Vulcan trivia. He takes satisfaction in the knowledge that, although Jim is surprised by this information, he is not angry, or worse disgusted. He clears his throat and continues onto the second point.

"Now concerning your second objection, the way in which you have rationalised the t'hy'la bond is inaccurate. What you must understand is that, though we may differ from our counterparts in certain aspects from one universe to another, the one constant is the katra, or as you call it, the soul. It is identical in every universe. You call to Spock, just as this universe's Jim would have if he had survived. To him, you are his t'hy'la, not simply a replacement as you have come to believe. You are Jim Kirk and you are t'hy'la to every Spock that crosses your path."

Kirk waggles a finger at the Vulcan, now completely sure that this is all just a load of bullshit.

"Now if that were true, then why don't you or my universe's Selik feel it or better yet, why doesn't my own Spock feel it?"

"I do feel it, Jim, and so would the Selik of you world. Even now, your mind calls to me like a siren song. I, and I assume the other Selik, have not acted on it because we have already been bonded to our t'hy'la and so our drive for a mate has been sated. For me, being drawn to you now is more to do with comfort than a burning need. My Jim died many years ago and left me with a severed bond that is quite painful. Your presence soothes that pain. On some level I will always wish to bond with you, but I have already been blessed once... I would not take that opportunity away from a version of myself that has never had that blessing. Also, it would not be fair to you. I am an old man and do not have many years left in me."

Jim is a little less sure of himself as he hears this, but there is still one thing Selik has yet to account for.

"Well, how do you explain my Spock. He has touched me plenty of times in the line of duty and he didn't show any sign that he wanted to be more then co-workers. I... I practically threw myself at him trying to get something more happening between us and he rejected me... with ruthless precision."

Selik's brown eyes shine with sympathy as he stares at the dejected man next to him.

"I cannot say why the Spock you know rejected your connection, but what I _can_ say with absolute certainty is that if he made skin to skin contact with you then he felt the bond. I myself denied my feelings for my own captain for many years before I submitted to them. I know that it can be done. He, like myself, is holding onto the belief that for whatever reason, bonding with you is illogical. I learned that I was wrong. If your Spock comes to the same discovery is yet to be seen."

Jim nods his head, not in understanding, but as a gesture to show the old Vulcan that he is trying to understand. There is just so much to take in. He is not sure if he is getting it.

"So you are telling me that I am potentially the ultimate mate to every Spock that crosses my path. And not only that, but I also currently have one Spock, who knows that we are soul mates, but refuses to acknowledge it and another Spock, who knows about the t'hy'la thing and wants it so badly that he willing to stop me from going home at any cost. Oh, and lets not forget that I have two old Spock's that have already bonded with a version of me and are currently using me as a form of pain relief. Have I gotten all that right?"

Selik nods solemnly. "Yes, you have the basic information, but what you must understand is-"

The Ambassador is cut off by a sharp knock at the door. Selik stands and makes his way over to the door and opens it. Pike and Spock are at the threshold. Selik barely manages to offer a greeting before his younger counterpart is pushing past him and goes to stand before Jim, who is still seated on the bed. His eyes travel up and down Kirk's form trying to ascertain his well-being.

"James, I was worried. Mr Scott informed me that you left in a hurry and that you did not seem yourself. Has Selik done something to upset you?"

Jim chuckles humorlessly at the worried Vulcan.

"No, _he _hasn't done anything to me. The reason I left Engineering was because I found out something about someone who I thought was my friend and needed Selik to help me understand _why _they would do it?"

Jim is glaring at Spock, who eyes widen in comprehension. All color drains from the Vulcan's, just as Kirk's face flushes with growing rage. Before Spock or Jim can say anything more to each other though, Pike's voices filters through the room, reminding the two men that they are not alone in the room and that they have probably missed a very important conversation.

"Jim, Spock. Selik and I are going gather up our Vulcan passengers and take them to Conference room A for interrogation. I want you to meet me there, but only after you get whatever _this _is," He waves his hand between his XO and the younger captain, "...sorted out. That's an order."

Pike and Selik disappear out the door, not even giving the two younger men a chance to respond. Both Spock and Jim stand staring at the door for a couple of moments before the blond spins to face the Vulcan. He jabs the surprisingly hard chest with his finger and glares into Spock's stoic face. If anything, that total lack of expression just makes Kirk more furious.

"I know you have been fucking with Scotty's formula that is meant to send me home."

Rather then looking guilty or abashed as Jim was expecting, Spock looks almost proud.

"You deductive skills are quite exemplary, James."

Jim can't stop his jaw from dropping at Spock's casual attitude and total lack of shame when faced with this accusation. It is as if the Vulcan is complimenting him on a particularly impressive chess move, instead of how he was clever enough to figure out his betrayal.

"So you don't deny doing it?"

Shaking his head Spock responds, "Why would I deny actions that are completely logical. I wished to keep you and so I took steps to ensure that you could not travel back to your universe."

Kirk shoves Spock with both hands and the Vulcan, who is unprepared for the sudden attack, stumbles back a few steps.

"You wished to keep me? I am not a stray dog that you can just take home with you and keep as a pet. I have a ship I need to get back to... people that probably miss me. I can't just stay here just because you think I'm your soul mate."

In seconds Spock has stepped into Jim's personal space and grabbed the Human by the upper arms and pulls the cooler body flush against his warmer one.

"I do not think you are my t'hy'la... I know you are, James. I have know since I first touched you. I do not wish to keep you here as my pet. I want you to stay here as my lover, my equal, my mate. You say that there are people in your own universe that _probably_ miss you, and if that is true, I feel for them, but if you leave me, I will not simply miss you... I will perish without you."

Kirk wills his body not to react to Spock's intoxicating presence and tempting words, but it has other plans as he leans up so that his lips are only a hairs breath away from the Vulcan's.

"Don't be over dramatic, Spock. My Spock has managed to live all this time without being bonded to me, I'm sure that you could survive as well. I'm not as special as you believe me to be."

The grip on Jim's arms tighten and he knows that come morning he is going to be sporting some magnificent looking bruises. He ignores the pain so that he may focus on the Vulcan before him, who's head is tilted back slightly so that he can gaze into Kirk's blue eyes. The blond inhales sharply as he notices the rage that has filled the Vulcan's face.

"If I was ever to meet this Spock you speak of, I would surely kill him with my bare hands for what he has done to you. He has rejected you when he should be worshipping you. I do not know how he has managed to endure without you, but please be assured that if I were to lose you, at best; I would die quickly and with hopefully little pain, most likely by my own hand. At worst; I would succumb to madness and and die a slow and agonizing death. My katra is too dependent on yours to survive without it now."

Kirk begins lifting his arms and Spock lets go of him allowing the movement. His hands finally rest on either side of the Vulcan's face and he is pulling him closer until their foreheads meet. Jim sighs brokenly.

"What am I going to do?"

The question is directed more at himself and the cosmos then it is at Spock, but the Vulcan answers him anyway.

"Bond with me. Be my mate."

Green tinged lips meet Kirk's in a hungry kiss and it only takes a beat before Jim is returning it desperately. Hands seem to be moving everywhere at once and yet Jim feels as though he isn't touching enough of the man before him. He can feel himself being led towards the bed and he knows he should put a stop to it, not only because this will only make things harder when they have to separate, but also because this is technically Selik's room and he is pretty sure that the Ambassador wouldn't want them soiling his sheets, but he can't bring himself to care when he has Spock in arms.

His golden tunic is torn from his body and it is soon followed by Spock's blue one. The back of his legs hit the bed. He sits upon it and then reclines back, as Spock crawls on top of him, never once breaking the kiss.

Kirk shivers as the Vulcan's warm hands travel down his torso, to finally land on the fastening of his regulation trousers. He reluctantly pulls away from Spock's addictive lips and gasps for breath. Spock takes this opportunity to caress Jim's jaw and neck with his lips. He bites and licks at the tender skin, which makes the blond buck against his hard body.

Kirk is panting now. His breath gusting over a pointed ear. He can barely hold onto the last of his rational mind to ask Spock the question that needs to be asked before it is too late.

"Are you sure about this, Spock? There is no going back from this once it is done."

Spock plants one last kiss upon the Human's neck before lifting his head to stare into passion filled eyes that mirror his own. A hand slowly works it's way back up Jim's golden body until it is placed against his face. His fingers rest on the blonde's psi points, not yet initiating a meld, but preparing for one.

"Of all the decisions I have made in my life, this is the first one in which I can state with 100% certainty that I have made the correct choice. Being with you could never be wrong, James. Whatever may come, know this; I would never wish to go back to a time when I did not have you, ashayam."

Kirk nods his head once.

"Good enough for me."

He lifts himself up and catches Spock's mouth in another soul searing kiss. The Vulcan's fingers twitch against his t'hy'la's face and then he is opening the connection between their minds.

As two sets of thoughts and feelings weave together to create the golden threads of their bond through the meld, two bodies express their passion for each other by becoming one in a dance that is as old a time.

**/**

**There will be some action and drama in the next chapter.**

**Thank you to everyone that reviewed. You guys keep me writing.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Kirk and AU!Spock are together but don't get a chance to really discuss it because the ship it in danger.**

**I am posting this early because I am busy tomorrow. Thank you to T'Arrah for being a fantastic beta.**

**Star Trek isn't mine.**

**/**

**/**

After Jim slips on his newly replicated tunic, he spins on his heels to gaze at Spock who is sitting on the bed putting on his boots. He can't stop the smile that forms on his face as he remembers what he and Spock got up to in that bed not 10 minutes ago and how he wouldn't mind an encore performance.

Spock glances up at him after zipping up his second boot and quirks an eyebrow at his new bond-mate.

"If we had sufficient time I would be .?docid=24256306menable to repeating our sexual encounter, but I do believe Captain Pike told us to meet him in the conference room when we had 'sorted things out'. We do not want to keep him waiting."

Kirk tries not to look too disappointed by this, but his bottom lip seems to have a mind of it's own as he pouts at his Vulcan lover.

"I don't think we have sorted _everything _out. We shouldn't leave anything unresolved. Ii's not healthy to have things hanging over our head."

Jim suddenly feels a wave of love and adoration flood his mind through his link with Spock. The Vulcan is now standing and gazing at him as if he were the most important man in the world. It takes all of Jim's will power not to melt into a puddle of goo where he stands. He has never felt as loved as he does with Spock... _this_ Spock.

"That is true James, but we will have to find time _after_ we meet with the captain and the Vulcan diplomats. Now let us depart."

Spock takes a hold of Kirk's hand, entwines their fingers and guides the blond towards the door. He lets go once they are in the hall, but the Vulcan's mind continues to caress Jim's so as to not let the man feel as though he is rejecting him. Kirk is about to reassure Spock that he understands the distance when they are in public, (they are on duty and they really shouldn't go around broadcasting it when they haven't truly defined what '_it' _is), but Spock's mental presence is just so addictive and so he holds his tongue. The chuckle that echoes through his head informs him that the Vulcan has figured him out.

Just when Jim is about to tell Spock off for being too clever for his own good, the red alert sounds through the corridor and none other than Selik's voice travels through the ship's speakers.

"A medical and security team is needed in Conference Room A immediately. We have a man down. Repeat, we have a man down."

Spock and Kirk glance at each other quickly and then both take off into a sprint towards the conference room without saying another word.

As they turn the last corner, Kirk is suddenly filled with dread as he spies most of the Vulcan diplomatic party standing near the doorway looking distressed. He knows something really bad must have gone down for these Vulcan's to show their emotions so openly.

Jim spares them a single glance before he is racing into the conference room, with Spock close on his tail.

They enter the room to find two members of the security team dragging an unconscious Vulcan (Selik's junior aide, if Jim isn't mistaken) toward the door. Jim has no time for them though, because he spots McCoy and his medical team frantically working an a prone figure that is just out of his line of sight. As he steps closer, he sees command gold and he feels as if he has had the wind knocked out of him.

_'No, it can't be. Not Pike.'_

Every part of his being wants to rush towards the man that is the only father figure he has ever known (even if this one is technically not the same one that he knows so well) , but he knows he will just be a hindrance to Bones, so instead he steps up to Selik, who is hovering just out of the way of the the medics. The old Vulcan has a worried expression on his face. Jim doesn't need to look to know that Spock is at his side.

"What the hell happened Selik?"

Selik jumps slightly at Jim's harsh tone. Kirk feels a moment of guilt for scaring the obviously upset older Vulcan, but it goes away quickly when he thinks of Chris lying on the ground injured, possibly dying. He needs answers and there is no time for niceties.

"It took myself and Captain Pike quite a bit of time to gather the members of my party and lead them to this room. I explained to them that the captain had a few questions for them and they all appeared accepting of the informal request. All seemed well until we entered this room. Captain Pike waited until we were all inside before turning to initiate the locks. While his back was turned, Skavok, one of my aides, attacked him with a disruptor he had concealed in his robes. I was able to incapacitate him before he could attack again, but the captain was hit."

Kirk head snaps away from the elderly Vulcan suddenly when he hears movement behind him. McCoy and several nurses are lifting, a still unconscious, Pike onto a hover bed and are hurrying him out the door and toward Sickbay. He is about to follow him, but Selik grabs his arm gently to gain back his attention. Jim mentally scolds Spock as a rush of the Vulcan's jealousy floods his mind.

_'This is not the fucking time for you to get all territorial against yourself. I love you, but so help me God, I have no time for possessive shit right now. Pike is hurt and we need to find out why.'_

He locks eyes with his new bond-mate until Spock abashedly nods and then his determined blue eyes meet with Selik's.

"Jim, before Captain Pike lost consciousness, he informed me that he wished for you to take command of the _Enterprise. _The rooms recording devices were operational at the time, so I sent it to the Bridge after the medical team arrived. The crew is aware-."

Jim shakes his head to silence Selik and the old Vulcan releases his hand.

"I really could care less about that right now. We can figure that out later. I just want to work out how this happened. Why would Skavok do this? What does a Vulcan have against this ship and Pike?"

Before Selik can open his mouth to respond, Spock puts forth his own query.

"Elder, you stated that Skavok had a disruptor, did you not?"

The older Vulcan nods in answer. Jim switches his gaze to Spock and gazes at him in confusion.

"So what if he had a disruptor?"

Spock looks thoughtful for a moment before answering.

"It is not a weapon utilized by my people. It is considered too barbaric. It is however the weapon of choice for Klingons and... Romulans."

Jim's eyes widen when he realizes what Spock is saying.

"You're saying that Skavok is a Romulan?"

Kirk's gaze shifts again to land on Selik, who is gesturing in agreement.

"It is possible. Romulans, as you know, can bare a striking resemblance to Vulcan's, so it is possible for one infiltrate a Vulcan community with relative ease. Skavok is the newest member of my staff and he told us little of his life before he arrived on Vulcan three months ago from an Andorian colony in the Beta quadrant. We believed he just required time to overcome the Romulan attack that had destroyed the colony, but now it seems he may have been part of that attack. Our government had no reason to doubt him, because his papers were all in order."

Spock shoots his older self a pointed glare.

"As you are well aware _Selik_, papers can be forged. You should have been more thorough in your checks."

Jim is silent for a couple of seconds to take this all in and then he spins spins around and heads towards the exit. He stops when he hears Spock call to him.

"Where are you going, James?"

Kirk's back straightens and he pulls at the bottom of his shirt before he faces the two Vulcan's in the room.

"To the brig. If we are going to get to the bottom of this, we will need to talk Skavok... or whoever he is. Spock, you're with me and Selik, take the other members of your party back to their quarters and then return to yours. I will comm you if we get any new information."

Spock is now at his side and he is about to resume his journey when he suddenly remembers something.

Selik's eyebrow shoots up when Jim graces him with a small nervous smile.

"Um... I suggest you change your sheets first if you want to take a rest. They're a little... dirty."

Selik is gaping at him (in a very Vulcan like manner of course) as he finally steps out of the room. He can feel Spock's embarrassment and from the corner of his eye, he can see that his lover's cheeks are flushed green. The Vulcan does not address him until they are in the privacy of the Turbo-lift.

"Was that truly necessary, Ashaya?"

Though the situation they find themselves in is dire, Jim can't help but give into temptation and kiss Spock's warm cheek. He shocked to find that the contact actually helps centre him.

"I was being thoughtful. If they roles were reversed, would you want to sleep on a bed where your counterpart and his mate had extremely hot sex on?"

If Kirk didn't know any better he would say that Spock just winced at his question before facing the lift's doors before them.

"Your reasoning is logical and I no longer wish to discuss it."

Jim just scoffs in response.

It is not long before the turbo-lift beeps and the light-hearted moment evaporates. The two commanding officers step out of the lift and into the brig's administration area, where Lieutenant Giotto is waiting for them.

"The prisoner is awake, but he is refusing to speak. I think he is waiting for you, Captain."

Jim nods and gestures for the chief security officer to show them to the holding cell.

The acting captain and first officer step up to the forcefield that is holding the prisoner captive and silently observe him.

The man know as Skavok smirks smugly at them. "Am I to be congratulated? Is the captain of this ship dead?"

All Jim wants to do is disable the forcefield and beat the living crap out of this piece of shit, but he manages to keep his calm... barely. It helps that he has the bond with Spock. His logical mind aides in keeping his temper in check.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but you failed. Pike is still alive and is going to make a full recovery. "

Jim has no idea if that is true or not, but he is not going to give this filth anything to crow about. He decides to dig the knife in, hoping to get the guy mad. He knows from personal experience that people are more likely to spill secrets when angry.

"The people you work for obviously need to take more time teaching their assassins how to shoot. If you are their best then god help them."

Skavok snarls and gets as close to the forcefield as he can without touching it. Jim steps up to meet him in silent challenge. "Insolent Human. You have no idea what the Star Empire is capable of."

Jim Smirks at the enraged prisoner. _'Gotcha!'_

"Well, that answers the question of if you are Romulan or not. Thanks for that."

Skavok is startled by the Human's words and steps back, but he recovers quickly and schools his features into an nonchalant expression.

"It is of no consequence that you know who I am or who is behind the attacks. You are too late. I got a message out. They are coming and they will succeed where I have failed."

Now it is Kirk's turn to look startled as he watches the Romulan spy reach into his robes, pulling out a small pill and placing it in his mouth.

"Giotto, open the cell, open it now and call medical!"

It takes what seems like an eternity for the barrier to fall and when it finally does, Kirk falls to his knees and presses two fingers to the fallen aliens neck. There is no pulse. He can hear the faint buzzing of Spock's tricorder as he scans the alien from above. Kirk knows what the Vulcan is going to say before the words even leaves his mouth.

"He is dead, Captain. He must have ingested a poison of some sort."

Jim nods and then turns to Giotto who is standing by the comm unit waiting for his next orders.

"Cancel the medical team, Lieutenant Giotto. We're no longer in dire need of them. Just tell them to get down here when they can."

The man in red follows the order without question. Jim focuses his attention on Spock, knowing that the security officer can handle himself.

"What do you think he meant by 'they are coming'?" Surely we would have picked up a Romulan ship on the scanners before they could get anywhere near us, right Spock?"

For the second time that day the red alert sounds. However, this time it is Uhura's slightly panicked voice that fills the ship.

"Red Alert. All personnel to battle stations. Captain Kirk and Commander Spock to the Bridge."

Spock grabs Kirk's hand and they both run toward the exit.

"It seems that we will discover the answer to your inquiry sooner rather than later, James."

Jim would laugh if it weren't for the fact that he is pretty damn sure he and the ship have just entered a world of trouble that is most likely going to get worse before it gets better.

Kirk and Spock break numerous speed records as they race to the Bridge. Once they arrive Spock leaves Jim's side to relieve the ensign at the science station, while Kirk makes his way to the command chair and sits down. He eyes the view screen, where it shows a Romulan bird of prey positioned before the _Enterprise._

"Report."

The order echoes through the deadly silent bridge. Sulu is the one that finally answers. He is gazing at Kirk with his back to the helm.

"5 minutes ago, Ensign Chekov began picking up a 'ghost' on the scanners. When Ensign Abbott initiated a detailed scan of the anomaly, it moved to position itself in front of us and became visible."

The captain returns his gaze to the view screen and stares at the green ship in grudging appreciation.

"It's equipped with some sort of cloaking device."

Sulu nods. "Yeah, and a good one at that."

Kirk spins his chair so that it is facing Nyota, who is sitting ram-rod straight at the communications station awaiting her orders.

"Lieutenant Uhura, hail the ship."

"Aye sir."

Silence reigns again as they wait for the enemy ship to answer. Everyone (except Spock and Uhura) jump nearly a foot into the air when the communications officer addresses Jim.

"I have them, Captain."

Kirk straightens in his chair and prepares himself for the confrontation that is going to take place. He wills himself to not think of Nero.

_'This is not the same situation. The enemy is different... He is different. You're not going to lose anyone this time.'_

"Put it on visual."

He spares a glance at Spock, who returns his gaze and is sending reassurance thoughts through their link. Jim mentally thanks him before he steels himself and faces the screen which, at first, contains static, but then soon forms the image of a man that Jim thinks could moonlight as Sarek's doppelgänger. Somewhere in the back of his mind he hears Spock agree that the likeness is uncanny, but he is not paying any real attention. He needs to focus on being a captain right now and not on the fact that his deceased father in-law apparently has Romulan twin roaming around the galaxy.

"I am acting Captain James T. Kirk of the _U.S.S Enterprise. _You have ventured outside of the Neutral Zone, which is considered an act of war against the Federation. If you return now to your side of the Neutral Zone and commit no further acts of aggression against this ship, then we will not have to take this any further."

The Romulan commander smiles unsettlingly at Jim before he responds. "I will not be doing that Captain, because a war is exactly what I am after."

**/**

****Poor Pike. I didn't want to hurt him but it was for the good of the story.****

**All of you wondering if the two Spocks will meet, I can tell you that it will happen, but not for a few chapter.**

****Also, can anyone tell me what TOS episode this Romulan commander is from?****


	12. Chapter 12

**We learn more about the Romulans' plans and Kirk makes plans of his own.**

**Thank you to T'Arrah for being such a great better.**

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For several moments, Jim just stares dumbstruck at the smirking Romulan commander, but he manages to shake himself out his stupor. He can't let this guy think that he has the upper hand in this.

"Okaaay. I can sort of see why the Romulan Empire would want to go to war with the Federation. Starfleet is weak after Nero's attack and the Federation is spending all it's time relocating humans after Earth became un-inhabitable. You actually picked a really good time for an assault. Bravo."

Kirk gives a little clap to emphasize his point. The Romulan on the screen has now stopped smirking and is now frowning in confusion. He was obviously not expecting this reaction.

Kirk begins rubbing his chin in an attempt to attempt to look overly thoughtful, rather than nervous, which is how he is actually feeling. He knows from experience that your can't show any weakness in front of this race.

"What I don't get is why you spent so much time and resources getting a spy onto Vulcan so they could get on board this ship and then send a signal to you so that you could follow us. Wouldn't it have been easier to just attack the closest Star Base? You would have gotten the same results with far less work on your part Commander..."

Jim trails off and eyes the other captain expectantly.

"My name is Keras, Captain. . The answer to you question is simple. It was a matter of pride and psychological warfare. The _U.S.S Enterprise _was the key player in the destruction of our brothers from the future, who were on the Narada. They deserve vengeance and we are here to deliver it."

Jim wants to object. The only thing Nero and his crew deserve is to be brought back to life so that they can be thrown into the sun a second time. However, before he can open his mouth, the Romulan Commander continues his explanation.

"Also, your ship is seen throughout the Federation as their guiding light, their one true hope for a brighter future. Your destruction will be a powerful blow to your fleet's morale. It will not be hard to claim victory once you are out of the way."

Kirk stops himself from showing any sign of surprise (but just barely) when he feels fingers brush against his neck as a hand is placed on the back of his chair. In his peripheral vision he can see that Spock is now beside him.

_'You could have warned me, Spock. You nearly gave me a heart attack.' _

Spock does not remove his gaze from the view screen, but his fingers, which are out of view of everyone, begin to caress his bond-mate's neck.

_'I am sorry, Ashayam. I merely had a question to ask the Commander and I did not realise my hand placement until it was too late to correct it. I can move if you wish me too.'_

Jim responds quickly. _'No! I mean... it's okay if you want to touch me. Just warn me next time so I don't squeal like a little girl in front of the Romulans.'_

_'Agreed, t'hy'la.'_

Jim now returns his full attention to the screen before him and waits for Spock to voice his question to Keras, who is now staring at Spock with a mixture of curiosity and disgust.

"Your explanations for your actions are quite logical, Commander, but what I fail to understand is why you have not yet destroyed us. Why keep us alive,just to tell us that you are going to kill us? As the Earth saying goes, 'actions speak louder than words'."

The Romulan's eyes narrow as his eyes, once again, take in the Vulcan XO.

"You are an unusual Vulcan."

Spock's eyebrow shoots up.

"Indeed, but my nature is not the topic of conversation at this point in time, your intentions are."

Keras snarls at Spock before his gaze shifts back to Kirk. Obviously, Spock's ill-mannered words have pissed off the Commander. Jim can't help but feel proud.

"I have spared your ship for the time being because I need something from you, Captain. You are to come aboard my ship and if you answer my questions in a satisfactory manner then I will allow your crew to leave in the escape shuttles before I blow your ship up. If you do not comply to my demands, then your crew will perish."

Before Jim can agree to the conditions set forth by the Romulan captain, Spock steps forward and a set black eyes snap to his rigid form.

"And what of our captain? What will be his fate once he answers all of your queries?"

The Romulan bows his head solemnly. Jim's heart sinks.

"He will receive a warrior's death. It will be quick and relatively painless."

Jim inwardly scoffs. _'Well as long as it's _relatively _painless. That makes my immanent death so mush more tolerable. What a douche!'_

Kirk inhales deeply before standing from his seat and addressing his opponent.

"I accept your terms. Just give me 30 minutes to get everything sorted out on this end and I will beam over to you guys. How does that sound?"

Commander Keras stares at him with new appreciation.

"It sounds like you are the man I hoped you would be. A true captain, worthy of your title. I look forward to meeting you in the flesh."

Kirk knows he is being rude by not answering in kind, but he is pretty sure that where ever his mother is, she will not be to disappointed that he isn't returning his executioner's sentiment. Instead he just signals for Uhura to cut the connection. He doesn't spare a glance at Spock, who he knows is glaring daggers at him, as he makes his way towards the turbo-lift.

"Uhura, contact Dr McCoy and Mr Scott and tell them there will be a department heads meeting in the main conference room in 5 minutes."

"Aye, sir."

The lift's doors open and Kirk steps in. He turns around to face the bridge. Spock is quickly making his way towards him. Jim panics and presses the 'close' button to his left. He can't deal with Spock right now. He needs to keep his head in the game. He can't give the Vulcan the chance to talk him out of it. The fate of this crew... no, _his_ crew, is on his shoulders.

He hears Spock growl just as the doors slide shut. He closes his eyes as a torrent of fear and anger enter his brain. The fear can easily be claimed as his own, but he is certain that most of the anger is Spock's.

_'You cannot run away forever, James. You are mistaken if you believe we will not be discussing this.'_

Jim slumps against the slumps against the wall. He had forgotten about the bond. It seems it will be a lot harder avoiding Spock than he had originally thought.

_'There is nothing to discuss. I am going and that is final.'_

Spock is silent, but Jim knows that this conversation isn't over. This Spock isn't exactly known for giving up easily, so he would be a fool to think that the Vulcan has done so now.

Kirk steps over to the comm unit on the other wall and types in the code for Selik's room. It only takes a couple of seconds before the old Vulcan answers. Jim doesn't beat around the bush.

"Selik, I need a favour."

Jim seats himself between Scotty and McCoy in the conference room, once all the department heads are present. He avoids making eye contact with Spock, but that doesn't seem to stop the Vulcan staring holes through him. He has managed to block out most of Spock's frustration and anger that is flowing steadily through the bond, but he knows it's there, waiting for the moment when his shields crack.

_'I just need to keep it up until I get aboard the ship and then I'll let him in. It will be too late by then for him to stop me.'_

"Okay first things first. McCoy, how is Captain Pike?"

The older man next to him rubs his hands over his face and sighs deeply.

"Those goddamn disruptor are vicious things. He's spinal cord was severely damaged. It was touch and go for a while there, but he is stable. We have placed him in an induced coma to help with the pain and to give his spine time to heal, but he will most likely never walk again."

Jim releases a small sigh of relief. Pike is alive and he know for a fact that the man will flourish without the use of his legs. He has seem it first hand. He looks around and notes all the saddened faces and realises that these people have not been privy to the same information. He decides to distract them by lightening the mood.

"Well now that we have been updated on the Pike's status, let's move on to more pressing matters and let's do it quickly, because I have less than 25 minutes before I'm expected at a Romulan party. Let's hope they throw a better shindig than the Klingons. Those guys are real downer, must be why they have all them frown lines on their foreheads."

Kirk's attempt at humour falls flat. Uhura staring at him with tear filled eyes, McCoy is scowling and Scotty looks like someone has just eaten his last sandwich (which Kirk did once in his own universe, thus the reason he knows that expression so well). He takes a quick glance at Spock. He should have known that would be a mistake. The Vulcan is practically vibrating with rage. Jim fears he might spontaneously combust if his eyes linger on his bond-mate any longer, so he instead drops his gaze to his PADD in front of him.

"Look guys, I have to go. There is no way out of that, but the good news is that they won't get anything useful out of me since the Starfleet security codes of this universe, which is surely what they want me for, will be entirely different to the ones I know from my universe. They may be able to torture me into giving them codes, but they won't get the _correct_ codes."

Jim lifts his head to discover the occupants of the room staring at him in confusion (except for Spock, who still just looks really pissed). McCoy is the one who finally voices the question everyone is dying to ask.

"If you plan on going then why did you call this meeting? Shouldn't you be preparing the evacuation of the crew and tying up any loose ends?" The doctor pointedly looks over at Spock after his last comment.

Kirk shakes his head. "There is no point in an evacuation yet, because the moment those Romulans have all the information they need, they will kill me, blow up this ship and then they will destroy the shuttles, and it might not be in that order. They won't want any one tipping off the rest of the fleet to their plan. They need the element of surprise for them to win this war, but we are going to be the ones that surprise them. I called this meeting because I have a plan to defeat them and stop this war before it even starts."

That gets the attention of everyone in the room.

"They are overly confident. They don't see us as a threat and I can guarantee you that after I beam aboard, they won't bother raising their deflector shield and that cockiness will be their downfall."

His head turns to the chief engineer that is at his side.

"Scotty, are you capable of beaming a small device, let's say the size of a communicator, aboard the enemy ship without them noticing?"

The Scot takes a moment to think it over before answering. "Aye, I could, but what exactly would I be beaming?"

Instead of responding, Jim turns to face Spock, who has lost most of his rage and now staring at him in curiosity.

"Spock, Do you happen to have any Infernite and Cabrodine in your labs?"

Spock nods. "You wish me to make an explosive device."

It is not a question but Jim decides give him confirmation anyway.

"You catch on quick, Mr Spock. Yes, you are to make an explosive device and give it to Scotty, who will then beam it into the Romulan's engine room."

Spock's eyebrow lifts. "And you? What is to happen to you?"

Jim glances next to him at Mr Scott, who seems to been listening with half an ear as he runs the calculations he will need in his head.

"If you can beam me back before the bomb blows then do it, but your first priority is to protect this ship and this crew. Do I make myself clear, Mr Scott?"

The engineer salutes to the blond.

"Aye, Captain."

Jim claps his hands and stands from his chair.

"Okay, so now that we all know the plan, all we need to do is implement it. Scotty, you are to go get the transporter ready for my departure. Spock, you have very little time to make the explosive device and deliver it to Mr Scott for beaming. I want it sent 15 minutes after I have left. We need them to think we have given up. Uhura, I need you to organise the evacuation list for the shuttles and distribute it. I want everyone to be ready to go and make a run for it if this plan fails."

Kirk spins to McCoy who has also gotten to his feet and is looking at him expectantly.

"Bones, I need you to be all set for my return, because if I make it back you can be sure that I'm going to be hurt... and probably really badly. It is usually how these things go for me. Strangulation seems to be a common theme if that helps any."

McCoy rolls his eyes. "I really shouldn't be surprised. I have known you a little over a week and I have wanted to choke you a few times."

Kirk just shrugs. "What can I say, I bring out the best in people. Now that we all have a duties, let's get to it. Dismissed."

It does not take long for the room to empty and soon the only people left in the conference room are Spock and Jim. The Vulcan is now standing near his seat with his hands clutched behind his back. Jim gives him a puzzled look.

"Spock, we have no time to waste. You need to get down to the labs and start working on that device and then you need to take charge of this ship. What exactly are you waiting for? An engraved invitation?"

Suddenly Spock is in front of him and while Kirk tries to figure out how he missed the Vulcan's movements, Spock takes the blond by the shoulders and pulls him into a desperate kiss.

They are both panting by the time Spock pulls back and buries his face against Kirk's neck. He can feel the Vulcan's warm lips brush his skin as he speaks. "I cannot let you go, James."

Jim wants to just melt into his bond-mate and forget about everything else, but if he does over 400 people (including Spock) will die and he could never live with himself (not matter how small a time that may be) if he allowed that to happen.

"Ashaya, you know I have to go. I need to buy you and Mr Scott some time. I promise to do everything I can to to get back to you, but I need to do this."

Spock lips press more urgently against Jim's neck and he feels, more than hears what the Vulcan says next.

"That is unacceptable."

Kirk knows what Spock is planning even before the warm hand on his shoulder begins creeping up towards his neck.

_'Wasn't really a fan of the neck thing the first time, so it's definitely not happening a second time.'_

Jim pulls the phaser from his belt and presses it against the Vulcan's abdomen. He had retrieved the phaser from his quarters before this meeting knowing that he would probably have to use it against Spock. He had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but he is now glad he came prepared.

Spock's hand freezes just before it reaches it's destination as he becomes aware of the phaser pressed to his stomach. He lifts his head from the Human's shoulder and gazes pleadingly at his bond-mate.

"Please James, do not go. I fear that if you do, you will not return."

Jim gives him a cocky smile.

"I'll just have to prove you wrong then."

A sudden flash of rebellious determination enters Spock's eyes and his hand is moving again. He is fast, but Kirk is faster. A flash of blue fills the room as he pulls the trigger and then Jim is catching his Vulcan mate before he slumps to the floor. He gently lays him down on the carpeted surface and then makes his way over to the door.

It swishes open and Selik is waiting on the other side.

"Thanks for coming. I was hoping I wouldn't need you, but he just wouldn't let me go."

Selik bows his head in sympathy for both Kirk and Spock. He knows it must have been difficult for Jim to attack Spock so that he could complete his mission, but he can also understand the feelings behind his counterpart's actions. If he knew his t'hy'la was going to his death, he would do all he could to stop him too. The only reason he is not doing that now is because he has spent enough time in the presence of James T. Kirk to know that this will not be the death of him. He will find a way out of it. That, he knows is a universal constant.

"Give me three minutes, so that I can get down to the transporter room and then wake him up. Escort him down with to the labs and help him with the bomb. Tell him..."

Jim trails off as he tries to think of a meaningful and poignant message for Selik to deliver to Spock, but he realises that everything he comes up with sounds too much like 'goodbye'. This is not goodbye. He _is_ coming back.

Selik is still standing there patiently waiting for Kirk to continue. He doesn't leave the Vulcan waiting long.

"Actually, forget it. I'll just tell him when I come back."

The two men smile at each other, not in happiness, but in understanding. After the moment has passed, Kirk walks determinedly out the door. He is gone, leaving Selik alone with his unconscious younger self.

"Good luck, Jim."

**/**

**Can** **anyone see what I did with the Romulan Commander's name?**

**Next chapter will be up on Sunday as a special treat.**


	13. Chapter 13

**This is a belated K/S day treat for you all, especially those who guessed that Keras name is Sarek backwards. Hope you like it.  
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**We find out what happens to Kirk on the Romulan ship and we see what Spock and Selik are doing to ensure that Jim comes back.**

**Star Trek isn't mine**

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With five minutes to spare, Kirk hurries into the transporter room and quickly steps up onto the pad. He turns to Scotty who is at the controls and is looking at him like he is mad.

"Where's the fire, laddy? Normally people be running _from _Romulans, not _to _them."

Jim glances over at the door before his eyes once again settle on the engineer.

"Don't want to keep them waiting, is all. Romulans don't seem like the kind of people that tolerate tardiness. Better to be early than late. So, can we get this show on the road or do you need more time?"

Mr Scott shakes his head as he starts pressing some of the buttons in front of him.

"Everything is set, Captain. On your order."

Jim reaches behind him to pull the phaser from his belt and throws it to ground, knowing that it will do him little good if he is caught with it on the Romulan ship and Keras seems like the kind of guy who will check for weapons the moment he is beamed aboard. Let the bastards think they have him at their mercy.

Kirk gives the man in red a small nod. "Blow them back to hell, and if you can manage it, get me out the fuck out of there before you do, Scotty. Energise."

As beams of light begin to swirl around him, Jim catches a scurry of movement near the entrance and he turns his head just in time to see Spock, followed closely by Selik, rush into the room. The younger Vulcan is reaching out for him, but Kirk knows that he will be too late. He decides now is as good a time as any to drop his shields blocking their bond. His mind is instantly overwhelmed with Spock's fear and it takes all his will power not to jump off the platform and abate his bond-mate's worries. Even if he could do that without getting them blown up by pissed off Romulans, it's too late now. The transporter has him in it's grip. There is no way to be free of it when it has progressed this far.

Just before he disappears, Jim's mental hands stretch out for Spock's mind.

_'Love you, t'hy'la. Never forget that.'_

As his body materializes on the transporter pad of the enemy ship, Kirk visibly winces as the echo of Spock's agonized howl bounces around his psyche. It only takes him a moment to get one of his patented cocky expressions in place as two Romulan brutes drag him down from the pad he is standing on and quickly, but thoroughly search him. He gives one of the two angry looking aliens a sly smile and a wink.

"So where's the party at boys? I was promised a good time."

* * *

><p>Spock is still staring at the, now empty, transporter platform as he gets pulled out of the room by his older self, who has a strong hold of his wrist. He searches for Kirk within his head, but the only feedback he gets from the link is a pleasant warmth that tells him that the bond is still alive. He is releaved that he is able to still sense his bond-mate and yet he can't help but feel angry at the fact that they are not longer together. He finally gets free of Selik's grasp and turns around when he nearly trips over his own feet. In no time at all he is matching the older Vulcan's stride. His eyes narrow at his other self as they continue to make their way down to the labs.<p>

"You knew what he planned to do and you did nothing to stop him. He will be killed."

They make it into the lab and after Selik shuts the door, he turns to his younger self with a soft, sympathetic eyes.

"One thing I have learned about Jim Kirk is that he can beat the odds. Even though your bond-mate is different to mine, I have found that the fundamentals that make up James Tiberius Kirk to be nearly identical. You nust have faith in your t'hy'la."

Spock, who has been searching the shelves for the ingredients he'll need to make the explosive device, spins angrily on his heels and glowers at the Ambassador.

"That is easy for you to say, you had many years with your bond-mate before you lost him. I have have been bonded to my James for less than a day. No matter how much I wish to believe that he will make it out of this situation alive, I am still all too aware of the likelihood of him surviving his encounter with the Romulans. Is it so wrong that I wished to keep him with me, so that we could spend out last moments together?"

Selik walks up to Spock and grabs the Infernite and Cabrodine that were right in front of the younger Vulcan the whole time. He steps over to the desk and gestures for Spock to join him.

"It is not wrong to wish to be with your mate when you believe that death is a very real possibility, but you must understand that trying to stop Jim from saving his ship and crew is as impossible as trying to stop planets from spinning or suns from shinning. He was never going to let you hold him back, especially when he knows that his actions will protect you."

Spock sighs as he lifts his communicator from his belt and begins to meticulously pull it apart.

"I do know and it only makes me love him more. It is quite infuriating."

Selik chuckles as his gaze drops from the young Vulcan and he starts measuring out the ingredients that will be needed.

"Indeed."

* * *

><p>Kirk is unceremoniously shoved into what looks like a less fancy version of the brig back on the <em>Enterprise. <em>He is surprised that this ship even has a brig. Romulans are not exactly known for taking prisoners.

He lays down himself on his slab for unmeasurable amount of time and just lets his mind wander. He tries to touch Spock's mind through their link, but it seems they are too far apart for them to share each others thoughts. All he can feel is a warm buzzing just at the edge of his consciousness that tells him that Spock is still alive and still connected to him. He was hoping for more but it's enough.

Jim jumps to his feet when he hears the forcefield around his cell get deactivated. He isn't fool enough to make a break for it, but he takes a battle stance and watches as Commander Keras, who is flanked by two security officers, enter.

The Romulan captain's eyes sweep over the Humans form in a clinical way until his black eyes meet blue ones.

"I expected you to be taller, Captain Kirk."

Jim shrugs. "I get that a lot. I was a preemie."

Keras' eyebrow goes up and he grins at the blond before him.

"You are entertaining, Captain. That is a rare quality to find within an officer who also shows incredible bravery. It is a shame that we must be enemies, when it is so clear that we could have been comrades in arms if circumstances had been different."

Jim inwardly scoffs. _'Yeah, a real shame. Dickhead'_

He, of course, does not voice any of this and instead simply bows his head in agreement.

"Now Captain, I'm afraid that with all the pleasantries out of the way, we must move on to more unpleasant activities."

Keras waves his hand in the air and the two Romulans at his side advance on Kirk. He doesn't fight them as they grab him, because if they kill him now, they might discover the bomb before it can do its job. Also, he promised he would get back to Spock. He can handle a little torture.

The Romulans bind his hands behind his back and one of them grabs him by his hair and pulls at it roughly. The Romulan commander is no longer in his sight since he is now being forced to stare up at the ceiling, but he can hear the man step closer to him.

"I will not lie Captain, this is going to be extremely painful."

"Jim can feel a pressure against his lower ribs and tries to recoil when a blade slides its way through his flesh. The knife twists and Kirk screams in agony.

"Please Captain, tell me the Starfleet security codes."

* * *

><p>Spock stumbles as he and Selik make their way into the transporter room, where Scotty is anxiously waiting for them to give him the device. He is stabilised by the steady hand of the Ambassador on his arm.<p>

"Is it Jim? Has something happened?"

Spock shakes his head, not as an answer, but to clear his mind.

"I... I do not know. The bond that I share with James feels has through it is on fire. There is pain. It is bearable... for me at least, but it is increasing in intensity."

Selik hands the explosive device over to the engineer and allows him to go about setting up the process for beaming it over to the Romulan ship. He grabs his younger counterpart by the shoulders and shakes him slightly, making sure he has the Vulcan's full attention.

"The burning means that your bond-mate is in pain. It will grow as his pain grows. It is fortunate that you have been separated or else you would feel everything he feels and be incapacitated by it. I also believe that Jim's natural mental defences may be protecting you from the full force of his pain."

Spock is staring at Selik in hopeless desperation and makes an attempt to free himself from the older Vulcan's grip.

"Why tell me this, knowing that I am unable to help him? Are you trying to punish me?"

Selik shakes his head. "No, I am trying to give you hope. As long as you feel that burning, it means that Jim is still alive. It is when you feel nothing that you must worry."

Selik lets go of Spock and moves towards the transporter platform where Scotty is just now placing the device on one of the pads. He crouches down and presses a few buttons on the modified communicator and then stands again to face Mr Scott.

"I have given us six minute until detonation. Any longer and the chances of it being discovered and defused will greatly increase. Will that be enough time for you to track down Captain Kirk and beam him aboard?"

Scotty has his head down, as he inputs the co-ordinates needed to place the explosive device as close to the warp drives as he can.

"Aye, that should be more than enough time. Now step back, it's time to deliver our little present."

Selik moves back to stand by Spock's side and the two Vulcan's watch as the bomb disappears in a whirl of light. They both turn to the man in red and wait as he tries to get a fix on the captain. They both step forward in concern when Scotty's calm face turns to one of panic.

"Ah, we may have a wee bit of a problem here."

Spock speeds around the console to look for himself at the scanners. His face falls as he makes sense of the information on the computer screen. He lifts his head to lock eyes with a concerned Selik.

"There is interference coming from the Romulan ship. We cannot get a lock on James."

Selik joins them behind the transporter control terminal and begins frantically typing instructions into the computer system. It only takes a moment for Mr Scott and Spock to catch on to what he is doing and join in.

"We must boost the power of the scanners and break through the interference that is most likely being caused by their cloaking device. It should not take very long."

Spock glances at him, while his fingers continues to fly over the keyboard.

"Will it be enough?"

The old Vulcan's eyes turn hard with determination as he moves over to the screen next to him to scan the current readouts.

"It will have to be. We will make it enough."

* * *

><p>Jim slumps forward, only being held upright by the harsh grip of the Romulan flunkies on either side of him. He lifts his head just enough to see Keras place the taser weapon back into his belt. Kirk lets out a little sigh of relief. The electric shocks had hurt like hell. Much worse than the chocking or the burning, but must admit that the knife still wedged between his ribs is what hurts the most. Probably because there has been no release from that pain.<p>

Kirk flinches away somewhat when the Romulan commander takes a step closer to him, but halts his movements when the knife in his side shift, causing a sudden burst of pain to shoot through his body.

_'Note to self: Don't move a fucking muscle. Pain is not out friend, so stop inviting it to dinner.'_

Jim closes his eyes when he sees the Romulan captain raise his hand. He waits for the pain of a slap or a punch, but it never comes. Instead, he feels a soft pat on his head. His eyes shoot open and his gazes into those of his enemy. There is a grudging respect within those black pools.

"You are truly a great warrior. Many of my own men would not have been able to hold out against the torture you have been subjected to and yet you have not told us anything of value."

Kirk gives Keras a indignant look.

"What are you talking about? That microwavable chocolate cake recipe is worth it's weight in gold. Nothing of value, psh."

The Commander shakes his head and chuckles, but when his eyes once again meet Kirk's, the blond can see that they are filled with regret.

"It has become clear that you will not give us the information we desire, so I am left no other choice but to kill you. Do not worry, it will be a quick and honourable death. A soldier's death."

Jim huffs out a small chuckle.

"Gee, thanks."

Just before the Romulan at his pushes his head down, Kirk gets a glimpse of the sword that Keras pulls from his belt. He wants to struggle but he knows that it is useless. He is as good as dead. He can hear the sword as it is lifted in the air and he waits for it to drop. It never does, instead an alarm sounds. Jim can see from his view of the floor that the Romulan captain is now walking away from him and over to the far wall.

"Commander Keras here. What is the problem?"

There is static for a moment and then a deep (and to Kirk's ears, slightly worried) voice blares from the small speakers.

"**Commander, our scanners have picked up a device of unknown origin within our engine room. We have sent men to investigate, but they have yet to discover it's whereabouts."**

There is silence for a few seconds and then Keras finally responds.

"I will send the men that are with me to help with the search and when I am finished with our captive, I will return to the bridge and we will deal with that ship. I have little doubt that it was them that sent it. How foolish the desperate are."

Not long after Keras has finished speaking, Kirk is dropped to the floor by the two Romulan guards. He watches from his prone position on the ground as the two sets of feet march out the room without a single word spoken.

The Romulan commander stares at him from his place near the wall.

"What have your men been doing while you have been gone, Captain Kirk? Surely they know that by acting against us means their certain death?"

Kirk doesn't answer the commander. He is too focused on the sensation that he has experienced many times before. He is about to be enclosed in a transporter beam. Sure enough, after this realisation hits him, he is surrounded by bright white lights. He starts laughing, ignoring the pain it causes his side. He frees his hand from underneath his body, lifts it to where he is sure that the surprised Romulan can see it and then flips him the bird. Just as he disappears, he sees flames burst into the room and engulf a screaming Keras. Jim can't seem to muster up any sympathy.

_'Good riddance.'_

The next thing Kirk is aware of is that he is back on the _Enterprise_, but something's wrong. All the pain that he had to deal with on the enemy ship was nothing compared to the agony now pulsing through his head. It's the bond. It's not broken, but it feels as if a lead door has been slammed shut on it. He tries to pull at the imaginary door with his mind but it won't budge, so he goes to touch the bond and tries to sooth it. He cries out in torment.

Hands are on him. First his body and then his face.

"Come on, Jim. Calm down and open your eyes. Tell me where it hurts."

Jim knows that voice. He opens his to find McCoy staring down at him. Something is different about him though. Of there own accord, Kirk's eyes begin to search the room frantically. It's the ship but something is off. His eyes still when they land on Spock, who has just entered the room. His whole body relaxes at the sight, but it soon tenses again when he tries to reach for his bond-mate and gets noting but a very faint sense of warmth, but nothing near to what _his _Spock would radiate.

"You aren't him."

His voice is nothing but a whisper, but by the raised eyebrow and confused tilt of the head, it is obvious that Spock has heard him.

Another ripple of pain travels through the bond in Jim's head and his is blinded by it. His hands scramble for purchase and eventual take a hold of the blue tunic of his best friend, who is still hovering above him. He looks up into the troubled eyes of the doctor and pleads with his own.

"What can I do, Jim? Tell me how to stop the pain."

Kirk's whole body tenses and he arches up as a fire burns throughout him, making him feel as though his insides have turned to ash.

"Send me back. Send me back to him."

It is an almost voiceless plea and the last thing his says before his body takes pity on him and he succumbs to darkness.

**/**

**I won't be updating again until next Friday. The next chapter will be exciting and it might shed some light on a few things.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Kirk is back on his own ship with a Spock that doesn't love him. ANGST (but it doesn't last too long.)**

**This chapter is very dialogue heavy, but you will see that there was no reall way around that.**

**Thanks to T'Arrah for her beta-ing skills and support.**

**I don't own Star Trek**

**/**

**/**

Kirk comes slowly back to consciousness to the sound of the beeps of his biobed and the hushed voices of McCoy and Spock. The pain is still there, but it is dulled by the meds Bones has him on and the calming presence of Spock. He goes to speak, but he can't seem to move his mouth. His eyes also refuse to open. He wonders if it is because of the medication or maybe it's a side-effect of the damaged bond. It doesn't really seem to matter because no matter what the cause, he is still unable to move. Since he has no choice to but to lay here, he might as well listen to see if he can find out what's going on. As he concentrates, the voices of the two men become clearer.

"Doctor, I only came down here to discover the Captain's condition, not get into an argument with you. Now that I know that he is in a satisfactory condition, I will return to my duties."

"I said stable condition, not satisfactory, you insensitive, green-blooded hobgoblin! How could anyone be 'satisfactory' after being stabbed, strangled, burned and electrocuted? Not to mention that something is going on in side his brain is causing him extreme amounts of pain. He is burning through the morphine like it's sugar water and the only relief he seems to get is when you are in the room. If you have any duties at the moment it is to help your captain."

Jim fears that they have left the room since the silence that follows stretches out for so long, but then Spock speaks.

"What would you have me do, Doctor? I am not a physician."

"Yeah, but you are a Vulcan and from what old man Selik told me after I described Jim's symptoms, the most likely cause is some sort of Vulcan mind voodoo. A mind-meld gone wrong, I think he said. You could use your telepathy on him and find out for sure."

"I am not a mind healer. It is best that we wait until we arrive on New Vulcan and allow professionals to treat the Captain."

Kirk is startled when he hears what he believes to be a bottle, smash against the wall.

"He's in pain, goddammit! And the pain is only getting worse. It will take us a week to reach New Vulcan even at maximum warp and by then he will have suffered irreversible brain damage. The human mid just can't deal with that sort of constant pressure. Just help him, Spock."

Jim inwardly holds his breath as he waits for Spock's response.

"I... I cannot. I might inadvertently do more harm than good. We must simply hope that the Captain will defy the odds like he has done in the past."

McCoy sighs. "Well, could you at least stay for a while? Like I said before, he is better when you're around."

"I am afraid not. Even if I were not on duty, for which I am, I am a newly wed and it is customary that my time be spent with my wife."

Kirk knew about this of course. Spock and Nyota had come to him themselves and told him that they were planning to get married when they arrived on Star Base 4. Uhura had seemed giddy, while Spock had appeared almost... regretful. He had refused to acknowledge his own feelings on the matter and had instead given them his blessing. He then proceeded to get blind drunk with Bones.

It is strange, because knowing that they would be married by the time he got back doesn't stop the feeling that someone has just placed his heart through a paper shredder. He has lost his bond-mate and now the only other man that could possibly fill that void is happily married and wants nothing to do with him, even when he is unreponsive.

"For fuck's sake Spock, I think that Nyota will let you off the hook for this. You are easing his discomfort, not sitting around watching football and downing a few cold ones."

Jim can hear someone moving away from him and from the increase in pain throughout his body, he is willing to bet that it is Spock.

"I am sorry, Doctor, but it is impossible. Now, if you will excuse me."

Kirk knows the exact moment when Spock exits the sickbay, because it is that moment when the white hot agony returns. The sensors above his biobed go crazy and McCoy rushes over to him and screams for help. "Chapel. I need more morphine right now. It's okay Jim. I'll fix this, just don't give up. Please don't give up."

Jim has lost all sense of what is going on around him. The only thing he can focus on besides the pain is one name: Spock. He is chanting it over and over again like a prayer with the hope that if he says it enough times, the man will magically appear by his side.

There is a sharp jab to his neck that he recognises as a hypospray injection and then sleep once again takes him.

* * *

><p>The next time Jim wakes, he can feel that someone is grasping his hand. At first he believes it to be Spock because the familiar warmth of his presence is once again blanketing his mind and muting the pain, but the fingers are too slight, too feminine. It can't be him.<p>

"I don't understand why you are so unwilling to help, Spock. I'm not his biggest fan, not by a long shot, but even I can't bare to see him in this amount of pain."

It is Uhura. She is the one caressing his hand. Jim doesn't know what he should think about that. This Nyota has always been so cold towards him, but he has been witness to her softer side on a few occasions. Maybe he is just overdue for some of that sweetness to be sent his way. Too bad he can't show her that he is aware and thankful for her kindness. She may not be Spock, but comfort is still comfort.

"You do not now what you ask of me, Nyota."

"Look, I know that melds are...intimate to your people. God, we haven't even melded and I'm married to you, but surely you can't deny Kirk this, knowing how much he is suffering. McCoy truly believes that you can help him and I won't mind if you do it."

Uhura squeezes Jim's hand as if ensuring that he is still actually there and then the pressure lessens, but doesn't disappear.

"Nyota, you are my wife and very soon you will be my bond-mate. I respect your opinion, but that does not mean that I must agree with it. Out of Doctor McCoy and myself, it is I that has a far deeper knowledge of Vulcan mind-melds and I do not believe it would be... logical to meld with the Captain. It would be best if we wait until a certified mind healer can diagnose and treat him."

Jim can feel tears slip past his closed eyelids.

_'Am I that disgusting to him that he is not even willing to meld with me to save my life?'_

"You must understand, he is my captain, nothing more. It is not my duty to heal him. My duty is to this ship, to it's crew and now to you as my wife. We must put our faith in our CMO and the medical team that is awaiting us on New Vulcan. There is nothing else I can do, Nyota."

The hand is gone and Jim can hear the shuffle of feet. They must be getting ready to leave. He doesn't really care though because he is to busy trying to stop his soul from collapsing in on itself. The tears are still streaming down his face, unnoticed by the two other people in the room.

_'If they won't send me back to my mate, then they might as well let me die. Listening to Spock reject me in a million different ways is the worst form of torture anyone could inflict upon me. I just want it to stop hurting.'_

The pain is back, which means that Spock is gone. It is even worse than before, as if Spock constant spurn is actually feeding it. Jim's body start to convulse. Uhura's hand is once again surrounding his and her panicked voice fills the room, which is quickly followed by the medical alert alarm.

"Oh my god, Kirk! Someone please help!"

It is not long before McCoy rushes in, followed by a group of nurses.

"What the hell happened? His reading are all over the goddamn place."

Uhura's hand disappear, only to be replaced by multiple hands as they hold Jim's flailing body down to the bed.

"I.. I don't know. I was talking to Spock and a few moments after he left, Kirk started seizing."

Kirk's body calms after Bones gives him a set of hypos and the medical alarms stop blaring. His whole body is still hurting, but he is almost accustom to it now. However, it does not stop him wishing for the end.

"Tell your goddamn husband to stay the fuck away from Jim. He is obviously still not willing to help him and every time he leaves after one of his visits, Jim always seems to get worse. If I didn't know any better, I would say that the green-blooded hobgoblin is killing him."

"That's not fair, Leonard. Spock is just-"

Another sharp sting to the neck and Jim knows that he is seconds away from falling to sleep, if the the way McCoy's voice is beginning to sound distant is any indication.

"Save it, Nyota. I don't give a shit about Spock motivations or justifications. All I care about is getting Jim better and if that means keeping the walking computer out of my sickbay, then so be it."

Kirk wonders if he should be pissed or thankful to Bones. He is under before he can come to a decision.

* * *

><p>Jim once again is roused from his sleep, but this time by a warm pressure at his side. He is so busy snuggling into that warmth that it takes him a moment to notice two important things. The biobed had been switched off and more importantly, he feel no pain. His eyes shoot open as he makes that realization. He is also shocked to discover that with the pain gone, he now has control over his body.<p>

_'I can move! Thank fuck for that!'_

Kirk glances about the room, which is now dark and it's only source of light coming from some medical machinery by one of the far walls. He turns his head to investigate what is nestled against him and he comes face to face with Spock. He knows immediately that it is _his _Spock.

"Hello, t'hy'la."

Spock's voice is barely above a whisper, but Jim is sure that it echoes through the silent room. He holds his gaze on his bond-mate for a few beats before he chuckles. Spock is now staring at him as though he has gone mad.

"Oh, I get it. I'm dead and this is heaven."

Spock's eyebrow goes up and his frowns slightly.

"I did not realise that your idea of heaven was to lay injured in Sickbay. I was always led to believe that heaven was meant to be pleasurable."

Now that he thinks about it, Kirk can feel the slight ache at his side where he was stabbed and the tenderness around his throat from where he was strangled. He is pretty sure that if he was dead, all those aches injuries would cease to bother him. That means that Spock is really there with him... in his universe... in his bed. It is the last thought that has him rolling over on his side, ignoring the pain that action causes, and smiling ecstatically at the Vulcan.

"You're really here."

He has barely gotten the words out before he is pulling Spock into a desperate kiss. The contact causes the bond Kirk's head to hum in delight. He moans against his lover's warm lips.

_'I can't believe you came for me.'_

As they continue to kiss, one of Spock's hands begins brushing through Jim's blond hair, while the other is laid gently on the Human's hip.

_'I will always come for you. You are my mate and where you go, I must follow.'_

They both slowly pull away, just far enough so they can get their breath back. Jim is still panting as he rests his forehead against Spock's.

"How did you know? How did you do it? How did you get here?"

Spock presses a light kiss against Kirk's nose and smiles at the rush of questions that leave his mate's beautiful mouth.

"You plan worked. The Romulan ship was destroyed, but we were unable to transport you back on board. At first, I thought that you had died. The pain I felt backed up this hypothosis, but when I investigated further, I discovered that the bond was still whole, which meant you were still alive. I asked ensign Chekov to review our scans of the enemy ship seconds during the explosion and he discovered that you were transported out."

Jim nods, showing that he is following so far.

I came to the realisation that if the Mr Scott of our universe had come up with a way to _send_ you back, then it was probably that his counterpart in your universe had come up with a way to _bring_ you back."

Jim is now staring at Spock with a look of confusion. "Okay, you guys figured out what happened to me, but that doesn't explain how you are here."

Spock's lips turn up in a sly grin.

"As you remember, it was I that made sure that Mr Scott's formula to send you back never succeeded. I simply stopped sabotaging it and used it on myself. As you can see, it worked."

Jim wraps his arm around the smug Vulcan's neck and lays back down on his back. Spock has his hands pressed against the matress on either side of Kirk and is looking down upon him with pure adoration. Jim gently pulls at Spock's neck so that their lips brush.

"Impressive, but what is even more impressive is that you were able to do _anything_ while our bond was blocked. I couldn't even move because the pain was so intense. It was like my brain shut down all none essential functions just so I could keep breathing."

Spock frowns apologetically. "That is essentially what it did. You are psi-null, James. Your brain had no other way of coping with the pain except by shutting itself down. I also experienced immense pain while separated from you, but I was able to compartmentalise it through practices I learned when undergoing my telepathic training and I functioned resonably well because of that."

Kirk smiles fondly at his lover. "My little trouper."

Spock's face scrunches in mock disgust.

"I am by no means lit-"

Kirk cuts him off with another kiss. He closes his eyes and tries to savor the sensation. He wants to drown in this man above him. However, he doesn't get the chance because Spock's lips have left his and quite suddenly, too. Jim goes to object, but when he opens his eyes he is nearly blinded by the bright light that fills the room.

_'When did the lights come on? Are they on a timer?'_

His eyes soon adjust and he looks above him to find Spock glaring angrily over his shoulder. Kirk pushes up onto his elbows and gazes over into the direction Spock is focused on. To say that he is surprised is an understatement when he spots the Spock of this universe standing at the door with a phaser aimed at the Spock on top of him. He looks like he did all those long months ago on the bridge when he nearly killed Jim with his own bare hands. He is furious.

"Get off my captain right this minute, or I'll be forced to shoot you."

Spock turns to give one last small kiss on Kirk's lips and then climbs off the bed. Jim takes this opportunity to sit up more fully against the pillows that are piled near the wall, only wincing once when his stitches pull. His gaze bounces between the two Spock's. Their physical appearances are identical in every way, yet it is extremely easy to tell them apart. The bond helps, but even if he wasn't bonded to one of the Spocks, he would still be able to see the difference between the two. The Vulcan he is bonded to is standing with his hands by his side and his hip slightly cocked. He has a small, cocky smirk on his lips (the one that Kirk has come to know very well). He is letting his human side shine through and is not the least bit ashamed of that. On the other hand, the first officer of this ship is standing ram-rod straight, with both hands clutching the phaser. His lips are in a tight line and his jaw is clenched. He is the epitome of Vulcan suppression.

Kirk is startled out of his comparisons when his Spock's condescending voice breaks the silence.

"I wish to inform you that I am only following your instructions because I fear that you may inadvertedly hit James if you fire that weapon, not because you have any true authority over me. Know that neither you, nor anyone else will keep me from my bond-mate."

The Spock near the door falters as he hears this. His eyes snap toward Jim and they practically beg for clarification.

"You are _bonded_?"

The blond swallows the lump in his throat and then nods. "Ah yeah, it's true. I bonded with him while I was in the other dimension. That's why I was so sick when I came back here. The bond didn't sever, but it was just stretched and then blocked by the invisible walls that separate our two universes. Apparently Vulcan mating bonds don't like that very much."

The phaser drops to the Vulcan's side as he stares disbelievingly (and with a tinge of anger) at the Human in the bed.

"Why would you do this? Why would you bond with _him_?"

The other Spock answers before Jim has a chance to.

"We are t'hy'la. The question you should be asking is: why would we not bond?"

A set of brown eyes narrow and the phaser is once again lifted.

"You had no right. He is not of your universe and thus not yours to claim. He does not belong with you."

Before Jim can even blink, his XO is pressed against the wall, his phaser skidding across the floor, and the Spock he is linked to has his hands around his counterpart's neck.

"The James T. Kirk of my universe was lost at birth, so when your captain appeared on my ship and I discovered that he was t'hy'la to me, I did everything in my power to ensure that he became my mate. He was un-bonded, which made him fair game."

The Spock against the wall growls, but the pressure around his throat makes it sound more like a gargle.

"You are angry I did this. You believe I was acting selfishly, that I did not think of James when I did this. Would you have preferred me to send him back to this universe, where his t'hy'la dismisses him, denies him..." His angry gaze travels to the hand grasping at his own, seeking release, and his glare hardens further. "... and marries another? You are a fool. He might not have originally belonged to me, but he is mine now and I will kill anyone who stands between me and my mate, even if it is myself."

To make his point hit home, Spock's fingers tighten around a green flushed neck.

Jim whips the covers off his body and is just about to jump out of bed to break this up, when McCoy comes stomping through the door and quickly takes in the scene around him. His eyes settle on the two Spock's and he scowls.

"What the hell do you two think you are doing? This is a hospital. A place for healing, not a fucking wrestling ring. Now step away from each other and act like the Starfleet officers you are."

Kirk is seriously impressed when, not only do the two Spock's move away from each other, but they also drop their gazes to the floor, embarrassed. Jim's Spock makes his way over to his bed and takes the Human's hand in his. Kirk is about to swing his legs around so that he can sit on the edge of the bed, but the doctor spins to him and points a finger at his friend.

"Don't even think about getting up, you dumbass. Just lay yourself right back down and tell me why we have yet another goddamn hobgoblin in this universe. As if two weren't bad enough."

**/**

**Hope you liked it. Next chapter will be up in a weeks time.**


	15. Chapter 15

**I just want to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews. You keep me writing when I'm about to give up. I also want to thank the reader who recommended my story to someone I follow on tumblr. That made my entire week.**

**Also, I better not forget to thank T'Arrah for being a great beta. She listens to all my wacky ideas and gives me such fantastic advice.**

**Star Trek isn't mine.  
>**

**/**

McCoy just stands there, placing his hands on his hips, and stares Jim down with an impatient glare. Kirk opens his mouth a few times as though he is going to speak, but every time he shuts it without muttering a word. The doctor finally loses his patience.

"I don't have all day Jim. Are you going to tell me why there are currently two Spock's in the room, or are you going to make me guess? If so, I'm leaning towards some sort of Spock specific catnip in your pockets that they just can't resist, or maybe some sort of giant magnet that only attracts Spock's. Why you would want to create one of those is beyond me though."

The Spock who is holding Jim's hand releases a small chuckle. Bones eyes widen in absolute shock, while the other Spock stares at him in growing horror.

"My god, Jim. This one here has a sense of humor and actually makes facial gestures beyond an eyebrow lift. I am so weirded out right now. Where he comes from, are all Vulcan's like him?"

Jim glances up at his Spock, just as the Vulcan glances down at him. Kirk smiles lovingly at his bond-mate, who squeezes his hand in response, and the he turns back to McCoy.

"Nah, he's definitely one of a kind."

Kirk's first officer visually stiffens at this statement, but everyone chooses to ignore it.

Jim goes on to explain to McCoy and his XO Spock about the other universe. He tells them how his counterpart died during the _Kelvin _incident. With Spock's permission, he tells them about Spock's upbringing on Earth. He goes on to explain Earth's destruction, followed by his bonding with Spock, and then finally finishes with the story regarding his battle with the Romulans. Both Jim and Spock mentally agree not to mention either the death of Sarek or the fact that Bones is still married. It will cause too much unnecessary pain.

McCoy is staring at Jim like he has just grown a second head. The Spock of this universe is glaring at his double as if the man has just taken his favorite toy and refuses to give it back. Jim thinks it's kind of funny since his XO never showed any inclination of wanting to 'play' with him in the past. McCoy once again grabs the attention of the room with his gruff voice.

"So, what you're telling me is that you were sick because you married this Spock from another universe and then your were forced into being separated when we beamed you back here?"

Jim nods. "Basically, except we aren't officially married. We're bonded."

His Vulcan bond-mate quickly jumps in to comment, hoping to dig the knife into the Spock standing off to the side, who already seems quite angry.

"However, I do wish to point out that a Vulcan bonding is recognized throughout the entire Federation. It is also far more permanent than a simple marriage. James will be my mate for life, as I will be his."

The doctor gives this new Spock an assessing look before switching is gaze over to his love struck friend and cracks a tiny smile. He turns back to the other Spock and gives him a little shrug.

"Well, If you make Jim happy then I can't complain. One thing you haven't mentioned when talking about this bond of yours is how you are going to stay together? Are you going stay here or are you going to do some sort of visitation timetable, where you cross dimensional plains once a week?"

Spock shakes his head. "Neither. James is coming back with me where he will become official Captain of the _USS Enterprise._"

Jim automatically goes to agree with his mate. "Yeah, I'm going... wait, what? When did we decide this?"

McCoy gaze bounces between the couple and can see that they need some time alone to figure this out. Also, he remembers how most of his fights with Joselyn ended to know that this 'discussion' has the potential to get ugly. Best to get the hell out of there before he is roped in and has to play mediator.

"You guys seem to have a lot to discuss, so me and uh..."

The doctor trails of as he glances at the two Spock's.

"What the hell are we meant to call these two and how can we possibly tell them apart if that one doesn't stay glued to your hand, Jim?"

The Spock from the other ship solves that problem by pulling his science tunic over his head and tossing it on Jim's bed, leaving him in only his black under shirt."

Bones gives him a thumbs up in appreciation.

"Great. So me and blue Spock will make ourselves scarce, while you two talk it out. Come on, blue Spock."

McCoy begins walking toward the door and when he pass the Spock still in his science blues, he grabs the Vulcan's elbow, believing that Spock will let him lead him out. He is wrong. The Vulcan first officer holds his ground and the doctor nearly stumbles backwards.

"I will not be going anywhere, while this... doppelgänger is alone with _my _captain."

The Spock in black's mouth curls into a snarl and he goes to take a step forward towards what he sees as a threat, but he is stopped by Jim, who still has a firm grip on his hand.

Kirk's pleading eyes lock with his XO's determined ones.

"Please Spock, give me some time alone with my bond-mate to sort this out. Your needed on the bridge anyway. I will comm you when we are finished and then we can meet so that I can inform you of the outcome."

The blue Spock's eyes leave Jim's and narrow on his counterpart. A scowl forms on his lips when the Vulcan in black smirks at him.

"You heard your captain, Commander. He wants _you _to leave, so that he may have a private discussion with his _bond-mate._"

The Spock in blue glances over to Jim, but the blond has his eyes averted. He releases a small sigh and bends to retrieve his phaser. He hesitates for a moment, finger twitching on the trigger, before finally placing it in it's holster. He turns on his heals and quickly walks out the door without giving the other occupants even a slight nod of the head as a farewell.

McCoy shakes his head in vexation at the rude behavior of the ship's XO, before giving a small wave to the bonded pair and leaving the two of them alone in the small room.

The Spock who is still in the room turns away from the door and faces his confused bond-mate, who has let go of his hand and now has his arms crossed over his chest.

"What exactly did you mean when you said you are taking me back with you?"

Spock lifts an eyebrow at this question. He doesn't understand the confusion he is feeling from Jim through the bond. He was sure that he made himself clear.

"Exactly what I stated. You are to come back with me and become captain of the _Enterprise."_

The feelings of confusion coming from Kirk intensify and he brow furrows.

"Uh, there are a few things wrong with that plan, love. First, I am already captain of this ship. Second, Pike is still captain of the other ship. Thirdly, there is no way in hell that your Starfleet is going to give one of their star-ships to a man from another universe who technically does not exist."

Spock leans down and presses a chaste kiss against Kirk's forehead before straighten up. Jim can't believe it takes something so small to calm him. It should be frightening how much power this Spock has over him, but he knows through the link he shares with the Vulcan that the power goes both ways. It is a completely equal partnership.

"You have been gone from out universe for three days and in that time I have made many inquiries on your behalf. Though Captain Pike has regained consciousness, Doctor McCoy has determined that the nerve damage to his spine was too severe. He will never walk again."

Jim heaves a regretful sigh. "I had a feeling that would happen, but I had hoped he would be spared. Let me guess, the brass made him Admiral."

Spock nods solemnly. "Affirmative. Because he was still recovering from his injuries, it fell to me to brief the Admiralty of the events that transpired during our stand off with the Romulans. I also informed them of our bonding, since it is regulation to notify Starfleet when ones relationship's status has changed. They became very... excited by the idea of you taking over command of the _Enterprise,_ if we could manage to bring me back, of course."

Kirk is stunned. His hands drop to his side in shock and he searches Spock's mind for any trace of deceit. There is none.

"They actually want me to be captain? Are you sure, because the only reason I got the gig here was because I saved the Earth and it was what the public wanted. Most of the Admirals hate my guts."

Spock frowns and seats himself on the bed next to Jim and gently lays his palm against the Human's cool cheek. Kirk leans into the touch.

"Ashayam, you risked your life for the good of the ship and it's crew, not to mention that it was you alone that came up with the plan to defeat the Romulans. You stopped a war, James. Of course the Admiralty would be impressed by that. To quote Admiral Nogura, 'If we can have at least one ship captained by a man such as this James T. Kirk, then there is still hope for Starfleet and the Federation as a whole, not to mention the Human race'. He then made me promise to do everything in my power to convince you to return."

Jim is blushing. He has never heard such kind words spoken about him in regards to his work and especially not from Nogura. Actually, the last time he had spoken with Nogura of this universe, the man had called him a 'no-talent shmuck who has only managed to get by on his looks and luck, both of which will eventually fade'. It feels nice to be appreciated for once. Really nice.

"Okay, so your Starfleet wants me and they have made it clear that they don't really care that I am from another universe, but there is one important issue you haven't touched upon... my ship. I can't just up and leave _this _shipand its crew."

Spock tilts his head thoughtfully.

"Why not? During our time together, even before we bonded, it was clear that there were very few people who treated you how you should have been treated in this universe. You owe them nothing and you would not be leaving them without a captain. I am sure my counterpart will be all too... willing to take over command and if not, they will find someone else. Once we are gone, your first officer can simply tell Starfleet Command that you perished in a transporter accident. It would not be a total falsehood."

Jim looks over at Spock hesitantly and then shakes his head.

"I... I can't just abandon them." He becomes more resolute. "I can't leave Bones, he is my best friend."

Spock wraps his arms around Kirk, buries his face into his bond-mates neck and inhales deeply.

"I do regret that your leaving may cause you Doctor McCoy pain, because he does seem to care for you deeply, but if he is a true friend then he will want you to be happy."

Jim lifts Spock's head away from his neck and locks his eyes with the Vulcan.

"This decision is not as easy as you are making it out to be. I love you, but I really don't know if I could just up and abandon the people of this universe even though, as you have pointed out, most of them aren't my biggest fans. It feels too much like quitting."

Spock smiles and then leans in to kiss the blond. After a few seconds they pull apart, both breathing a little more heavily than before. Spock forehead presses against Kirk's.

"Your hesitancy to abandon the same people who have hurt you should make me angry, but it just makes me love you more. It also makes me more certain that they do not deserve you."

Jim just chuckles as his arms tighten around the Vulcan, allowing him to absorb the heat from Spock's body.

"I believe you need time to reflect on what we have discussed and make a decision without me 'crowding' you. I am going to shield our bond, so that you can have some privacy with your thoughts. I will leave it up to you when you want to open it back up. I will wait for you in your quarters."

Spock pulls himself out of Jim's hold and rises from the bed. Jim's eyes widen in surprise.

"You are really going to leave it up to me to decide? No pressure?"

Spock's eyes soften as he stares down at his dumbstruck husband and a wave of love and adoration slips through the bond just before the shields go up.

"James, you are aware of my preference, but the choice is ultimately yours. I can only wish for your happiness and only you can truly decide where that happiness lies. I will see you soon, t'hy'la."

Before Jim can get his thoughts together enough to actually form words, Spock has already left.

Kirk just sits there for a moment, before he bends over towards the comm unit next to the bed. He dials a direct line to McCoy's office.

"Bones, I need you in here now."

* * *

><p>Once Kirk has finished explaining his dilemma to McCoy, who has been sitting on the edge of the bed and listening intently, he gazes at the doctor with pleading eyes.<p>

"What should I do, Bones?"

McCoy rolls his eyes and then pats his best friend on the head like he is a puppy, who can't seem to understand that it is never going to catch it's tail.

"Jim, you have a lot of annoying qualities, but I never thought stupidity was one of them."

Jim winces at this and he waits for the other shoe to drop. He is sure Bone's is going to tell him he has to stay.

"It is obvious to anyone with half a brain that you need to go with him."

Kirk's jaw falls open and he stares dumbly at McCoy for a moment before his voice finally returns.

"Huh?"

McCoy slaps the blond on the back of the head and then rubs it in a soothing manner, before his hand once again drops to his side.

"Pretty much since this goddamn mission began, you have been making goo goo eyes at our Spock and he has shot you down every time. Shit! He was such a prick to you that he objected to sitting alone with you in your office for meetings, You always had to have them in the officer's mess or the ready room off of the bridge. I had to watch as you slowly slipped further and further into depression because of it. Just watching you and this other Spock together for five minutes tells me all I need to know. He makes you happy. Happier than I have ever seen you. Also, lets not forget that the man crossed over into another universe for you. If that ain't love then I don't know what is."

Jim finally shakes himself out of his stupor to properly respond to his friend.

"But what about the ship? It's crew? What about you, Bones? I can't abandon you. We might never see each other again once I leave."

McCoy huffs in frustration.

"This ship and the people on it ain't gonna fall apart if you ain't here. Sure, you are a great captain, but you're not irreplaceable. If Spock ain't willin' to take over, Starfleet will find someone else. In regards to me, I'm not a goddamn puppy! You won't be abandoning me, you will just be moving on with your life, which is what _normal _people do. I'll get over it and get on with things. I'm not gonna lie and say that I won't miss you like crazy, but I as sure as hell am not gonna be the reason why you don't take the chance at a better life. If I had a person willing to travel across dimension for me and had people practically begging me to help my race, which is near extinction, then I wouldn't let anything hold me back. Not even my friendship with you, but I'm guessing you wouldn't try to stand in the way of _my _happiness."

Jim jumps out of the bed and onto his feet in protest. His answer automatic. "Of course not!"

McCoy steps up to Kirk and wraps him in a hug.

"Neither would I. You aren't happy here, Jim. Now you have a chance to be somewhere that values you. I wouldn't be a very good friend if I held you back from that."

Kirk breathing begins to hitch and tears start to fall down his cheeks. McCoy pulls back and places his hands on either side of the younger man's face.

"Listen to me, kid. I will always be your friend. You not being here won't change that fact one iota. You will always be a part of my life and you never know, maybe one day we will be able to meet again."

Jim is sobbing now.

"Bones... I... I...don't... kno-"

McCoy cuts Kirk off by pulling him into another hug. Jim just clings to the man that is like a brother to him and tries to get his breathing under control.

"God Jim, you've gotten yourself all worked up. I think you need some time alone to calm yourself down and get your head on straight. I think I might head out and have the 'best friend talk' with this husband of yours. Can't let him think that just because he is in another universe, that I won't come and kick his ass if he hurts you."

Kirk gives him a watery chuckle.

"Just don't bring out the shotgun. He might neck pinch you."

Bones releases him and steps back to stare at his, now much calmer, friend.

"Pfft. I'd like to see him try. He may have super strength and all that Vulcan voodoo, but I am a ninja with a hypo. He would be out for the count before he could raise a finger."

Jim sits down on the edge of the bed, laughing and watches as the doctor strolls out through the door.

The laughter soon subsides and he is surprised to find that he is feeling a little better. Bones has always been able to do that. Put him back together, just as he is about to completely fall apart.

Kirk suddenly realizes that he has absolutely no idea what time it is. He spins at the waist to look at the clock on the wall behind. He only gets a quick glance at it before he hears the door slide open again.

Jim calls out to the person that has just entered, as he turns back around. "Did you forget something Bo-"

The rest of his question dies in his throat and he stumbles to his feet when his discovers Spock, his XO, standing by the closed door. Even if the Vulcan were not wearing the blue science tunic, Jim would still be able to tell that this isn't his Spock, from the absence of sensation coming from the bond and the lack of physical arousal that is usually always present with the other Spock. He absently wonders how his body can differentiate between two men who are identical in every way, but he pushes those queries to the back of his mind to be answered at a later date and quickly wipes at his eyes to rid himself of the last reminisce of tears lingering in his eyes.

"Oh, hey Spock. I thought we agreed that I would comm you when it was time for our meeting, but if you want to do it now, I guess we-"

Spock's harsh voice cuts him off.

"I forbid you to leave with that Vulcan, Captain."

The slightly apprehensive expression leaves Jim's face and is replaced with one of outrage. He places his hands on his hips, as his eyes narrow on his first officer.

"What the fuck, Spock?"

**/**

**You know the drill. Next chapter in a week's time. Be prepared for douchebag Spock and lots of him.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay, Spock really out does himself. Some of you might think he is a bit OOC, but I really think Spock form the 2009 movie is capable of this (especially since his mother is gone and can't show him the error of his ways). You can disagree with me, but please no flames.**

**Thank you T'Arrah for being my Beta reader. Mistakes are still all mine.**

**Star Trek is not mine.**

**/**

**/**

Kirk steps up to Spock until they are toe to toe. He glares daggers at his Vulcan first officer, who is gazing at his captain impassively.

"Please tell me that my hearing is failing me, because I don't really want to believe that you just _forbid_ me from doing something."

Spock just tilt his head as he continues to gaze at Jim who is growing more angry by the second.

"From what Doctor McCoy told me of your injuries, there was no mention of hearing loss."

Kirk's hands have dropped from his hips and are now clenching at his side. He is so enraged he can hardly see straight.

"Don't play fucking dumb with me, Spock. It's not nearly as cute as it used to be. Now tell me what gives you the right to forbid me to do anything?"

Spock's jaw tightens at the harshness in Jim's tone.

"As your first officer, it is my duty to-"

"Don't pull that duty crap with me. You aren't the only one that has memorised the regulations, so I know for a fact that none of them mention anything about travelling alternate universes. Care to try again?"

Spock is starting to look a little angry himself. He obviously didn't expect the captain to call him out. Kirk doesn't blame him for not anticipating it, because he had never done so in the past. The Vulcan evidently does not know how to feel about his captain's new found assertiveness. That might be why the next words were not as carefully thought out as he had hoped.

"I do not trust my counterpart. You have only known him for a short time and yet you seem to under his thrall. I believe that when you melded, he manipulated you into-"

"_That's enough__._"

Spock actually jumps slightly at the sound of Jim shouting. He then looks down as on of the Captain's fingers pokes in the chest.

"You don't get the right to say anything bad about the man I am bonded to. You know nothing about him, while I know everything... because he let me in."

Spock grabs Kirk by the arms and shakes him, like it's possible to change the Human's opinions by just shaking it out of him.

"This is what I mean, Captain. You are so quick to jump to his defence. Why?"

Jim almost snarls his next words at the Vulcan in front of him. "Because we are t'hy'la!"

Spock's eyes become wide as the last word leaves Kirk's lips. Something snaps within him. He lunges at Jim and his mouth is covering the blonde's. Jim gasps in shock and Spock takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

Kirk is too shocked at first to do anything, and then he is too distracted by the conflicting sensations from his mental bond to respond. Part of his mind is telling him to finish a bond with this Vulcan because it incomplete, while the other part is telling him that this Vulcan is a theat to his bond. He feels as if he is being torn in two. Not as soon as he would like he is ripped away from his mental struggle when he feels Spock bite his lower painfully.

_'This isn't my Spock. He would never cause me pain.'_

With that powerful realisation, he shoves at Spock with all his strength and practically sprints to the other side of the room and presses himself against the wall. He licks at his lips and tastes blood.

"What the hell was that, Spock?"

Spock has a predatory gleam in his eye, as he takes a few steps towards Kirk, but halts when the clearly frightened Human lifts a hand in the universal signal for stop. Spock sighs in frustration.

"That was me 'throwing my hat into the ring', as I believe the saying goes."

Kirk's brow crinkles in confusion.

"Throwing your hat in the ring for what exactly?"

Spock's gaze runs up and down Jim's frame and then his head tilts to the side, as his eyes once again locks with his captain's.

"Your affection. I wish for you to leave the other Spock and be with me instead."

Jim pushes off from the wall, with a disbelieving smile slowly forming on his lips. He shakes his head at the resolute looking Vulcan.

"That's a good one, Spock. Really funny, but before you go throwing your imaginary hat around, you should remember one important fact. You don't even fucking like me! We have never hung out. We have never had a personal conversation. You didn't even want to meld with me to save my life, for Christ sake. That was all your doing, Spock. I reached out to you and you rejected me every goddamn time! Now you want a piece of me after someone else claims me for their own. Excellent bloody timing you have there, Spock. "

As Spock takes a step closer, Jim quickly takes a step away, unwilling to let the distance close between the two, just in case Spock decides to kiss him again.

"You are correct. I did keep my distance from you, but not for the reason you think. It was not because I did not like you, but because I liked you too well."

Kirk is starting to get pissed. No one has ever made him as confused as Spock is managing right now.

"What does that even mean?"

Spock takes another step forward and Jim, once again, takes another step back. He is all too aware that his is being pushed into a corner and hopes that this conversation will be finished before he gets to that corner, so that he can make his escape.

"When I nerve pinched you on the bridge during the Narada incident, I became aware that you were my t'hy'la, but I also realised at that time that it would not be logical to claim you. We were in the middle of an emergency and you were undermining my authority. You had to be removed from the ship, though it pained me to do so."

Kirk scoffs. "Yeah, you seemed really choked up about it."

Spock doesn't rise to the bait. He simply continues on with his explanation.

"During the battle with Nero, I had very little time to think of our potential relationship, but once we had returned to Earth, I was able to truly evaluate the situation. I soon came to the conclusion that bonding with you would be completely illogical. There were many reasons for my decision. We did not get along. I found your morals questionable to say the least. I had to also take into account that I was in a fulfilling relationship with Nyota, who unlike you, would be able to help repopulate my race, which obviously became a concern after the demise of my planet. Though, the most convincing reason of them them all was that you seem to be the only being that can emotional compromise me and I could not let you close enough to do that to me again. I am Vulcan and thus need a bond-mate that would respect my way of life."

Kirk can't keep the incredulous (and slightly insulted) look off his face. It doesn't seem to matter though, because Spock doesn't notice and just keeps on talking.

"Once I decided that we would not be bonding, I had to make sure that I stayed away from you, so that a bond would not form automatically, which has been known to happen between t'hy'la."

Jim is beyond outraged, but he keeps it (mostly) contained, because there is still one thing he doesn't get and needs to find out before he blows his top.

"Why now? If you worked so damn hard on making sure that we never bonded, why do you want to bond us now?"

Kirk can now sees that Spock has gained some ground when he wasn't paying attention and goes to move back, but the wall he hits stops his progress. His eyes widen in fear, when his XO closes the final distance between them. Two warm fingers trail down Kirk's cheek and along his jaw before dropping to the Vulcan's side. Spock lips are only millimetres away from Jim's as he answers the question. Jim whole body seizes up, as his brain screams about who wrong this is.

"You misunderstand me. I am married to Uhura and I will eventually bond with her, which means that I will not be able to bond with you. However, that does not exclude us from having a discreet sexual relationship, Jim."

It is the first time this Spock has ever used his name and in the past he would have felt joy from that, but Spock's words have made him see red. He does the first thing that comes to his mind. His head cranes up slightly and he bites Spock hard on the nose. Spock jumps back in either shock or pain (maybe both), and Jim pushes past him. He doesn't turn around to face the Vulcan until he reaches the door.

"You are the most moronic genius I have ever know. First you have the nerve to tell me that you are attracted to me against your will, and then you go on to explain to me how you only want me if I play the 'other woman' in your life. Did you think this through... at all? Did you actually think I would accept your offer to be your whore? And even if I was stupid enough to go for your proposal, how would you explain it to Uhura? When you bond with her she is bound to find out."

Spock opens his mouth, ready to respond, but Jim cuts him off.

"No, don't answer that, because I'm sure that whatever you say is just going to make the hole you are already in, deeper. Not to mention, it is just going to piss me off more. Nearly every word you've spoken since you entered this room has been beyond insulting to me, but what I find really crazy is that I'm actually more thankful than angry. You have shown me how truly lucky I am to be bonded to a man that isn't afraid to love me... who isn't ashamed of me. You have also unwittingly helped me make my decision."

Spock stops massaging his tender nose for a moment. His now worried gaze bores into Jim.

"And what might that decision be?"

Kirk doesn't answer. Instead he quickly ambles over to the table next to the bed and picks up his PADD. He quickly types in a message and then waits. A small buzzing sound can be heard and Jim watches as Spock pulls his PADD from his pocket. The Vulcan reads the new message quickly and then his head snaps up to glare at the blond.

"Captain, what is the meaning of this? Why have you called a meeting with the senior bridge staff and department head?"

Jim smirks. "I thought that would be obvious. I plan to use that meeting to tell _all _my senior staff of my decision, but before I can do that I have to tell my bond-mate. He should be the first to know, since he is the most important person to me in _any _universe.."

The man in yellow saunters to the door and quickly looks over his shoulder at an plainly put-out Spock.

"See you in the main conference room in three hours, Commander."

He is out the door and heading to his quarters before the Vulcan can muster up a response.

* * *

><p>Kirk is surprised that he has made it all the way to his quarters without a single member of his crew seeing him. He even managed to find an empty room on his way back and replicate himself a uniform. He thinks it might have something to do with the fact that it is four in the morning and most of the crew is sleeping.<p>

_'No one tells you that going into a Vulcan bond related coma will mess up someone's sleep cycle. Vulcan's really need to put warning labels on their bonds. This is shit people really need to know.'_

The door opens to Jim's quarters, and as he steps in his eyes try to adjust to the low light that is barely illuminating the room.

_'Spock was probably meditating.'_

He spends a couple of moments searching for his elusive bond-mate, and when he finds him his breath catches in his throat. Spock is standing in profile at the other side of the room, in front of Jim's bookcase. His hand is caressing the spine of one of the old paperback books, while his eyes scan the title. He repeats this action as he moves to the next book and then the one after that. The Vulcan's lips are tilted up slightly in a small smile. The sight makes Jim's heart feel as though it is going to burst with adoration.

"Hello, James. I hope you don't mind that I am looking through your books. I simply could not hold back when confronted with such a vast personal collection."

Jim shakes his head, while grinning. "Of course I don't mind. You are my husband. What's mine, is yours, Ashayam."

Spock turns around and his eyebrow shoots up has he takes in Kirk's apparel.

"Does Doctor McCoy know that you are no longer in Sickbay or should I be expecting a very angry Southern gentleman barging through your door at any moment? I will say that if that is the case then I will certainly not enjoy it. I find your Leonard McCoy to be somewhat more frightening than mine. He recently informed me that he would surgically remove my chenesi and shoot them out of an airlock if I ever caused you harm. He is an intimidating man, James."

Jim laughs loudly.

"Don't worry about Bones. He is all bark and no bite... well, very little bite."

Jim hesitates for a second before continuing.

"Just to be safe just do as he says and everything should be fine."

Spock strides away from the bookshelf and closer to his bond-mate.

"That will not be a difficulty. I would never intentionally hurt you."

Jim nods knowingly. "I never doubted you, love."

Spock smiles, as his takes another step closer. Jim is nothing but pleased because, he can finally get a good look at him.

"Can I assume that you are here with me because you have reached a decis-"

Jim is confused when Spock cuts himself of and rushes towards him, but he realises what has happened when the Vulcan grabs him by the chin and stares down at his lips. The lips that still feels swollen and are most likely bruised from the kiss he received from the other Spock in sickbay.

_'Shit! Shit! Shit!'_

"Computer, lights to 75%."

Kirk cringes at the sharp tone of Spock's voice and slams his eyes shut against the sudden brightness. When he opens them again, he finds himself staring into Spock's face, which is twisted in rage. Kirk can see that from one look Spock has realised what has happened.

"He dare touch you? I will rip out his _khaf-spol_ and feed it to a _Le-matya, _and then let the animal gorge itself on his corpse. His death will bring me immense pleasure."

Jim doesn't know what a _khaf-spol _is, but it sounds mighty important. Before he even gets the chance to clarify with Spock, the Vulcan has let him go and is marching towards the door purposefully. Kirk is there in a flash and wraps his arms around his bond-mate's waist, pulling him to a stop. He knows that Spock can easily break free of his hold, but he also knows that this Spock wouldn't do anything that could cause him injury, which is what he would need to do if he still is set on killing the other Spock.

"Don't do it, t'hy'la. He isn't worth it. It was one bad kiss and I put a stop to it as soon as I could."

Jim can feel his mate's body stiffen further in his hold.

"He assaulted you, James. As my bond-mate, I am within my right to seek revenge."

Kirk hugs Spock closer to his body and buries his face between the Vulcan's shoulder blades. He places a small kiss there and then rubs cheek against that same spot. His hands find there way under the front of Spock's black shirt and begin rubbing calming circles over his abdomen. His bond-mate's posture relaxes ever so slightly.

"Then you will get your revenge when we tell him and the rest of my crew that I am going back with you."

Jim doesn't know how it happens, but Spock is now somehow facing him and staring down at him with almost unrestrained excitement.

"You are returning with me to my universe?"

Kirk nods and opens the bond between them so that Spock can see everything for himself. He shows him the conversation with McCoy and the one he had with his first officer. He can feel the anger building again in Spock, so he placates it by showing him the realisation he came to thanks to the other Spock. It doesn't kill the fire within the Vulcan, but it cools it to a more manageable level.

_'You did not choose him, even after he offered himself to you?'_

Apparently this Spock is also pretty good at repessing emotions, because this is the first time Jim actually feels the uncertainty Spock has regarding his counterpart. He has been troubled with thoughts of Jim leaving him for the Vulcan who had known him first. Kirk's heart breaks knowing this was how his love feels, and is resolved to spend the rest of his life making it up to his mate.

_'Ashaya, I may have had a crush on him, but I fell in love with you. He could never make me as happy as you have made me in the short time I have known you, and our earlier conversation only solidified that fact.'_

Jim begins walking backwards towards the bed, tugging at Spock's waist so that the Vulcan will follow him. The back of his knees hit the bed and he lowers himself onto it. He pulls Spock down on top of him, so that the Vulcan 's body is pressed flush against him. Kirk's hands again travel under Spock's underskirt, up his back and then down to cover his arse. He lifts his hips, grinding himself against his Vulcan bond-mate's obvious arousal.

Jim kisses up the side of Spock's flushed neck, moving over the chiselled jaw until his lips reach a pointed ear. He licks from the lobe up to the point and then places a chaste kiss there. He can feel Spock shudder, and he smiles against the beautiful ear when he hears the Vulcan above him moan.

"You know, this will be the first time I have ever had sex in this bed. It's kind of fitting that I get to christen it with you before I go."

Spock turns his head and attacks Jim's mouth with his own.

_'You are talking too much, t'hy'la. I must remedy that immediately.'_

Kirk is so caught up in the kiss that he almost doesn't notice when Spock rips open his tunic. The Vulcans lips leave his and begin trailing down his neck and chest. He licks and nibbles around the Humans belly-button, causing Jim to groan. He really wants to comment on the smugness emanating from Spock, but he can't seem to form words at the moment.

_'From your silence, I gather that I was successful in my quest. Now, I must focus all my attention on divesting you of your pants and orally pleasuring you.'_

Jim is panting now and trying desperately to keep himself from bucking up into Spock's faces, which is hovering over his crotch.

"Sounds... sounds like a good plan to... me."

Spock opens the zipper to his mate's pants and smiles.

"I thought you would see the merit in it."

Spock pulls down Kirk's pants and briefs, and then his mouth descends. Jim gasps and his eyes roll back into his head.

_'Best fucking plan ever!'_

* * *

><p>Jim and Spock manage to get to the conference room fifteen minutes early even thought they thoroughly christened the bed (and the desk, and the wall), got distracted in the shower, and got distracted again when they were getting dressed.<p>

They are standing by the table, hands on each others hips and each nuzzling the other's neck. Kirk shivers as he feels Spock's voice vibrate against his sensitive skin.

"Are you certain of your choice, Ashayam? I am willing to wait if you need more time."

Jim sighs contently and lifts his head, Spock follows suit. They gaze at each other silently for what seems like an eternity before Jim tilts his head up and kisses Spock sweetly on the lips.

_'You saying that only makes me want to be with you more. Look into my mind, Spock. I have made my choice. I am going back with you and nothing is going to change my mind. All we need to do is tell my crew.'_

Spock traces Jim's bottom lip with his tongue, before cradling it between his lips in a feather soft caress. Kirk moans at the sensation, his lip still sensitive from the bruising it received earlier.

_'I wish you had let me use the regenerator on your lip, Ashaya. I hate that he has marked you.'_

Jim's mouth presses more urgently against Spock, wishing to deepen the kiss.

_'After all our 'activities' I sort of forgot about it. It will heal in no time, and if anything, it acts as a reminder for why I chose you.'_

Before they can get any further in their mental conversation, Jim and Spock are startled apart when they hear someone clear their throat near the door. They both glance over to find a somewhat confused and very angry Uhura watching them. Her hands go to her hips and her eyes narrow on Jim.

"So Kirk, could you please tell me why you just kissed _my _husband and have your dirty mitts all over him?"

Jim flinches at the hard tone of her voice and he tightens his grip on Spock's hips to stop the Vulcan from carrying out the violent actions he can see through their link. He can't believe the other Spock didn't tell his goddamn wife about the situation.

_'This just got even more complicated.'_

Spock mentally hums in agreement even though most of his thoughts are focused on reminding himself that he was raised by his mother (and Vulcan principles) not to hit women.

Nyota continues to glare at Kirk, completely unaware of the struggle both men are facing because of her.

"Take the hint Kirk. I want you to get your hands off my man... _now!_"

Spock breaks free of Kirk's hold and stomps over to the the communications officer, who is now smiling victoriously. However, the smile falls when she sees the fury swimming in Spock's eyes.

"I am not now, nor will I ever be _your_ man. Now, apologise to my bond-mate before I truly lose my temper and commit acts of violence against you."

Uhura's eye go wide in shock.

"You're what now?"

**/**

**Time to tell the rest of the senior crew. **

**Reviews are like cookies.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Jim tells the others of his decision and finds out something he wasn't expecting.**

**Thank you to T'Arrah for being my fantastic beta. Mistakes are still mine.  
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**Star Trek isn't mine.**

**/**

**/**

The door to the conference room slides open and all three current occupants turn to it to discover the rest of the crew that was called to the meeting... including XO Spock.

Uhura steps away from the Spock in black and steps over to the Vulcan in blue with a look of stupefaction, one that is replicated on Sulu, Chekov and Scotty's face. Jim rolls his eyes realising that there has been a serious lack of debriefing going on since he has been back.

_'What the hell has Spock been doing this whole time when he should have been doing his job as the fucking acting captain?'_

Kirk wants to thank god for the fact that McCoy, at least, seems to have his shit together. The look of apprehension on his face can be forgiven seeing as how Jim suspects that he is sporting an identical look. Having two emotionally unstable Vulcan's in a room together tends to bring forth a certain amount of dread.

Black Spock is the first to break the awkward silence that has fallen over the room.

"Lieutenant Uhura, I believe that the Spock who just walked in was the man you were referring to when making demands of your captain. You should apologise this instant for your insulting behaviour towards my bond-mate."

Uhura turns to face the Vulcan that is identical to her husband in every way with complete confusion in her eyes.

"Huh?"

The Spock in blue is by her side in an instant, with one hand on her shoulder, and a glare aimed at the other Vulcan.

"You do not have to do anything of the sort, my wife. You owe the captain nothing."

Jim reaches out for his Spock and takes a hold of his wrist, mentally pleading with him not to do anything that he might later regret. Spock holds himself back, feeling the desperation in his mate's mind, but his eyes narrow murderously on the other Spock.

"If it were not against my t'hy'la's wishes, I would kill you were you stand."

Both Spocks release an identical snarl.

Uhura's hair whips through the air as she spins around to face her Spock.

What is going on, Spock? Why is there another you and why is he saying that Kirk is his bond-mate?"

Near the door, Chekov glances at Scotty and Sulu before raising his hand.

"I believe that ve vould also like an explanation for this."

The two men beside the Pavel nod in agreement as the teenager gestures at the two Spocks.

Jim decides to take this moment to regain control of proceeding. He is still the captain of this ship, after all.

"Look, I know this is all very confusing, and you all are bound to have a million questions, but I think it would best if we all sit down and I will explain a few things. If you still have questions after that then you can ask away."

To show their agreement to the captain's plan, everyone silently moves to the conference table. Jim takes his customary seat with Bones to the left of him. It is only when he is seated that he mentally smacks himself for not seiing the problem before it arises. On his right there are two hands grasping the chair, and those hands do not belong to the same Vulcan. He glances up to find both Spocks trying to stare the other down.

"I believe that as the Captain's first officer that I am the only one permitted to sit at this seat."

The black Spock just smirks.

"I was also James' first officer for a short amount of time, and I am his bond-mate. My relationship with the Captain will always trump yours no matter what... alternatives you might suggest."

Jim rolls his eyes at his lover's fairly obvious dig, but then his sight catches a slight movement where the hands are situated on the chair, and he glances back down. He can see his science officer's hand squeeze the frame of the chair, his knuckles going white and the metal mophing from the pressure. When his head tilts back up, the Spock in blue is regarding at him expectantly.

"Captain?"

Kirk sighs. He sort of hates both Spock's right now for putting him in this situation. Either way he goes, one Spock is going to be seriously pissed off with him. If he has to choose, then he will pick the one that might with hold sex from him. He is only human, and a man to boot.

"Sorry Commander, but seeing as how this meeting greatly affects my Spock, it would be best if he sits by me. I'm sure you can understand the logic in that."

The Vulcan in the blue tunic looks all set to argue, but is interrupted by his wife.

"Spock, it really doesn't matter where you sit, does it. There is a seat by me that is free."

The blue Spock doesn't even acknowledge that she had addressed him, instead he just returns to glaring at his, now smug, twin.

"You heard your Captain. Find another seat, _Commander__Spock_."

The XO releases the chair as if it has burnt him and quickly makes his way towards the seat next to Nyota. Once he is seated, Jim visibly relaxes and glances around the table at his crew.

Okay guys, here is what happened."

Once Kirk has told the people at the table about the other universe and the decision he has made regarding his position in that universe, he just sits back and watches the many faces around the table morph into an abundance of different expressions.

Chekov's bottom lip is protruding and Jim is sure that he can see tears in the young man's eyes. Sulu is staring at the Spock next to Jim as if examining him. Kirk doesn't know if that is a good thing or not. McCoy is just nodding his head and smiling approvingly. Since Mr Scott is focused intently on his PADD, it is hard for Jim to really gauge his expression, but from what he can see the man looks worried. Jim decides to come back to his engineer and find out what's troubling him, but he finds that he really needs to know how the 'happy couple' feel about this new development.

When he turns to Uhura, he is stunned to find that she isn't even looking in his direction, but he when his gaze shifts to what has gained her attention, he understands. She is watching her husband as he stares at Kirk in what can only be described as devastation. He locks his gaze with his Vulcan first officer for a moment to convey his resoluteness before breaking the contact. He reaches out for his Spock's hand under the table and squeezes it, trying to seek comfort.

Everyone in the room (including the two Vulcans) jump in their seats when Scotty slam his PADD in the hard surface of the table.

"It's nae good! I cannae figure it oot."

Jim glances at his chief engineer in concern.

"What's the problem, Scotty?"

The man in red rakes his hands through his thinning hair and then glances up towards his captain in defeat.

"I have been running through the numbers over and over again and it always comes out the same way. If you go over to tha' other universe, you will not be able to come back."

Everybody in the room demonstrates shock at this new piece of information. McCoy is especially wide eyed.

"We managed to pull him back here once, and then his Vulcan toy-boy followed him through. Why would it be impossible for it to happen again? Can't we just use that goddamn formula you concocted as many times as we want?"

Jim tries to focus intently on Scotty and not the indignation coming through the bond. Apparently Spock does not like the title of 'toy boy'.

_'Bigger issues, Spock. Bigger fucking issues.'_

Scotty's frown deepens and he shakes his head at the good doctor.

"The thing is that for some reason the ion cloud weakened the 'walls' between universes and tha' is what allowed you to be transported there. It is also what allowed you to be brought back. Since the ion cloud has dissipated, the walls have began to strengthen and soon there will be no possible way to travel between universes... unless we come upoon another ion cloud identical to the one we previously encountered."

Jim laughs humourlessly. "Yeah, what are the odds of that happening?"

Scotty shrugs sadly, just as the Spock next to him answers.

"I believe the odds of that event happening in any of our lifetimes are 8.456 billion to one, t'hy'la."

Kirk turns to his Spock and chuckles. He has always found Spock's extrememly detailed calculations hilarious and his bond-mate has used that knowledge to his advantage. It is his very Vulcan atempt at lightening the mood.

All too soon, the humour leaves Spock's face and it becomes completely serious, as he ensures that his gaze is level with his bond-mate. Jim sees the change and it sobers him up slightly, knowing that what is going to come out his Spock's mouth will not continue to be comical.

"The Mr Scott from my time line also expressed that this might happen and informed me that he would research the possibilities more thoroughly while I am gone. He also strongly recommended that I do not spend an exceedingly long amount of time in this universe if I wished to return."

Jim frowns as he takes this all in. However, his musings are cut short when Chekov's eager addresses him..

"Keptin, this means that you vill stay, da? You can't leave now, knowing that you vill never be able to return."

The hope shining in the young navigator's eyes dim when Kirk averts his gaze. He just can't look into those puppy dog eye and see how he is letting the boy down.

"No, Chekov. I have already made up my mind about going. I have to go where I am needed. If anything this is a blessing. This means that once I'm gone no one can pull me back, which means that Starfleet will have to classify me as dead. It will be easier for you to get assigned a new captain, and resources won't be wasted on a rescue attempt that would be unwelcome."

Sulu bangs his fist on the table and Jim's eyes shoot to his angry face.

"We don't want another captain! You can't just leave. You belong here."

Jim lets go of Spock's hand, stand up out of his seat, and makes his way around to Hikaru's side. He places his hand on the Asian's shoulder just as the man gazes up at him.

"Yeah, I really don't, Sulu. I don't think I have ever really belonged here. This universe puts up with me. It doesn't truly need me, not like the other one does. I can actually do some good there, without having to fight the Admirality every damn step of the way like I do here."

He looks across the table at his Spock who is sending waves of love and support down the link they share.

"Also, I can't not be without my bond-mate and I can't take him away from his home... from a family that loves him. I could never do that to my t'hy'la."

From the corner of Jim's eye he can see Uhura turn to her Spock with a puzzled expression and mouth the word 't'hy'la'. He seemingly ignores her and keeps his stare fixed on his captain.

Jim drops his hand from Sulu's shoulder and snaps his fingers in front of Scotty, successfully pulling the man's attention away from his PADD, where he is still tirelessly trying to figure out a solution to the problem. He is plainly unwilling to admit defeat just yet, even though it does semm to appear hopeless.

"How long do Spock and I have to get back before the walls close up completely?"

Scotty takes a quick unnecessary glimpse down at his PADD before replying.

"24 hours max, but I would nae leave it any later than 20. Better to be safe than sorry."

Jim nods his head, as he walks back round to his chair and sits down in it. He takes his Spock's hand and this time clasps it on the surface of the table to demonstrate to those in the room what, or should he say who, is his number one priority.

"Okay, 20 hours it is. That gives me time to say good-bye to a few people and to ensure that this ship is ready for Spock to take over, Then if all goes to plan we will be gone."

First officer Spock stands from his chair and places his hands behind his back, where they grip each other tightly. His eyes, which have rarely left his captain during this whole meeting, seem resolute. Kirk is pretty sure that the Vulcan is trying to discover a way to keep them there. The mental growl his own Spock shoots down the bond tells him that they are in agreement when it come to the motives of the Vulcan from this universe.

"What am I to tell the rest of the crew when they discover that you are gone, Captain? Have you thought about that, or do you not care?"

Everyone turns to face Spock in shocked astonishment because of the obvious abrasive tone coming from Spock. Nyota starts tugging on his sleeve, silently begging him to take a seat, so that there might be a little less tension in the room, but Spock won't budge.

Jim sees it for the challenge it is and stands to meet it, his hands crossing over his chest.

"Tell them what ever you wish, Commander. You can tell them the truth, that I died in a transporter accident... that I was attacked and killed by a heard of rabid tribble. It's totally up to you. Whatever you say will become the truth seeing as how no one can just skip over into another dimension and ask me to corroborate your story."

Spock's angry glare turns to McCoy, who has been sitting silently during the whole meeting with an almost sad smile on his face.

"You have been unusually quiet, Doctor McCoy. What is you opinion on this matter? Surely as the the Captain's friend, you are against him leaving?"

The sad smile turns into a knowing smirk as the doctor looks up at the Vulcan and waggles his finger.

"You, Commander, have once again shown that you know nothin' of basic human relationships or feelings. A true friend would not hold another back, especially when concerning love and happiness. Also, Jimmy is a big boy. He is old enough to make his own decisions and there is not a goddamn thing I could do to stop him once he has set his mind to something... if I wanted to, that is."

Jim shoots his friend a grateful look. "Thanks, Bones." He then claps his hands to gain the attention of everyone in the room, and to also signal that this meeting is wrapping up.

"Well guys, Alpha shift is going to start soon, so it's best that we end this here so you can head off to your stations. Spock, you are in command because I am still on medical leave, and I don't see myself taking over before I leave, so take this time to get used to the captain's chair. Well meet up for the final... I guess switch over, after I pack a few things and say my good-byes. Dismissed everyone."

Chekov jumps out of his seat, runs over to Kirk and engulfs him in a bone-crushing hug. Jim is shocked for a moment but then regains his wits and hugs the young man back. After releasing the captain, Pavel swipes at his eyes, where tears have formed, and give a regulation perfect salute. Sulu comes to stand next to the Russian and places a hand on the young man's arm. The other hand extends to Jim in invitation.

"Sad to lose you, Captain. I still owe you."

Jim takes the Asian's hand and shakes it firmly. He would disagree with Sulu about being owed anything, but he knows that if someone had jumped off an _extremely_ high platform to try and save him, he would feel indebted also. As he lets go of Sulu's hand, he decides to help the pilot out a little with his predicament.

"Help take care of this ship and it's crew and I'll consider us even."

Sulu nods determinedly and then guides, a still slightly weepy, Chekov out of the door.

McCoy just waves and mouths "later" before he too has gone.

Scotty, whose eyes are still glued to the monitor of his PADD, starts making his way to the exit, but before he leaves he mentions that he will meet up with Jim and the other Spock an hour before departure time to ensure that everything is set.

The only people who are left in the conference room are the two Spocks, Nyota, and Jim, who all are standing kind of awkwardly around the table. Jim is confused as to why his XO and communications officer are still here. There really can't be any more to say.

"Was there anything else, Mr Spock?"

The Spock in blue goes to open his mouth, but quickly slams it shut again. He throws one more glare in the direction of his counterpart before turning on his heels and practically stalking out of the room. All three remaining occupants watch him leave with different feelings. Spock in satisfaction, Jim in relief, and Nyota in confusion. Uhura, with the same look of puzzlement She quickly turns her attention to the captain and his bond-mate, who is indistinguishable from her own husband.

"I really don't know what his problem is, Kirk. It's not like you two were ever close."

Jim shrugs non-committally and mentally begs Spock through the bond to keep his mouth shut.

"Some misguided sense of duty, perhaps."

Nyota hesitates for a moment before gesturing in agreement.

"Yeah, most likely. He is extremely loyal."

Spock laugh out right, but stops when Jim elbows him in the ribs and gives him a sharp look."

Uhura is frozen to the spot, not sure how to react to a Spock openly showing his emotions, but she manages to come back to her senses and address the Spock before her.

"Um... there is one thing I wanted to ask you. What does 't'hy'la' mean? It is obviously Vulcan, but I have never heard of it before until you said it."

Jim and Spock glance at each other, silently communicating, before turning back to Uhura. Spock, with slight reluctance, answers her.

"It is an endearment used when a specific set of criteria are met in a mate. It was used during the pre-reform days of Vulcan, but is now largely neglected. If you wish to know more, I suggest you talk with your husband on the matter. It is his responsibility to inform you in matters such as this."

The communications officer is smart enough to know that she has been given the brush off, and with a small bow of her head, she leaves Spock and Kirk alone.

Spock wastes no time in taking Jim's hand and practically dragging him out of the conference room and towards the turbo-lift. They make the trip to Jim's quarters in silence and both are pleased that they run into very few crew member on the way. Less questions that would need to be answered.

Once inside the room, Spock grabs the bottom of Jim's tunic and under shirt and pulls them over the blonde's head. He then begins unbuckling Kirk's pants, but the Human halts his progress by slapping his hands away.

"Sorry love, but I am really too tired to have sex right now, and I have people to call for final farewells."

Spock grins at him and resumes divesting his bond-mate of his trousers. Jim lets him go because he is just to tired to fight it.

"That is a lucky coincidence, because we will not be having sex. I am undressing you so that you will be comfortable once you get into your bed for sleep. Before you do anything else you must rest. Your good-byes can wait six hours at least. "

Kirk smiles sheepishly as he kicks off his boots and steps out of his pants. Dressed in only his briefs and socks, Jim is led to the bed by his Vulcan husband, who pulls back the covers and gently coaxes the blond to lay down. The moment Jim's head hits the pillow he can feel himself being pulled under by sleep as he rolls on his side, but he fights it.

"Will you stay with me?"

As his eyelids start to drift closed, he can hear the rustle of clothing and then feel as the mattress beneath him dips. Spock's body presses flush against Jim's back, and a heated arm positions itself over the Human's waist. Kirk can feel Spock's warm breath against the back of his neck and it helps to lull him further into slumber.

"Always, James. I will always stay with you. Now rest, beloved."

The last thing Jim is aware before sleep takes him, is the kiss to the back of his neck and the fingers combing through his hair. Content washes through him at the contact.

**/**

**Next chapter Jim tries to say goodbye to a few people, but things don't go as expected.**


	18. Chapter 18

**So here it is. This chapter has a lot of angst, but non of it really has anything to do with douche Spock... at least not yet.**

**Thank you to T'Arrah for beta-ing. She does a great job. The reason my work is usually still ridlled with mistakes is because I always add a lot after I get it back.**

** Star Trek isn't mine.**

**/**

**/**

The soft press of lips at the back of his ear and the hand working lazy circles on his abdomen is what finally pulls Jim from his sleep. He pushes back into Spock, trying to bury himself in the warmth and encourage more kissing. He groans in disappointment when the hand at his stomach stops moving and the neck kissing ceases.

"I am sorry I woke you, Ashayam, but it I could not stop myself from touching you. Especially when you kept murmuring my name in your sleep."

Jim blushes, embarrassed by the fact that Spock caught him while he was dreaming about him, but then he remembers that this man is his husband. Kirk doesn't have to hide his desire from _this_Spock.

A hand is on Jim's shoulder and it is gently pushing him so that he is laying on his back. Spock is resting on one elbow, looking down at Kirk earnestly.

"You do not have to hide anything from me, James. Particularly not if it is your desire for me. It is extremely pleasing to me knowing that you find me arousing."

The Vulcan leans down and places a chaste kiss on his bond-mate's lips. Jim wraps his arms around Spock's neck trying to deepen the kiss, but Spock pulls free, using his superior strength. Kirk pouts as he watches Spock elegantly climb out of the bed and start dressing himself.

"I am sorry to, as you would say, 'pull the pin' on our activities, but you should spend the remainder of your time contacting the individuals you wish to say good-bye to, and pack what you wish to take with you."

Jim can't keep the whine from his voice, as his bottom lip juts out further.

"Sex won't take that long. I can be quick."

Spock rolls his eyes in mock exasperation and smiles.

"That is one activity that we participate in which I never wish to rush. We will have plenty of time for intercourse once we return to the other universe."

Jim huffs sullenly.

"Fine, I guess sex can wait, but I expect you to make it up to me."

Spock's face disappears for a moment as he puts on his black under shirt, but when it reappears, Jim can see that the Vulcan is trying to hold back his laughter. Spock gives a little cough, obviously trying to regain control before he speaks again.

"That will not be a chore, t'hy'la. Now, I will leave you to your calls. I am going to venture down to sickbay and retrieve your medical information from Doctor McCoy. It will hopefully not take too long. Comm me if you need me."

Kirk sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed, nodding while he stretches.

"Sounds like a plan."

Spock walks to the door, but then spins to face Jim once more. Kirk's eyebrows shoot up in question. Spock actually looks worried.

"If I do not return in 30 minutes it means that Doctor McCoy has killed me. As my bond-mate, it will be your job to care for my corpse and avenge my death."

Jim throws his head back and laughs.

"Thanks for telling me, but I'm sure you'll be fine. Just don't look directly into his eyes and if he starts to get agitated, just offer him a tumbler of brandy or a serving of grits."

Spock solemnly bows his head in acknowledgement, but the effect is ruined by the slight tilt of his lips.

"I am appreciative of you advice, t'hy'la. Farewell and pray for me."

Spock is gone and Jim is left chuckling to himself as he makes his way over to the comm unit on his desk.

Jim dials in Sam's code for his home on Ganjitsu, where he lives with his fiancée Aurelan. He is slightly confused when he gets feedback telling him that the comm code he is using is incorrect. Kirk shrugs it off and decides to contact Sam directly at his work, thinking that Sam must have changed his code and forgotten to tell him. He types in the second code his brother gave him over two years ago and waits. A connection is made and a bored looking woman in her mid 30's appears on the screen.

"**Ganjitsu Laboratories, micro-biology division. How my I help you?"**

Jim clears his throat. "Uh yeah, hi. My name is Captain James T. Kirk. I was wondering if I could speak with my brother, George Samuel Kirk?"

The woman's bored expression turns to one of confusion as she stares at Jim. She glances away quickly, before her eyes once again fix on Kirk. She is now looking extremely uncomfortable.

"**Sorry, sir, but that is not possible. Dr Kirk and his wife don't work here any more. They left for Deneva 6 months ago."**

Kirk blushes embarrassment. A total stranger has had to tell him that his own bother not only got married, but moved to another planet without telling him. Not a single word. He sits up a little straighter in his chair and and tries to grasp what is left of his dignity. He needs to wipe that pitying look off her face.

"Oh, that's right. I totally forgot. I don't know where my brain has been at the last couple of days. Sorry to have bothered you."

Jim disconnects the call before the woman can reply and he buries his face in his hands.

_'He didn't even tell me about the wedding. Not inviting me is one thing, but not even fucking telling me! I know we aren't super close, but that is still something you tell your bother.'_

He wallows in his anger and disappointment for a couple of minutes, but then shakes himself out of it... both figuratively and literally. He was not quite prepared for the dizziness that would ensue, and so has to wait another minute for that to pass before he comms his mother. Maybe she can shed some light on things with Sam.

Kirk knows that he will at least get through to her, because as a captain in Starfleet he can find out where anyone is stationed though the network... including his mother. He knows that she is currently on a 2 year mission on the USS Sentry as the chief engineer. Jim sighs. She has the position she always wanted, but it came at a price... her family. He quickly wipes the bitter look off his face as the call connects.

"**Whoever this is, I have five minutes before I have to report for duty, so make it quick."**

Jim rolls his eyes as he stares at the empty room on the comm screen.

_'Typical mom. Too busy to even sit down and answer the comm properly.'_

"Hey mom. You think you can actually sit down so your youngest son has a face to put to the voice?"

He hears a small groan and what sounds like his mother muttering "Always had to be the centre of attention." Winona slumps into the chair with a huff and looks at her son with a barely concealed put-upon expression.

"**What is it Jimmy? I'm a little busy right now."**

Funnily enough, Jim is used to this from his mother. She never had much time for him, and when she was with him it was always really evident to him that she would have preferred to be somewhere else. A lot of people would say that she was a bad mother, but not Jim. You had to actually be around to be considered a bad mother and she was rarely ever around.

"Well mom, I know that we haven't been real close, but I-"

Winona scowls at Kirk as she cuts him off angrily.

"**Oh and I bet you are gonna blame me for that, aren't you, Jimmy? Someone had to work so that you could have a roof over your head and food on your plate. I did the best I could with what I had and if that makes me the monster you like to paint me then fine. I can't believe you called me to bring this up... again!"**

Jim doesn't understand how this got so messed up so quickly. He just wanted to say good-bye, not dredge up the past that he knows is better left alone. He jumps in quickly to try and salvage the conversation.

"I wasn't going to say anything of the sort, mom. I just-"

She cuts him off again, venom dripping from every word.

"**You never do, do you, Jim. But somehow you still always manage to get your message across. You are so skilled at making people feel guilty for things with just a few choice words. No wonder your brother didn't invite you to the wedding."**

Jim reels back in his seat as if the older woman had reached through the screen and slapped him.

"You knew about the wedding and you didn't' think it strange that you other son wasn't there?"

Winona sighs and shakes her head.

"**Jim, where ever you go, chaos always follows. Do you really blame Sam for wanting his special day to be free of that?"**

Kirk uses all his willpower to fight back the tears that are threatening to fall as hears what his family actually thinks of him. He knows that he wasn't perfect in the past, but he is pretty sure that saving the Earth and becoming a captain of a star ship shows that he has matured. He coughs to clear the lump in his throat and to ensure that his voice doesn't crack when he speaks again.

"No, I guess I don't. I have gotten better though, mom. I'm actually bonded to a-"

Jim wants to scream as his mother talks over him yet again, her voice now condescending.

"**Look, Jimmy. I don't really have time for 'let's deal with Jim Kirk's emotional issues' right now. I have a job to do, and now thanks to you, I am gonna be late. I'll comm you when I have some free time. Love you."**

Before Jim can even open his mouth to reply, the screen in front of him goes black. He stares at it in shock. A broken sob escapes his lips, and the tears he has been trying to hold back finally fall. His elbows rest on the desk and he covers his face with his hands, crying almost hysterically.

He doesn't hear the door open and close, or the rushed footsteps, but he feels the hands on his upper arms as they pull him to a standing position. He is turned around, and pulling into his bond-mate's comforting embrace.

_'It is okay to cry, James. You are hurt and need to work through your pain. I am here with you. Lean on me.'_

Jim's arms come up around Spock's waist, and he burrows his face further into the Vulcan's neck. The sobbing continues as Spock rubs his husband's back. He whispers words of comfort that Kirk can't quite make out, and begins stepping back towards the bed. Spock sits on the edge of the mattress and gently guides Jim onto his lap. He lightly rocks the Human as the tears slowly subside. Jim mumbles something against Spock's neck as he begins to regain his breath.

"What was that, t'hy'la? I did not hear you."

Jim lifts his head and his red rimmed eyes meet Spock's concerned ones.

"How did you know?"

Spock brushes a thumb against Kirk's cheek, wiping away a stray tear.

"The bond. I tried to give you some privacy, but your pain broke through all of my shields. I could feel it as though it was my own, and I knew that you needed me. I ran as fast as I could. Doctor McCoy must think that I am quite mad after I dashed out of sickbay while we were in the middle of a conversation."

Jim doesn't say anything. He doesn't even laugh about the thing with Bones. He just nods and drops his head back to Spock's shoulder and takes a few shuddering deep breaths. He had always had a rocky relationship with his family, but this conversation has shown him exactly how bad it is. It had never been that vicious before. It is possible that his mother had said those harsh words because she was tired and stressed, but the feelings behind those words had to have come from somewhere.

_'Maybe she's right.'_

Jim is pulled tighter against Spock, and he can not only hear the growl that escapes the Vulcan, but can also feel it.

_'She was not! Whatever you may have done in the past, you did not deserve anything she said to you. Your brother also was unnecessarily cruel. They will both come to know what they have lost with time.'_

Kirk takes one last deep, soothing breath and breaks away from Spock's grasp. He gets to his feet and holds his hand out to Spock. The Vulcan takes it, and they are both standing facing each other. Jim rubs his fingers over the back of Spock's hand and smiles slightly when Spock's breath hitches.

"I guess they both made it easier for me to leave. I should be thankful for that."

Before Spock can reply, Jim lets go of his hand and shrugs his shoulders. He steps away from his bond-mate and walks back over to the comm unit. Spock just watches, puzzled.

"What are you doing, ashayam?"

Kirk begins typing in a code, his eyes fixed to the screen. His whole body is tense. After the last two phone calls he has made he figures that it is better to be prepared for a really shitty outcome. It doesn't hurt less if you know the pain is coming, but it is easier to manage once it comes.

"I'm finishing my good-byes. Pike is next."

Spock grabs the seat from next to the bed and places it just behind and to the left of the blond. He wants anyone else that Jim contacts to know that he has back-up. It takes him very little effort to look intimidating.

It only takes a couple of seconds before Christopher Pike's face fills the comm screen.

"**Oh Jim, it is so good to see that you are up and around. First you disappear to god-knows-where, and then when you do get brought back you fall into a coma. You are going to send me to an early grave, son."**

Jim ducks his head sheepishly.

"Sorry, Chris. I didn't mean to worry you. It was all sort of out of my control."

Kirk nearly jumps when Spock places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes it, trying to give Jim his silent support. Pike is waving his hand and shaking his head at Jim's comment, so he doesn't see the gesture at first.

"**Of you didn't mean for any of it to happen, Jim. I don't bla-"**

Spock and Jim know that it is at that moment that Chris has seen the intimacy between them. The Admiral's eyebrows shoot up.

"**I see that you and your first officer are finally getting along. I don't need to know the details though."**

Kirk shifts awkwardly.

"Yeah... this isn't exactly _my_first officer."

Pike's brow farrows in confusion for a moment, but then realisation hits and he groans.

"**Jim, are you starting a collection or something? Normally I wouldn't dissuade anyone from taking up a hobby, but don't you think this universe has enough Spock's in it already?"**

Kirk chuckles. Pike is truly awesome. His smile drops as his brain quickly informs him that this will probably be the last time he gets to talk to the man who is as close to a father as he is ever going to get. Pike picks up the change in Jim and sobers, waiting patiently for him to talk. It demonstrates yet again that this man has always been able to read Jim. It feels nice to know that has someone besides Bones, and now his Spock, who can do that.

"Don't worry, Pike. It will all be sorted in no time. I didn't actually call because of ships business. I wanted a personal chat. I feel it is past time that I told you how I feel. You have been like a father to me. Without your support and your faith in me I could never have accomplished what I have. I would still be in Iowa drinking myself stupid if it wasn't for you. Thanks for seeing me and not just my father's son."

Chris Pike's face shows signs of panic as he leans closer to the screen. His gazes shoots over to Spock before coming back to rest on Jim.

"**That sounded suspiciously like good-bye, son. Your aren't planning on doing anything stupid, are you?"**

Jim tries not to fidget under Pike's hard stare. He plasters on his best reassuring smile. He wants to tell Pike the truth, but he knows that the Admiral will find a way to get him to stay. He can't risk it. He will settle for half truths.

"Of course not, Admiral. I just felt that after everything I have recently gone through that you should know how important you are to me, just in case something happens again and I don't come back from it. That's all."

Pike's eyes narrow as he scans Kirk's face. Jim has never been more happy for his weekly poker games with Scotty, Chekov and Sulu, because they have helped him improve his acting immensely.

Chris leans back in his chair and nods.

"**Well if that is the case, then thank you. It is good to know that you see me as more than a man that knew your father. Your like a son to me and it pleases me to know that I have been able to demonstrate that to you. I'll talk to you soon, Jim. Bye... other Spock. Have a safe journey."**

Spock nods, while Jim carefully picks his parting words. He decides that simple and casual is best. Pike is just too smart for his own good for Jim to risk getting too deep.

"Bye, Chris. Thanks again."

Kirk scrambles for the disconnect button before Pike can see the tears that are starting to form. Strong arms encircle him and Spock's chin rests on his shoulder.

"It seems that Christopher Pike is a good man in any universe. I am sorry that you will lose him. Hopefully Doctor McCoy will explain to him what has happened to you, so that his grief will be lessened once he finds out we have gone."

Jim is about to tell Spock that that will probably be the first thing Bones will do, but suddenly his focus is back on the comm unit, as a constant beeping emanates from it. He turns it on and is slightly taken back by the angry face staring back at him. Not that someone being angry at him is much of a surprise, but the fact that the someone is Selik.

Kirk can sense Spock's whole body go taut against him before the Vulcan lets him go, and sits more fully in his seat. He pulls his seat closer to Jim and is now directly next to him. Jim wants to find out what is up now with his Spock, but decides that he should deal with the angrier looking Vulcan still glaring at him from the screen.

"**You are a fool, James T. Kirk! Did you truly believe that I would not find out about your plan?"**

Kirk shakes his head. "I was just about to call-"

"**I have not finished speaking, Jim. I just got off the comm with my younger counter-part, who told me everything. I am not pleased."**

Spock growls at the older Vulcan, while Jim's eyes narrow in anger. He loves Selik, but he is beginning to lose his patience.

"I bet he didn't tell you _everything._There are things I'm sure he left out."

Selik's rage seems to be rising along with Jim's. His next words are almost snarled.

"**You cannot possibly be contemplating leaving your rightful t'hy'la, to go gallivanting over to another universe with a Vulcan who is plainly the most selfish creature in all existence?"**

Red fills Kirk's vision and his slams his fists on the desk. Both Spock's look at him in shock.

"Don't speak about my bond-mate that way! You don't know anything about him."

Selik's eyes go wide.

"**You have bonded?"**

Through all the anger still bubbling inside of him, Jim can feel some self-satisfaction begin to form at the fact that his first officer obviously did leave some things out when explaining the situation to Selik.

"Okay, so you listened to my XO's side of the story. Now it's time for you to hear mine."

* * *

><p>It takes half an hour for Jim to explain to Selik what had been happening with the other universe, bonding with his Spock, returning to this universe, the big decision he faced, and his first officer's not-so-generous offer. Selik's face revealed very little emotion until the last part of Kirk's speech and then there was no hiding the shock and anger.<p>

"**I am truly disgusted with my counter-part's behaviour. Even desperation is no excuse for what he has said to you, Jim. I am sorry that I jumped to conclusions. I am afraid that in my old age I have let my emotions get the best of me."**

Spock was the first to address the reproachful old Vulcan.

"You are not at fault, Elder. The Spock of this universe seems to be an adept at manipulation. He knew how much my bond-mate respects you and tried to take advantage of that fact. He was unsuccessful in convincing James to stay and most probably thought you would have better luck."

Selik tilts and stares at Spock with what looks like admiration and a touch of pride.

"**That is a very logical hypothesis and is what I believe to be correct."**

Spock bows his head. "Thank you. I am honoured you think so, Elder."

Jim watches the whole exchange with a small smile on his lips. He is happy to see at least two Spock's finally getting along. It took meeting four of them for it to happen, but he eventually got to see it. He decides to cut in on this little love fest and do what he needs to do.

"Hey Selik, now that we have all the misunderstandings cleared up, maybe I can get on with what I was going to call you about."

Selik's eyebrow goes up questioningly and his lips tilt up in a minute smile.

"**And what would that be, Jim?"**

Kirk takes a deep breath as he prepares himself for the emotions that are bound to be released. Spock takes his and squeezes it as a sign of support.

"Good-bye. As you know, I am going back with my bond-mate to the other universe... and it looks like it won't be possible for me to come back. Once I go that's it, but I can't go until I have said good-bye to you, my friend. There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank the powers that be for putting me on that ice planet and allowing me to meet you. You gave me the confidence to become the captain you believed me to be and made me believe in such a thing as destiny."

Jim glances at a Spock with an expression just shy of worship, before he turns back to Selik, who is looking at the pair with contentment shining in his eyes.

"**No thanks is necessary, Jim. You are t'hy'la, I had to do what I could to ensure your happiness. You found that happiness in a different place then I thought you would, but I should not be surprised that you discovered it by walking the road less travelled. I am saddened that this is good-bye, but I am comforted by the fact that you will be with, who I now believe to be, you true t'hy'la.**"

Jim swallows down the sob that is trying to escape and gives the old man a watery smile.

"Thanks, Selik. Don't be too hard on my first officer when I'm gone. Yes, he is a douche of the highest order, but he is still Spock, and god help me, I have a soft spot for Vulcans with that name."

Selik actually laughs, and over to Jim's side Spock also releases a small chuckle.

"**Do not worry. I believe that my younger self will be 'kicking himself' enough for the both of us. I promise that I will try to help him through the pain of losing you, but when necessary I might have to remind him that is was of his own doing. Now I will leave you, because you no doubt have many things to do before your journey. Live a long and happy life, Jim. I will miss you greatly."**

Jim manages to croak out a response, as he places his hand on the screen, wishing he could touch Selik's face.

"Love you, Spock."

Jim feels that if this is the last time he is going to say the elderly Vulcan's name then it should be his real one. The joyous smile that graces Selik's face tells him that he made the right call.

The old Vulcan reaches out and then the screen goes black. Jim doesn't waste a second. He launches himself at Spock, once again burying his face into the Vulcan's warm shoulder and cries.

"I have never cried this much in my life."

Spock does not respond to the murmured statement. He just holds Kirk closer, running his hands through his husbands short blond hair and sending waves of love through their bond until the tear finally stop.

**/**

**Sam actually did work or study on Ganjitsu (in TOS canon) and the ship Winona is on is real too. **

**Hopefully I will have the next chapter up in a weeks time, but it might be a little longer. I haven't even started on it, which is rare for me. It doesnt help that I have recently become obsessed with Iron man/Captain America fanfiction, which is taking up all my time. I still love Kirk/Spock, but when a new obsession hits me, it hits me hard.**

**I promise I won't leave you hanging too long.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry to keep you waiting, but I have been busy with work, study and I also managed to cut open one of my fingers (8 stitches). Because of all this the chapter is smaller than I usually write, but it is better than nothing.**

**WARNING: This chapter alludes to possiblenon-con and rape (none actually takes place), so it could be a trigger for some readers. I don't think it is that bad, but it is better safe than sorry.**

**Thank you to T'Arrah for being my Beta.**

**Star Trek isn't mine.**

**/**

**/**

It takes close to an hour for Kirk to unwrap his arms from Spock and stand under his own steam. Spock follows him to his feet and watches as Jim gives him a reassuring smile.

"I'm okay now. I feel good. Thanks for putting up with me while I let it all out. I bet you regret bonding with me now after seeing all my baggage that I have been carrying for a while now."

He is trying to hide his insecurities behind humour, but from the look on Spock's face, Jim knows that he hasn't fooled anyone. Spock leans in and brushes a light kiss against Jim's cheek before his lips move to his ear.

"I regret nothing. Discovering how your family has neglected you only makes me more determined to ensure that no one is able to hurt you like that again. You will always have me, James. I will protect you."

Kirk's face lights up in a smile and he turns to give Spock a solid kiss on the lips before stepping away. He glances about the room, placing his hands on his hips and his expression is one of exaggerated concentration.

"I think we should start packing up the things that I am going to take with me. We don't have much time left and I still have to meet with Mr Spock to make sure he is ready to take over."

Jim can hear the small growl that leaves Spock's throat at the mention of his counter-part, but he simply nods.

"That seems like the logical thing to do."

_'Though__I__don't__like__it'_goes unsaid, but Jim hears it anyway.

Spock moves towards the bookshelf without another word and begins stripping it of Jim's books, placing them carefully on the desk at his side. Kirk wants to laugh at the fact that his bond-mate is still jealous of his other self, but bites it back knowing that it will only cause Spock to become further agitated. He is just happy that Spock is being the bigger Vulcan here and trying not to show how how upset he is about the other first officer.

Kirk, biting his lip, walks over to the replicator and programs in a couple of large boxes. He watches as Spock delicately handles his treasured novels and waits for the boxes to be made.

They're halfway through packing Kirk possessions when Spock remembers that he was in such a rush to get back to Jim, he forgot to grab the disk with the medical files he needed from McCoy. Jim offers to go and retrieve it, explaining that it will be a good opportunity to say a private goodbye to his best friend.

"You know what is left to be packed, and I really do owe it to Bones to say a proper farewell. He hates doing that sort of thing in front of other people. I won't be long, ashayam."

Spock seems hesitant, but he eventually agrees.

"I will not stand in the way of you talking with your friend, but could you please comm me once you arrive at Sickbay. I do not believe that my other self has yet given up on you and I worry that he may corner you if he finds you alone."

Jim chuckles as he steps towards the door. "I really doubt that the other Spock is desperate enough to kidnap me, but I call if that makes you feel better."

Jim is out the door a second later, missing Spock's muttered words.

"One would be willing to do anything for one's t'hy'la. I should know."

* * *

><p>Kirk is just stepping of the turbo-lift and heading toward the sickbay located at the end of the hall when a hand reaches out and pulls him into an empty storage room. He is facing the door, which he watches close as he is pulled against a hard body. There is a strong arm around his waist and a warm hand against his mouth. He knows exactly who it is and he is mentally kicking himself for not taking his bond-mate's concerns more seriously.<p>

"I am sorry that I have had to take such drastic measures, but it was the only way I could ensure that we would have sufficient privacy."

Jim doesn't bother trying to speak. With the hand still pressed firmly against his mouth, there is no

way Spock will understand him. He doesn't relax though. He wants this Spock to know that he is completely uncomfortable in this situation and if he has to use his body to send that message, so be it.

"You must understand, Jim, I will do everything in my power to convince you to stay. I believe that once you see how sincere my regard is for you that you will change your mind and stay with me."

Kirk's body stiffens even further as he feels a hand come to rest on his abdomen and begins caressing the tight muscles there.

"Relax, Jim. I merely wish to show you how good we can be together if only you would give us a chance."

Jim tries to move away from the touch, but the solid body behind him and the firm hands holding him make that impossible. He can feel the soft press of lips on his neck. They are so familiar that his body begins to relax, but his mind stops that from happening. It is screaming at him that this is the wrong Spock and that he can't give in. It helps that the mental connection that he has with his Spock is not present with this one.

Tears of frustration and a little fear begin to trail down Kirk's cheeks and land on Spock's hand that is still covering Jim's mouth. The Vulcan pulls him even closer and is whispering words of comfort into Jim's neck, but it only makes the tears flow faster. Jim is practically sobbing when the door in front of him swishes open to reveal a shocked McCoy and a furious Spock... his Spock. Relief like Kirk has never experienced washes over him at the sight. The Vulcan holding Jim lets him go quickly, and it is Bones who pulls Jim out of the room. The doctor manoeuvre his shaking friend behind him and turns back to face the Spock of his ship.

"What the hell were you doing with Jim in here, Mr Spock? And your answer better be fucking good."

The Spock in science blue lifts am eyebrow at the language and responds.

"I was merely speaking with the Captain. Am I now no longer allowed to have a simple discussion with my commanding officer?"

Doctor McCoy's arms cross over his chest and he gives Spock an incredulous look.

"Not when that 'conversation' takes place inside a storage room and one person is obvioulsly held there against his will. Jim was crying for godsake. It is evident that what ever you were doing was not kosher, Spock."

The Spock in black, who has been clenching and unclenching his fists during his counter-part and McCoy's conversation, finally snaps and lunges for the Vulcan in blue. Before Jim and Bones can stop him, he has one hand around the other Spock's neck and raining down punches with the other hand.

"I told you that I would kill you if you ever touched my bond-mate again. Did you believe that I spoke in jest? Does my fist now demonstrate how serious I am? Am I making myself clear now?"

Just before he can land another punch, Jim's hand grabs a hold of his fist. Spock's head snaps to the side to find his bond-mate's pleading eyes locked onto his.

"Enough, Spock. Let him go. Hurting him won't solve anything."

Spock turns back to his other self and glares.

"Killing him might."

A soft cool hand pulls his gaze away from his target and he is once again staring into Kirk's clearly upset face.

"No, it won't. It will only cause more problems. We can't get out of here if you are in the brig for murder. I just want you and Bones to get me out of here. Please."

At the sound of desperation in his husband's voice, Spock releases the other first officer and instead wraps his arms around Jim. He begins to lead Jim back out the door, but the Human stops him. Kirk looks over at his, now bloodied and bruised, first officer with a mix of pity, anger and resolution. He waits until he is sure that he has the Vulcan's attention before speaking.

"Whatever small affection I may have felt for you has now been destroyed for good. Now all I feel is disgust. I only have a few more hours on this ship. If you come near me again during that time I will kill you myself. Do I make myself clear, Commander?"

The Spock in blue rubs his neck gingerly before responding.

"Yes, sir. I do have one query though. How will we conduct our meeting concerning the transfer of command if I cannot be in close proximity to you?"

McCoy answers before Jim can even open his mouth.

"That's an easy one. You won't be having a goddamn meeting. You haven't needed Jim's help in the past when you have taken command and he can easily send you any documents you need straight to your computer. You aren't getting another opportunity to do whatever you were planning to do. I promise you that, you green-blooded hobgoblin."

For the first time since that moment on the bridge during the Nero incident the Spock of this universe looks lost.

"I... I was not planning to-"

McCoy cuts him off. "Save it, Mr Spock. I may not have as high an intellect as a Vulcan, but I don't need one to figure out what would have happened if me and Jim's _bond-mate_didn't interrupt you. You are lucky Jim is leaving or else I would have you up on charges."

The angry doctor turns away from Spock and gestures towards Sick-bay, waiting for Jim and his Spock to take the lead. The couple leave without anyfurther prompting, and with one final glare at the Vulcan still inside the storage room, McCoy follows them.

* * *

><p>Once Jim is safely inside Bones' office, he collapses into a chair and drops his head into his hands. His Spock is standing behind him, with his hands resting on his shoulders, and McCoy is pacing the room. He is obviously still pissed.<p>

"I cannot believe that goddamn Vulcan! You pine after him for months and he barely looks in your direction, but then when you are happy with somebody else, he practically rapes you."

Jim rolls his eyes. "I think you might be over-exaggerating things a tad, Bones."

The hands resting on Kirk's shoulders flex slightly before Spock speaks.

"I do not think Doctor McCoy is over-exaggerating anything, James. I firmly believe that if the good doctor and I did not find you when we did then my counter-part would have 'had his way with you'."

Jim can't help but laugh at Spock's wording, even though he knows it is a serious matter. From the glare he is getting from Bones, it appears that the older man does not see the humour in the situation.

"This isn't a joking matter, Jim. As a Vulcan, you XO could have very easily overpowered you. I know you said to just leave it, but I really should report him to Starfleet in case he does it to someone else. At least let me tell Uhura. She should know what kind of scum-bag she married."

Jim shakes off Spock's hands that have been massaging his knotted shoulders, gets to his feet and stands before his best friend, shaking his head.

"He won't do it to anyone else. A Vulcan has only one t'hy'la and once I am gone he won't even have that. Also, I don't feel right telling Uhura, when I believe that this behaviour is only temporary. I am not going to destroy her life when the easier solution is for me to just leave. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss, and I want to give her that."

McCoy shakes his head as though he is going to argue, but then he pulls Jim into a fierce hug. Kirk's own arms come around to circle his best friend to return the embrace. Bones' chin rests near the crook of Jim's neck and he releases a deep sigh.

"You are truly a good man, Jim. Too good for this place I think, so it makes sense that you should leave. God, I'm gonna miss you though."

Jim tightens his hold on the his friend and breathes in the smell of whiskey and peaches that became the scent of home for him years ago. He swallows the lump that had formed in his throat, as a new determination overtakes him.

"You could come with us. Two McCoys may be a little hard to handle, but it can't be as bad as two Spocks."

McCoy pulls away. The look on his face tells Jim the answer before the older man even opens his mouth to speak.

"I can't, Jim. I can't leave Joanna. It is bad enough that I am on this starship instead of in Georgia with her, but going to another universe would definitely place me in 'horrible father' territory. Don't get me wrong, losing you will be painful, but losing her would kill me."

Jim nods his head in understanding and pulls the doctor back in for a hug.

"And that is why you are the best man I know, Bones. Just know this, I don't care what either of the Scottys say. I am going to find a way back to visit... even if it takes me years to do it."

Something that sounds vaguely like a snort comes from Spock's direction. Both McCoy and Jim turn to the Vulcan, and both men place their hands on there hips, seemingly upset about the ruined moment. Spock seems only slightly apologetic as he addresses them.

"I am sorry for interrupting such a tender moment. It was not my intent. I just believe that Jim's plan to do the impossible is humorous."

Jim is beyond insulted. "Why? Do you think I can't do it? You think I'm not smart enough."

Spock's eyes widen as he hears the hurt in his bond-mate's voice and quickly moves towards Jim so he can clear up the misunderstanding.

"On the contrary, James. Not only do I think you are capable of finding a way back here so that you can visit your friend, but I also believe you will do it in a relatively short space of time. What I find humorous is that it seems that only you can make the impossible, possible. It is as if you were created to show us lesser beings how, as you would say, 'things are done'."

Kirk's expression turns to one of bashfulness. His face goes red and his eyes fall to the floor. He is almost about to start shifting on his feet, but the sound of Bone's exasperated voice stops him.

"Okay, enough with this lovey-dovey crap. I want to have a proper good-bye and that means we all need to take a seat and have some proper drinks."

Jim holds back a chuckle and Spock lifts an eyebrow, when a few moments later McCoy is pulling out a bottle of Romulan Ale from a secret compartment on his shelf.

**/**

**If you have any flames keep them to yourself. My belief is that if you don't like something then stop reading it. Insulting peoples hard work is rude and uncalled for. Reviews on the other hand are completely welcome.**

**I really don't know when I will update next, but I plan to have this story finished by the end of the month.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry, it has taken me so long to update. I have been really busy.**

**Thank you to T'Arrah for being my beta. All mistakes are still mine.**

**/**

**/**

Jim, Bones and Spock just finish their first glass of Romulan ale when the comm unit buzzes, followed by Scotty's heavily accented voice. Kirk activates the comm unit on McCoy's desk and addresses his chief engineer.

"Hey, Scotty. What can I do for you?"

There is a small crackle of static before Mr Scott responds.

"**Actually it is more of a case of what I can do for you, Captain. I just thought you would like to know that I have completed all my checks and the transporter is ready whenever you and your beau are."**

From the corner of his eye Jim spots Spock scowl, obviously not impressed with his new title. He tries to hold back a chuckle, knowing that the Vulcan would not be impressed.

_'Calm down, Spock. You know Scotty isn't the most culturally sensitive person around, but he never means to be insulting.'_

Spock mentally huffs in indignation.

_'The correct term is "bond-mate". "Husband" is acceptable, but not nearly as accurate. I do not understand why so many people on this ship find this concept difficult to grasp.'_

Jim tries to hold in his laughter, he really does, but Spock's mental voice, with its petulant tone, just breaks through all of his self control. He throws his head back and laughs loudly. McCoy is staring at him as if he is seriously contemplating running him through a psych evaluation, and he can practically hear Scotty's confusion through the speakers. Spock on the other hand is glaring at him, but Jim can see there is not real heat behind it.

"Sorry. Something funny just... popped into my head." He says to no-one in particular.

He smiles when his see the small twitch of Spock's lips. He loves the fact that this Spock can see the humor in things and actually react to it. It is times like this where he just knows that he is the luckiest man alive to be bonded to this Spock. The moment is short lived though when the sound of Mr Scott clearing his throat comes across the comm line.

"**Ah Captain, I donnae want to rush you, but I do have other things to do."**

Kirk focus reluctantly returns to Scotty.

"Of course, Scotty. Just give me a sec."

He turns back to Spock to have yet another mental conversation, but this time the discussion is about their departure plans. McCoy must have cottoned on to what the bond actually entails, because he just sits down and glances between Jim and Spock with a fascinated expression. Jim knows that if they had more time Bones would probably demand that he be allowed to run tests on the bond, seeing as how he would never get the chance otherwise (Vulcans being as secretive as they are and all). Once they come silently to an agreement, Jim addresses Scotty.

"Have the transporter ready in 15 minutes. That'll give me enough time to send my XO all the documents he might need and for me and my bond-mate Spock to drag all my things down and onto a pad."

He added the 'bond-mate' for Spock's benefit, knowing that Scotty wouldn't pick up such a subtle hint. By the appreciative smile on Spock's face, he knows that it didn't go unnoticed.

**Aye, Captain. Everything will be ready."**

The comm goes dead and Jim stands to his feet. Spock and McCoy are quick to follow suit. Bones grabs Jim and pulls him into a tight hug before letting him go again. If Kirk didn't know any better, he would swear that the doctor has tears in his eyes.

"Well, I guess this is it. You and your Vulcan better go get your shit together. You don't have much time before your flight leaves."

Kirk quickly jumps in before Spock points out that they will not be leaving on any devices that can fly. He may be more relaxed, but he is still far too literal most of the time.

"You're gonna be there, Bones? You know, when we leave?"

McCoy rolls his at Jim as if he has said the most ridiculous in the history of the universe (which Jim knows is absolutely not true. He has said far more ridiculous things, especially while under the influence of alcohol).

"Of course I will be there. Just don't expect me to get all touchy-feely. I don't do that crap when I have an audience."

Jim nods and then quickly grabs the sides of the, now startled, doctor's face and pulls him down to plant a kiss on his forehead. A second later he lets go of Bones and grabs a hold of Spock's hand, quickly dragging him out the door before McCoy can come back to his senses. They are just stepping into the hallway when Bones' loud voice reaches them.

"Goddammit Jim! Just because you're leaving doesn't mean you can slobber all over me like I'm a bloody hobgoblin!"

Both Spock and Jim chuckle at McCoy's mock indignation as they make their way back to Jim's quarters hand in hand.

* * *

><p>It is no surprise to Jim that when he and Spock walk into the transporter room, one box in each hand, every member of his bridge crew are standing there waiting. He always knew Scotty had a big mouth.<p>

He steps over to the transporter pad and deposits his box and then he turns to face his crew. His gaze lands on Chekov, who is, unsuccessfully, trying to hold back tears. Jim holds out his arms and the young man he thinks of as younger brother quickly steps into them. They hug for a moment and then pull away, giving Jim the opportunity to ruffle the young man's hair one last time.

"I'm sorry I can't be here to watch you become the man you were born to be, but at least I go away knowing that that man is going to be just as kick-ass as you are. It's a great comfort."

The young navigator gives him a watery smile. The boy swallows a few times, obviously trying to gather his voice, but all is manages to choke out is a quiet "I vill miss you, Keptin."

As Chekov steps back, Sulu steps forward. The Asian glances over Kirk's shoulder at his bond-mate, who is trying to stay out of the way, before letting his gaze once again rest on his captain.

"I still don't fully understand why you are going, but I do know that you wouldn't do anything without a good reason."

Sulu's serious expression soon turns playful. "If anything, I'm just pissed that I will never get the chance to jump of a moving platform with you again. Good times."

Jim laughs and slaps the pilot on the shoulder. "If memory serves me right, I was the only one who jumped. You fell."

Sulu shrugs. "Semantics."

Jim is about to argue further, but then one of Sulu's hands is thrust in front of him, so he closes his mouth and takes the offered hand instead.

"It won't be the same without you, Captain. Take care."

They shake for a moment longer and then Sulu lets go, moving to stand next to Chekov. He wraps his arm around the younger man, who is now openly sobbing in the far corner of the room.

Jim feels rather then sees his Spock move to stand next to him. He soon spots the reason why. Uhura is walking towards him, practically dragging her Spock behind her. Jim plasters on his most friendliest smile and he mentally shoves at Spock, so that he will do the same. When he risks a small glance over at his bond-mate he notes that there is no sign of a smile, but there is also no sign of the murderous rage he witnessed earlier. Lack of murderous rage is definitely a good thing in Jim's books, and the hand wrapping possessively around his waist was a nice added bonus.

When Kirk turned his head again he found Nyota standing in front of him with a hesitant smile. Her hand, the one that wasn't holding onto Spock's, was out-stretched. Jim took it gently and let her set the pace for the shake. It wasn't long before she was pulling back, smile still in place and nodding at him once. Jim can't help but feel warmed by this little encounter.

"You were an okay captain... when you weren't being a moron. We definitely could have had worse."

At those words, the warm feelings are gone. His smile falters for a moment, but then it is firmly back in place. He hopes no one saw the lapse. The hand tightening on his waist tells him that he is wishing in vain. He shouldn't be surprised by the fact that his Spock seems to pick up on everything, but it still does. He has never had anyone pay him such close attention before.

_'This is the woman you wish to protect? She does not deserve your kindness, ashayam.'_

Jim sighs mentally. _'That__may__be__so,__but__I__am__not__going__to__hurt__her__out__of__spite.__I'm__not__that__kind__of__person.'_

Spock doesn't agree with him, but he doesn't argue either. He just pulls him closer.

Jim's attention returns to the woman in front of him and he is just about to jokingly respond to Uhura's subtle jab when Scotty, who is fiddling about over at the control panel, addresses Nyota in a raised and more then a little agitated voice.

"James T. Kirk is the best captain any of us could have asked for. I'm willing to bet he saved your life at least once, Lieutenant. A little more respect should be shown, lassie. Especially since you will nae be seeing him again."

Everyone in the room has turned to Scotty. Nyota is gaping, but also blushing, which Jim thinks looks quite hilarious on her. His Spock agrees. Both Spock's are stone faced (though Jim's Spock has a twinkle in his eye directed at the engineer), and the others seem to staring at Mr Scott with a new found respect, especially McCoy. Scotty just shrugs at the attention and finally lifts his head to address Kirk.

"Captain, if it weren't for you, I would still be stuck on that ice rock. Also, you don't question any of my 'improvements'. I know I won't be that lucky a second time. What I'm trying to say is; I'm gonna miss you."

He keeps eye contact with Kirk for a second longer before dropping it once again to his beloved machines.

Everyone turns back to face Jim; except Uhura, who has skulked over in embarrassment towards the exit. Jim quickly notices that her husband has not followed her, but has instead held his ground before him. Jim steels himself for what is to come and hopes that his soon-to-be ex-first officer doesn't make a scene.

"I received the files you sent. They seem to be all in order. Thank you for taking the time to ensure that I am prepared for the job ahead of me."

Jim releases the breath he was holding and smiles at his XO successful attempt at professionalism. That, apparently, was a big mistake. Somehow the Vulcan in blue saw that smile as permission to try and take a hold of Kirk's arm to pull him away from his mate. Before the Vulcan can get a hold of him, Jim squirms out of the way, but not before he hears his first officer's whispered words.

"Stay with me, Jim."

No one else except Jim and his Spock hear the desperate words, but it is clear, by the way he is rushing over to them, that McCoy has realised what has just happened. He doesn't stick around to watch his best friend grab Spock by the shoulder, and instead pulls his beyond furious husband to the transporter pad. Spock makes a token effort to escape his grasp and go after his counterpart, but he would injure Jim if he broke his grip and Jim knows that his Spock would never intentionally cause him harm. He shamelessly uses that knowledge to his advantage.

Kirk looks over a Scotty, who is glancing between him and the CMO and XO who are silently facing off. When his gaze finally stops on Jim, he give the engineer a quick nod.

"I think it's about time you sent us on our way, Scotty."

Mr Scott salutes him and starts fiddling with the controls. The hum of the transporter activating fills the room and Jim looks around the room at the people that came to see him off. Some he considered friends. One he considered his best. The others... well, he knows he gained something from them being in his life. His eyes settle on Uhura, who is staring at her husband in confusion and what looks to be hurt. He makes a decision that he assumed he had already made, but apparently was still on the fence about. Jim can hear the sounds of the transporter change and he knows he only has moments left to do what he now feels he needs to do. He pulls out his PADD from his back pocket and quickly presses a few keys.

As the swirl of the transporter begins to surround him, he glances up and over at McCoy and blows a kiss. His friend, who is still holding other Spock's shoulder, shakes his head, but grins widely. He then turns to stare at Nyota. A rush of relief goes through him when he sees that he has accomplished his goal. She looks away from her husbands and reaches for her own PADD. Her eyes scan over the screen for a few seconds before they widen, rise and lock with Jim.

Just before the room disappears, Jim mouths the words "You had to know. Sorry."

The sad thing is that he actually is.

**/**

**There will be one more chapter (hopefully longer than this) and an epilogue. **

**Again, I should have everything written by the end of the month.**


	21. Chapter 21

**I know I promised this earlier, but I have been having a hard time of it lately. It is longer than the past couple of chapters, sot that is something.**

**Thank you to T'Arrah for being my beta.**

**Star Trek isn't mine.**

**/**

**/**

Jim hasn't even fully materialised when he is engulfed in an almost painful bear hug. Once the transporter beams finally dissipate, Jim gains enough of his bearing to figure out that he is back in the other universe. What clues him in to this fact is that 'his' Uhura would never try to kill him through a hug like this one is trying to do.

"Uh, I sort of need to breathe, Uhura."

She doesn't let go, if anything she holds him tighter.

"We were so worried about you. We thought you were dead, then we all thought Spock was going crazy, and then we thought we had lost you both to the other universe."

She finally lets him go, steps back and then punches him in the arm... hard.

"Ow! What was that for, Uhura?"

She rolls her eyes at his whining and jumps off the transporter platform. She steps over to Scotty and wraps an arm around the, relieved looking, engineer.

"That was for worrying us, of course. And call me Nyota, for goodness sake."

Jim smiles at that as he rubs his arm. He glances to his side and discovers that Spock is smirking.

"What about Spock? Doesn't he get a smack for worrying you as well?"

Scotty and Uhura turn to each other for a second and grin, before glancing over at Spock, who is

growing less smug by the second. Just like Jim he obviously can tell that they have something up their sleeves. Jim turns to McCoy, who is standing by the door with his arms crossed over his chest and has a glint in his eye. The doctor motions with his head towards the door and within seconds it whooshes open to reveal a very agitated looking middle-aged woman. The woman rushes into the room and heads straight for the transporter platform where Jim and Spock are still standing. As she gets closer, Kirk can't help but notice that there is something familiar about her eyes. He turns to Spock because he is getting nothing helpful through the bond, and is puzzled to find his bond-mate staring at this woman with a mix of affection, surprise, and a tinge of horror. Then the confusion leaves him as he takes in Spock's face, or more precisely his eyes. He can't be sure, since in his universe he never met her, but he thinks he knows who this woman is.

_'Ah. This is going to be interesting.'_

The woman jumps up onto the platform and hugs Spock. Spock is stock still for a moment, and then he is hugging her back. The woman soon lets go and just stares up at Spock for a few moments before her whole demure changes, and suddenly she flicks the tip of one of Spock's ears. Both Spock and Jim flinch at the action, Spock because it is his actual ear, and Jim because the sudden pain managed to make it's way through the bond.

"I comm to talk to you about plans for your upcoming birthday, only to find out, from the very nice Mr Scott, that you have travelled to another universe and that there is a chance you might not come back. You didn't even tell me you were bonded! A mother should be the first to know these things."

Jim's suspicions are confirmed by that last statement and he watches in amusement as Spock shuffles his feet and his mother in-law places her hands on her hips.

"I... I am sorry, Mother. There was no time to inform you. It was not long after we were bonded that the ship was attacked by Romulans. I also feared that if I informed you of my plans to retrieve James from the other universe that you might have tried to stop me."

All the anger drains out of the woman and she reaches out to caress Spock's face.

"I would never come between you and your bond-mate, Spock. Please, just give me a little warning next time. I nearly had a heart attack and I am of the age where I might not bounce back from one of those."

Before Spock can comment, his mother has dropped her hand from his cheek and steps over to Jim, who feels as though he has suddenly been shoved under a microscope with the way she looking him over. Her gaze finally meets his and she gives him a small smile.

"You must be my son's bond-mate, James. If you haven't already figured it out, I am his mother. You can call me Amanda."

She holds out her hand for him to shake, but Jim does one better. He takes her hand in his and lifts it so that he can kiss the back of it. He looks up through his eye lashes to find that Amanda is blushing slightly.

_'I've still got it.'_

_'Yes, you do, but could you not use 'it' on my mother. I find it extremely discomforting.'_

Kirk just ignores Spock and stays focused on not messing up with the one person he needs to actually impress. He releases Amanda's hand and tips an invisible hat to her.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Amanda. I have heard so many wonderful things about you from your son."

She tilts her head in the exact same way Spock does and her gaze once again travels up and down his body. Jim just stands there and lets her take her fill. He has never been embarrassed by appreciative stares and he isn't going to start now. Spock, on the other hand, seems to be getting more and more uncomfortable as the seconds pass by.

Amanda turns around to face her son and gives him a knowing look.

"I can understand why you travelled all that way to get him back, Spock. He is extraordinarily handsome, and a charmer to boot."

Spock's whole face goes green, flushing at his mother's words. Jim chuckles and from the corner of his eye he can see that Scotty, Uhura and McCoy (who at some stage joined them in front of the transporter pad) are trying valiantly to keep their amusement to themselves.

"Mother, this is an entirely inappropriate conversation topic. I would rather discuss how you managed to get on-board. I thought you were still on Vulcan."

Amanda doesn't get insulted, like anyone else would, by his words and instead simply shrugs.

"I was travelling to a human colony within communication range of your ship, and like I said before, I wanted to find out your plans for your birthday. When I discovered what had happened to you, I got the captain of my transport to drop me off here instead."

Jim decides that, although this little get together has been highly entertaining, he thinks it's time they move this to somewhere less open and a little more comfortable. His back is starting to hurt from standing in one spot for so long. He claps his hands to get their attention.

"I love this transporter room as much as the next person... okay, maybe not as much as Scotty, but I think we should move this to the conference room."

Kirk holds out his arm to Amanda, who does not hesitate to hook it with her own, and uses his free hand to take a hold of Spock's. All three step off the platform and head for the door, Uhura, Scotty and McCoy close on their heels.

In the hall, they pass a yeoman and Jim stops them for a moment so he can ask her to ensure that the boxes waiting in the transporter room are safely stored in Commander Spock's room. She nods and quickly scurries away, allowing Jim and his 'party' to carry on towards the conference room.

Once they were all seated, Jim jumped straight in. He had missed out on a lot and so had Spock, so he needs to know what has been happening on the ship.

"What is the ship status and what has happened to Pike?"

McCoy decides to answer the more simple query first.

"Starfleet sent a medical ship to come pick him up and Selik went with him to make sure that he was taken care of. Who knew Vulcans could be such mother hens? They have been on Vulcan for the last 3 days. The old hobgoblin tells me he is recovering well. You will get to see them both when we get there ourselves."

Jim's head snaps towards Scotty.

"We're heading to Vulcan?"

Scotty nods his head.

"Yeah. That is where Starfleet Command is temporarily camped out. The brass has called us back. There's a ceremony you need to attend so that you can officially take over this ship. They also need your account over what happened with the Romulans. I think their looking at awarding you a commendation."

Jim's mouth opens and closes a few times before he finally finds his voice.

"They aren't angry with me?"

Uhura answers him this time, disbelief in her voice.

"Why would they be? You saved us all and ensured that the war they were obviously planning didn't take place. They know a hero when they see one."

Spock's hand covers Jim's and he squeezes it, gaining his bond-mate's attention.

"I did inform you of the fact that the Admiralty of this universe were very eager to have you back. Did you forget, James?"

Jim shakes his head. "I didn't forget. I just thought that you might have been over-exaggerating a bit to see that I came back."

Spock stares at him with an insulted expression. He goes to speak, obviously wanting to tell Jim off for jumping to such a conclusion, but Amanda elbows him in the ribs. She then addresses Jim.

"James, my dear. Spock will tell you that Vulcans never 'over exaggerate' and I can tell you now that that is a total crock. Spock however would not lie to you about such an important matter. Vulcans only use that particular skill on trivial matters, like cooking skills and fashion choices."

Spock looks even more insulted, if that was even possible, but he keeps his mouth shut, knowing that he would not win against both his mother and Jim.

Jim gives Amanda a nod in thanks and then looks over at Scotty.

"Anything else I need to know, Mr Scott?"

The engineer glances down at his PADD before answering.

"It will take us 32 hours to reach Vulcan. Starfleet Command were very clear that you and Commander Spock were to take medical leave during that time. After everything you have been through, you deserve a little free time. You donnae have to worry, I have everything under control."

Kirk stood and pulled Spock with him. Everyone else soon followed. Amanda lays a hand on Spock's shoulder and tells them both that she also needs to rest and invites them to have dinner with her in her quarters later. After Spock accepts for the both of them, she leaves and is followed out by Scotty and Nyota.

McCoy is hovering at the door, waiting until it is just him, Spock and Kirk in the room.

"I would demand that you march yourselves down to sickbay so I can check you out, but you both do look like you need some rest."

Jim doesn't believe a word of it. No McCoy, in any universe, would delay inflicting his own brand of torture on anyone, especially for such a flimsy reason. By the way Bones' face darkens, he must have picked up on the fact that Jim isn't buying it.

"Fine! I promised I would help Joanna with her homework and I only have a couple of hours before I have to be on shift. I always keep my promises, so you guys get a temporary pass, but I expect to see you before we reach Vulcan."

And with that said, McCoy stomps from the room, leaving the bonded pair alone.

A wide grin spreads over Jim's face and he grabs Spock's wrist, pulling him through the door. He knows that Spock knows what he is planning and that is why the Vulcan doesn't pull himself free. He's not going to stop Jim when their goals are the same.

They make it to Spock's room and the moment they step through the door, Spock locks it and presses Jim up against it. Jim moans as Spock presses open-mouth kisses to his neck and insinuates a thigh between his legs. He can't help but push against it to try and relieve the pressure building up inside of him.

"Fuck!"

Kirk can feel Spock's lips form a smirk against his neck before his head lifts and he responds.

"That was the plan, ashayam."

Jim's brows farrow in confusion for a moment, but Spock soon makes himself clear when he lifts him off the ground and starts backing towards the bed. Jim wraps his legs around Spock's hips and grinds against his bond-mate's firm stomach. Spock's step falters for a moment, but then he soon regains his stride. Kirk is lowered to the bed and has just enough time to scoot into the centre of it before he has a very eager Vulcan crawling on top of him.

Nimble fingers work at the fastening of Jim's pants, as he reaches up and runs his hands through Spock's hair. They still for a moment, however, as a thought occurs to him. A grin quickly spreads across his face.

"You know, this will be the first time we have ever done it in this bed."

Spock finally gets his pants undone and he wastes no time pulling them, with briefs, down to his knees. Jim lets out a gasp when Spock takes a hold of him. Spock's face is now hovering over him and he is smiling. Not one of his barely there smiles that Jim has become so accustomed to, but a full blown 'lights up his whole face smile'. Jim just stares up in wonder.

"Well then, we must ensure that it is special."

Kirk's eyes soften and he wraps his arms around Spock's neck and pulls him down until there is is barely a hair's breath between them.

"With you, it is always special."

Hungry lips press against his and the only words spoken for the rest of the night were declarations of love.

* * *

><p>The <em>Enterprise <em>makes it to Vulcan without incident and it isn't long before most of the crew have been debriefed and beamed to the surface. Only the maintenance crew and Spock and Kirk are left on board. Spock is making some last minute adjustments to his report while Jim lounges on the bed. He is shifting through some of Spock's family photos and wondering how it is even possible to fall more in love with his husband, when said husband's deep voice travels across the room.

"James, there is something that has been bothering me, but I am hesitant to bring it up. I do not wish to make you upset and I fear that this discussion may do just that."

This grabs Jim's full attention. He sits up, facing Spock, who has spun his chair away from the computer screen, and places the photos gently on the bed next to him.

"You can ask me anything, t'hy'la. We don't have secrets. I am actually surprised you didn't just look for the answers through the bond. Wouldn't that be easier?"

Spock shakes his head. "It would be easier, but that should not be how a relationship should work. Just because your mind is bonded to my own does not mean that I should have free access to everything inside of it. Your mind is still your own. I am merely a guest who gets to visit from time to time."

A small part of Kirk is relieved by this information. He loves Spock and he wasn't lying when he said there are no secrets between them, but the fact that he is still in charge of when and how he gets to explain things makes him feel more secure. He trusts Spock with his mind, but it is nice to know that Spock trust him enough to just ask for the information he seeks instead of trying to find it himself.

"Good to know. A little mystery is good for a relationship after all. Now, what did you want to know?"

Spock move the chair, and himself, closer to Jim until he can rest his hands on the man's knees. He does not break eye contact, which allows Jim to see the nervousness hidden in his gaze.

"You do not have to answer if you do not want to, but I am curious about the message you sent to Uhura from your universe just before we were beamed away. What did you tell her?"

Jim sighs and reaches out to place a hand on Spock's neck. Spock leans into the caress, as Jim unconsciously traces the green bite mark he left last night with his thumb.

"I didn't tell her what her Spock had done if that is what you are thinking. Like I said before, I couldn't hurt her like that. I just gave her the full meaning of t'hy'la. The explanation Selik gave me before we bonded."

Spock's eyes widen as he takes in what Jim has just said. He stays quiet, knowing that Jim hasn't

finished.

"After she asked us to explain the meaning to her, I went and typed up everything I remembered from my conversation with Selik. I really didn't think I would send it to her, but when I saw her standing there in the transporter room watching her husband reach for someone else I decided that she needed to know why her Spock would not be able to give her everything. It's up to her to decide if she can settle for that. Maybe she can, but she needed to know all the facts before she bonds with him. I got that before I bonded with you."

Spock moves forward and places a chaste kiss on Jim's nose before leaning back into his chair.

"I will forever be thankful to my older counter-part for that service. I would have convinced you in the end, but his meddling ensured that we got together much sooner."

Kirk chuckles and suddenly the somber mood has evaporated. He glances over at the wall clock and then back at Spock with a questioning look.

"So, are you nearly done? We have a meeting with the admiralty in 30 minutes."

Spock's eye brow goes up. "I completed all of my revisions before speaking with you about the message you sent to Uhura."

Jim chooses to ignore the sass that has leaked into Spock's voice and instead stands, holding out a hand for the Vulcan to take.

"Come on, smart ass. Our backs aren't going to pat themselves."

Spock takes Jim's offered hand and allows the Human to pull him up. He gives him an exasperated eye roll as he is led from the room and towards the transporter room.

"I do not even know where to begin with that illogical statement."

Kirk doesn't stop walking as he turns to face Spock and give him a wink.

"Then don't. Just suck it up and deal with the fact that you are bonded to an illogical, albeit incredibly handsome, human."

Spock releases an exaggerated sigh, but ruins it by squeezing Jim's hand affectionately.

"It is a burden I am willing to endure."

"We are here today, not only to see the command of our flagship pass from one great man to another, but to also show the people of Starfleet and the Federation that not only do we acknowledge selfless acts of bravery, but that we also reward it."

Admiral Nogura stepped away from the podium with a box in his hand, and moves to stand in front of Kirk, who has been standing on the stage since the official transfer of command. He looks the picture of calm, but on the inside he is a nervous mess. He was not told their was going to be more to the ceremony until he had shown up and no one would give him any details. He was just waiting for the moment when Nogura explains that this was all a joke and that he actually getting sent to Rura Penthe for invading their universe.

Suddenly he is awash with feelings of calm that are not his own.

_'They would do no such thing, James. They see you for who you truly are.. a good man.'_

Before Jim can argue with him, Nogura voice brings him back to the situation at hand. The box he is holding is now open and Jim can see an award nestled in the velvet. He doesn't recognise it.

"James T. Kirk, you were not born into this universe and yet you walked into almost certain death to secure the safety of the _Enterprise_and the entire Federation. Most men in your situation would not have acted the way you did. You are an example to all that do and will wear the Starfleet uniform. You will lead us into a brighter future. You are the very epitome of what it means to be a hero."

Jim can feel Spock's smugness through their link and can almost hear the 'I told you so' in his mind.

"The Admiralty felt that no award that currently exist would fully show how appreciative we are of your actions, so we decided to create a new one for the occasion."

The hall explodes with chatter and Jim chances a glance over Nogura's shoulder towards the front row. McCoy, Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, Chekov and Gaila are chattering excitedly amongst themselves, obviously surprised by this turn of events. Spock, Pike and Amanda, on the other hand, are sitting in their seats quietly with identical expressions of pride.

Admiral Nogura calls for silence and when the noise dies down, he reaches into the box and takes out the medal.

"I presents to you, Captain James T. Kirk, the Earth's champion award. Your actions protected the people of Earth and their allies, and by doing so you have kept our planet's memory alive."

The older man pins the a medal to Jim's dress tunic and then steps back. Everybody in the hall jumps to their feet in applause.

Kirk scans the crowd. His eyes travel over people he has known and who is just beginning to know

again. They are all smiling at him. Real smiles. Care and acceptance shining through their eyes. His focus does not linger on them for long though. The need to look upon Spock too strong. Once their eyes meet, something finally clicks within Jim.

There has been a feeling that has been bubbling inside of him since meeting Spock. He had assumed that it was love, but that doesn't seem quite right. The love is there. It is bright and hot and nearly all consuming. This other feeling is warm and more like a soft caress. Now it finally has a name. It is the feeling of finally being home.

**/**

**There will be a short epilogue and then this will be finished (I should have it up in a week). I don't see myself writing a sequel, but never say never. **


	22. Epilogue

**This is it! The Epilogue! I hope that I fulfilled most of what the challenge asked for, but I will admit that this story got away from me. It was only meant to be 20,000 words at the MOST.**

**Thank you to T'Arrah for being my beta. You have kept me going.**

**Before anyone asks, there will be no sequel to this. There just doesn't seem to be anything left in this universe to write, especially after this chapter. But I am glad so many readers enjoyed it.**

**Star Trek isn't mine.**

**/**

**/**

Jim can't believe he let Spock talk him into this. He has been bonded to the Vulcan for 40 years (to the actual day) and still he hasn't figured out a way to say no to Spock. Because Jim is a busy Admiral, and Spock, the head of the VSA, they rarely get vacation time together and he was expecting them to spend that time relaxing in a luxury hotel on a recently restored Earth (thanks to the Genesis Project). Instead, Spock shoves him into a hover car and blindfolds him, simply telling him that he wishes to keep their destination a surprise.

They had been driving for a few hours now, passing the time by listening to music, playing imaginary chess or just talking. Just when Jim thinks he can't take this any longer and is about to pull his blindfold off, the car slows down and comes to a stop. He can feel Spock's fingers working loose the knot of his blindfold and within seconds it falls away to reveal a place he wasn't expecting. He jumps out of the vehicle and takes in his surroundings, before turning back to Spock, who has also gotten out of the car.

"Uh... Spock. Why are we at McCoy's house? I thought I told you that he and his wife were going to be off-world during our vacation. Something about visiting Joanna on Vulcan. I still think it is hilarious that she married a Vulcan. Maybe it has to do with her teenage crush on you or..." Jim trails off when he realizes Spock is staring at him with open amusement. He tries to fight down a blush and instead places his hands on his hips and taps his foot impatiently, waiting for Spock to take the hint. Spock rolls his eyes and his hand disappears into his jacket, only to reappear with a small electronic device held in it.

"We are here so that I can give you your anniversary present. For the last 40 years I have been working on it and now it is finally ready to use." He hands the device to Jim as he says this.

Jim flips the small black unit in his hand and then gazes up at Spock in question.

"Not that I am not thankful for this wonderful gift... but what exactly does it do?"

Instead of answering, Spock takes Jim's empty hand and begins leading him up the pathway to the front door. Once they reach it, Spock tells Jim to press the green button on the device. The moment he does, a strange sensation overcomes Jim. He feels as though he is being beamed using a transporter, but the only difference is that their surroundings don't change at all.

The feeling passes soon enough and he turns to Spock. _'Is__ that __it,__love?__Because __if__ it __is,__it__ was__ kind__ of__ disappointing.'_

Spock just smirks. "Knock on the door, ashayam."

Jim decides that reminding Spock (yet again) that nobody is home would be a waste of time and decides to just humor his bond-mate. He knocks twice and they wait. He is just about to rub Spock's nose in the fact that he was correct when the door whips open and he comes face to face with McCoy.

Jim blinks a few times before he notices something about his friend. This is not the McCoy that he has been friends with for the past 40 years. He is close to that McCoy, but he would never look at him like the old doctor in front of him is doing right now. Like he is about to cry from happiness. It is _his_McCoy. It's Bones.

"Jim, my god! It's you. You're here." And then McCoy is pulling him into a bone crushing hug. Jim is too shocked to do anything for a moment, but then he is hugging back just as fiercely. Tears prick his eyes and he lets them fall, not at all ashamed. They are tears of joy.

The embrace lasts for a few more beats and then Bones is pulling away to stare in wonder at Jim.

"How did you do it? How did you get back?"

Jim wipes the tears from his face and then shrugs. He really has no idea, and then he suddenly remembers that Spock is with them. He can't believe that he forgot about his bond-mate, especially when he was the one who made this happen. His guilt is washed away by Spock's pleasure at seeing Jim happy.

_'It is understandable that you have other things on your mind besides me. You did just reunite with your best friend after 40 years apart, but if it makes you feel better, I forgive you.'_

Jim smiles and before McCoy can ask him what the smile is for, he pulls the doctor toward Spock.

"I didn't do anything, Bones. When I knocked I didn't know you would be answering. This was all Spock. Actually, I am also curious as to how he did this. I had always assumed that we didn't have any secrets." Both Jim and McCoy turn to Spock with identical raised eyebrows. Spock just lifts his own eyebrow before he responds.

"We do share many things, but just like you are able to keep sensitive Starfleet information away from me, I am able to keep my work away from you. As I told you before, I have been working on this for the last 40 years, first in my spare time on-board the _Enterprise_and then when I joined the staff of the Vulcan Science Academy. I tried to recreate the circumstances of our original crossover, but with the added bonus of being able to cross between universes whenever you wish. It took me longer then I had originally estimated."

Spock glance away in shame as he says the last part. Jim sees it and quickly wraps his arms around Spock's neck and pulls him into a kiss. _'No__ one __has __ever__ done__ anything__ like __this __for __me. __You __knew __I __wanted __to __come __back__ here __and __you __spent __40 __fucking __years __trying __to __make __that __happen ...__and__ you__ did __it,__ Spock. __I __didn't __think __it__ was __possible __to __love __you __more,__ but __you __some how __managed __that, __too.'_

They reluctantly pull apart when they hear McCoy clear his throat. "If you love-birds are done, why don't we head into the living room and catch up. I'm not getting any younger." He glances over at Jim and Spock, and smirks. "And neither are you."

Once they are seated Jim tells Bones about everything that he has done since leaving. He talks about captaining the _Enterprise,_about how he negotiated peace with the Klingons during his second tour, about how he became the youngest Admiral in Starfleet history, and how he did everything he could, including risking his career, to make sure that the Genesis Project happened. Spock goes into further detail, explaining that because of Genesis, which the leaders of the Federation deemed too risky, Earth is nearly fully restored to its former glory. After some probing by McCoy, Spock discusses what he had been doing for the last four decades, besides finding a way to travel between universes safely.

Soon it is Bones' turn for show and tell, and what he has to say is definitely enlightening for both Kirk and Spock.

Bones ended up leaving the _Enterprise_8 months after Jim left, realizing that he had nothing left keeping him there. He became the head of Starfleet Medical and ended up getting full custody of Joanna after his ex-wife died in a car accident. He has been in a serious relationship with Christine Chapel (who is currently spending quality girl time with Joanna) for the last 32 years.

When Spock asks why he hasn't married her, McCoy simply says "Marriage and me don't mix, Spock".

He goes on to talk about the others that he managed to keep in contact with over the years. Evidently, Uhura did end up divorcing Spock, and not long after Jim had left either. Just as Jim starts to feel guilty though, McCoy informs him that she has been happily married to Scotty for the last 30 years. Kirk smiles at that. He also learns that Sulu got his own ship and married Chekov pretty much right after his promotion. After this McCoy goes silent. It's an expectant silence. Jim knows what his friend is waiting for him to ask and he doesn't disappoint.

"What about Spock?"

Bones sighs and first tells him about Selik. The old Vulcan travelled to the _Enterprise_hoping to lend his support to his younger counter-part after losing his t'hy'la. He was rebuffed. He returned to New Vulcan and continued to help with the colonisation. He died peacefully in his sleep 20 years after Jim had left.

The younger Spock became Captain of the _Enterprise,_but only kept that title for 18 months before he resigned his commission and disappeared to New Vulcan. McCoy had heard rumors that Spock had successfully completed Kolinahr and had retreated to the sacred mountains of New Vulcan to become a mind healer.

Jim was thankful for the fact that Spock had managed to find away around losing his soul-mate (his Spock had told him all about Kolinahr), because even though he had grown to dislike the other Spock, he would never want him to be in pain.

They continued to chat for hours, but finally they all agreed that it was time for Jim and Spock to go. So, with the promise of returning during Christmas so that they could catch up with everyone else, McCoy walks them to the door. Spock exits first, and just as Jim was about to follow him, Bones pulls him back. Jim looks at him in puzzlement.

"Have you been happy, Jim? That is the main reason you left, after all."

This sudden inquiry makes Jim grin, because even after 40 years apart, McCoy still can't help being a mother hen. He reaches for his friends shoulder and pats it. "Yeah, I have, Bones. More than I ever thought I could be."

McCoy nods at this, and Jim takes that to mean that the answer was satisfactory. He turns away from his friend and walks out the door toward Spock. He takes the Vulcan's hand.

"I love you, Spock."

Spock squeezes his hand. "I love you, as well. Forever." Then Spock presses the button on the device and they are gone, together.

**Now for some bad news. I will not be writing any fanfiction for a little while because my studies are taking up most of my time and I am planning an international move, which is beyond stressful.**

**I do plan to write a sequel to 'You never stop learning' but I won't be starting it until Feb, and I won't be posting it until it is finished. I have come to the the realisation that WIPs stress me out too much and I stop enjoying the process.**

**With that said, I hope you enjoyed this story and I will be back.**


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